My Brother's Keeper- LoveLoyalty Book One
by Dream Walker's Obsession
Summary: FULL DESCRIPTION INSIDE-LOVE OR LOYALTY REWRITE Standing at a fork in life, you have two options- the safe paved route, or the questionable dirt road. My entire life, I believed that the safe route would pave the way to my future. A year ago, I was content with that route. Until he came into my life. Love & Friendship. *Romitri/Original Pairings* *DISCLAIMER: I ONLY OWN THE PLOT*
1. Introduction

_**Introduction/Description**_

 _ **My Brother's Keeper-Formally 'Love Or Loyalty'**_

 **First and Foremost-**

Some of you may recognize this story, and hopefully, some don't. When I started 'Love or Loyalty' back in July, I had massive plans for it. I wanted a thrilling, emotional, angst-riddled story about choosing between what you have been taught as law, and what your heart desires- something I am sure everyone reading this will understand. However, I endured several things- personal/family issues- that led me to force that story to continue. My head was not in the right space to be able to bring the world I wanted to create to life. And apparently, it was far too similar to another story by another author, which I didn't even notice until it was pointed out.

So, I threw the entire thing away.

'Love or Loyalty' died the day I took it off of FanFiction.

Now, with that being said, the first two chapters of this are exact- _okay almost-_ exactly the same, only a few minor details were changed. The first chapter sets the pace for the whole story, that much I was going to keep. Everything after that- everything you can recall from the original, if anything,- throw it out as I did.

Forget about Eddie joining forces with Galina.

Forget about Dimitri and Rose taking off to Russia.

Forget Rose being taken by Randall and Tasha.

Forget it all. It's gone. Not going to happen.

And get ready for the thrilling adventure that Rose is about to embark on.

I Present to you:

 **My Brother's Keeper**

One of the hardest decisions in life is choosing the path you want to take. Standing at a fork in life, you have two options- the safe paved route, or the questionable dirt road. My entire life, I believed that the safe route would pave the way to my future. I would guard my best friend, watch her get married, grow a family, and live happily ever after. A year ago, I was content with that route. Until he came into my life.

Now I am faced with a choice, Love or Loyalty.

I thought I had made the right decision, but one word at a time, one slip of his tongue, and I questioned whether I wanted to pursue either.

As I stare at the split in the roadway of my life, I draw a deep breath and walk down the middle- creating a new path. A path carved through the trees until I find my own happily ever after.

* * *

 **UPDATE SCHEDULE:**

Chapters 1 - 3 will be uploaded back to back (a few hours apart to allow new readers to catch up), only because one and two are repeat chapters from the original. After that, the next update will be Sunday and normal updates will follow every Wednesday and Sunday.


	2. Chapter One

_**Chapter One**_

 _ **Rose**_

I stare out the window of my seaside apartment, the summer breeze floating through the window accompanied by the salty smell of the bay, reflecting on my choices. Choices that led me to here and now- spending my days basking in the suns rays on Alki Beach, my nights in various bars, clubs, and the occasional museum- when my best friend decides he wants to feed his inner artist.

Life hands us many things, some better than others, but of all the encounters I have faced, one thing has remained constant.

Love.

Such a complicated emotion. It can build you up and break you down with a simple look, word, or action. It is the founding emotion in all of our hearts. We are born with it. Over time, that feeling evolves and others begin to show their colors. Hate. Anger. Fear. Happiness. Sorrow. The list goes on and on and it all thrives off of one emotion- one powerful feeling. It drives us to become the people we were meant to be.

But with love comes loyalty.

Another word that carries a heavyweight. Be it to your family, friends, or yourself. Loyalty is based on trust and honor, but also the aforementioned love feeling. When you love someone, you remain loyal, well, most do, not all, but most. If you truly cared for someone you would remain loyal to them and do whatever you can to protect them.

When you mix those two together, you get one complicated mess. They thrive off of one another, but in the end, you have to choose one. Love or Loyalty. You have to choose between who you were born to be, and who you want to be. What the world tells you is right, and what you believe is best.

Love, I had decided, is what I wanted to pursue.

But what I didn't know, is just how hard that journey was going to be. How many trials and tribulations I would have to face in order to gain my happily ever after. But it's all worth it in the end.

Right?

We shall see.

Care to join me for the ride?

Are you sure? It's going to be one hell of an experience, are you ready for it?

Alright then, let's go back in time, to the event that changed everything. The moment I realized that life is a bitch, and she bites really, really hard.

* * *

The last thing I remember was being outside the elementary dorms, fighting beside Christian as wave after wave of Strigoi breached the school. Looking at the bodies of dozens of Strigoi, a dozen people once upon a time, laid dead across the lawn. Red blood staining the now muddy slush that hadn't yet melted from winter.

So much blood.

"Roza, please, wake up," his voice sounded tortured. I wanted to answer, to let him know I could hear him, but I couldn't.

I felt a crushing pressure in my chest, heartache from the event that had just taken place. Knowing that not everyone made it out of the battle alive, or here.

More events started to come back to me. Talking to Dimitri, the relief at seeing him alive, battered and bruised, but alive nonetheless. Kirova and Alberta calling for the school to remain in lockdown, the Guardians performing clean up. Lissa, Christian, Adrian and I in the dining hall. Eddie. Eddie had been taken. Talking to Mason...then nothing.

"пожалуйста, вернись ко мне, Роза, я люблю тебя, пожалуйста, вернись," I loved it when he spoke Russian to me, though I didn't understand a word he just said.

"She still hasn't woken?" a new voice joined his, bringing a slew of emotions with it. I could feel her despair, anxiety as she watched my still form.

"No," Dimitri's voice was low, but I could feel his hand still holding mine. He should have pulled away, Lissa can't know about us. "Her pulse is still steady, but she hasn't moved at all," he released my hand just then. I wish I could see his face, just to see whether he looked believable or not. Considering I hadn't heard a heart rate monitor beeping, I assume I wasn't hooked up to anything, so maybe she will buy that excuse.

"Let me try," Lissa took my now empty hand in hers.

 **Hot. Cold. Hot. Cold.**

The contrasting sensation rolled over my skin, flowing through my veins and spreading in my flesh. She was healing me or at least attempting to. With her burst of Spirit power, I felt the darkness grow, my own body pulling it toward me.

 _Liss. Stop._

 **Hot. Cold. Hot. Cold.**

The thing about Spirit, it's a double-edged sword. The more she used it, the more darkness bled into me. If she didn't use it, it drove her mad, in turn doing the same to me. I was in a lose-lose position, either way, I got cut.

 _Lissa, Please, Stop._

I must have spoken out loud because Lissa halted her healing, drawing in a quick breath. I blinked rapidly, my eyes adjusting to the fluorescent lights in the clinic. I met the Jade eyes of my best friend first, even though my mind screamed to look at Dimitri.

"Hey," I croaked, my throat sore, dry.

"Oh, thank God," she whispered, moving to wrap her arms around me in a very awkward hug.

"I'm okay, Liss."

She sat up, wiping tears from her cheeks. Dimitri came into my line of sight, a cup of water in his hand. Holding the straw to my lips, I drank it greedily.

"Thanks, Comrade," I gave him a small smile before downing the rest of the drink. The cup now empty, he went to refill it, I waited till he returned to ask my next question. "What happened?"

Lissa looked to him, clearly wanting him to tell me instead of her. His gentle eyes met mine, concern, and fear swirling deep, "You said you needed to talk to Mason, so I took you to the gates. You were talking to him for a while, he told you where the Strigoi were hiding, but before I could get you back behind the wards, something happened. You started screaming, as you did on the plane to court, saying " _they needed to go_ ". I tried to pull you back, but you started thrashing around like you were fighting them, and then you blacked out."

I didn't remember that part. I remember Mason telling me the Strigoi were hiding in a cave a few miles away, but I couldn't recall dealing with any other ghost.

"Princess, would you mind if I had a few moments with Rose, please," Dimitri turned on his guardian's voice, mask securely in place while addressing her.

"Of course, and for the thousandth time, call me Lissa, please," she smiled at us, and left the room.

The second the door shut, his mask fell and I could see just how worried he had been. Not just from the dark circles under his eyes that told me he had not slept in a while, probably since before his shift _before_ the attack. But the look in those eyes. The look of a man that has been worried beyond imagination, holding in his pain and fear.

"Roza," his voice a whisper again, "do you have any idea how scared I have been? What happened to you?"

"I honestly don't know," shaking my head, "I don't know the last thing I can remember was talking to Mason, then nothing. How long have I been out?"

"Two days."

"Seriously," I attempted to raise a brow, "Did you guys go on the rescue mission? Is Eddie okay? What happened?"

Dimitri shook his head, "No mission, the Queen deemed it too great a risk," I caught a hint of sarcasm in his voice, very un-Dimitri, or rather Guardian Belikov like, "She said Guardian numbers are too low to risk losing more for a few people who are most likely dead anyway."

"Bitch," I muttered, Dimitri shot me a look of disapproval, "What, you have to agree, we could have saved them, we had the upper hand."

"That isn't for us to decide, we answer to the Council, who answers to her."

"But what about Eddie, and the others, we are just going to write them off as dead and move on?" I shouted.

"We don't have a choice, Roza," his voice tender, but it didn't settle the raging fire in my heart. How could you write off all of them, just like that?

Not knowing if they are alive, dead or turned, is pure torture. I had already lost Mason, now Eddie and who else? Who else had fallen victim to the horrendous attack and had been written off. Moroi and Dhampir alike, do their lives not matter?

Moroi looked at Dhampir like merchandise, purchase at any store kind of thing. _Replaceable._ We lived to serve them, we survived by them. _They come first_ has been drilled into us since before we could speak. We had to write it over and over in kindergarten before we even learned to write our names.

I loathed the system, but I understood it. The Dhampir must bow down, Moroi come first. We needed them to continue our race, for that, we had to protect them. We have trained since diapers to keep their race going, so ours could too.

It's bullshit.

"I know what you are thinking, and though I agree, there is nothing we can do. We will mourn them and move on. But first, you need to heal."

I hated how well he could read me, but loved it all the same too. He always knew what I was thinking without me having to say a word. And I could do the same to him, too. It's why we worked so well together, as Guarding partners and now as lovers. As if still reading my mind, he broached that particular subject.

"Rose, about what happened…in the cabin..."

"Don't." I paused, and he lifts a brow, "Don't do this right now. I don't want to hear how wrong you think it was, I really could do without a lecture."

"I hadn't planned a lecture," he contested, "I just wanted to see how you were feeling about it, I wanted to be sure you didn't regret it. I surely don't."

I stared at him baffled, unable to form a response. Guardian Belikov, master of self-control and doing the right thing, has admitted he doesn't regret doing the one thing he swore he wouldn't do. Okay, maybe he didn't exactly swear he wouldn't, but he had fought, we both had, to keep our feelings at bay.

"Why would I?"

"I don't know," his shoulders shrugged, "I need to know how you feel about it because now that we have crossed that bridge, I don't see how we can ever go back."

Love soared through my heart. "I don't want to go back."

"You're sure?" he rose a brow. God will he stop doing that! I swear he did it just to rattle me.

"Positive, I love you, and I am tired of pretending I don't."

Leaning forward, his lips a breath away, "I love you, too, Roza," he whispered before crashing his mouth to mine.

I felt the electricity crackle in the air, sizzling through my body. I could never get enough of that feeling. I wondered how I ever thought of kissing Jesse or even Mason had been amazing. It didn't hold a candle to the fire Dimitri lit inside me, burning from my head to my toes, simmering in the middle.

Wrapping my arms around his neck, running my fingers through his hair- he really needed to wash it, it felt oily and coarse, but that could wait a little longer- I pulled him closer, lifting my body to him at the same time. I needed more, wanted more contact with him. Our tongues danced together, swooping and curling around. The taste of him drove me further, causing the simmer in my lower abdomen to boil.

"Roza," he groaned, forcing himself to pull back. His breathing heavy, matching my own, "We can't, not here and not right now," voice low and husky.

I wanted to protest, but he is right. I may not be physically injured, but I am still swimming in darkness, both from Lissa's healing and the whole ghost thing. Plus, we were in the clinic, anyone could walk in on us at any moment. Reluctantly, I laid back on the bed, letting out a very unsatisfied sigh.

"Soon, Milaya, I promise."

"You better," I laughed.

We talked for a while longer, mainly about how we would handle the new developments of our relationship. Deciding we would still keep our normal roles of Mentor and Student during the day, we wouldn't hold back when we were alone at night. Dr. Oldenzki came to check on me once, deeming me well enough to return to my own room.

Dimitri and I completed the journey in silence, but just before we made it to my building, something pulled my attention to the back gates. Like a calling, or a summons rather, for me. Walking past the dorms, Dimitri tried calling out to me, even tried to get me to stop, but I couldn't. The force drawing me to the edge of the wards is stronger than him.

 _Rose._

My movement halted, "Did you hear that?" I gasped.

 _Rose come here, I have to tell you something._

"Rose, what's wrong?" Dimitri's tone wavered.

 _Rose, please._

I picked up my pace, running toward the area of the wards that had been broken during the attack. As soon as I crossed over I saw him.

Mason.

"So you can talk now?" my eyes widened as his full form came into view.

When I had seen him before, he always appeared to be flickering, like a light about to go out. The way he stood before me now, I could imagine he is alive. His skin wasn't the deathly pale I had seen that day in Spokane, but his normal pale with pink blushed cheeks. His red hair shone bright, the blue in his eyes sparkled with life. How?

 _Apparently._ He laughed, _How are you, Rosie?_

"I've been better," I shrugged. "How can I see you so clearly, and hear you?"

 _Not sure, but I have to tell you something,_ he paused, a battle occurring in his mind. I waited for him to continue, drinking in his features as if it would be the last time I would see him. Knowing very well it could be, I wanted to remember everything about him, perfectly. Consumed by his appearance, I almost missed his next words.

"Wait, what?!"

 _Eddie. Eddie is Strigoi and you need to find him. Kill him. He can't go on like that, Rose._

"How do you know this?"

 _I watched them turn him, down in the caves the night after the attack. They fed on several that they took but turned him and a Moroi. He tried to fight, but he was too weak, he couldn't stop them._ His voice haunted by the memory. So much for the other side being all rainbows and gumdrops, he looked like he was in excruciating pain. _Rose, please, you have to go after him. For me._

"Do you know where he went? How I can find him?"

He shook his head, eyes downcast, _But if anyone can do it, you can._

I readied myself to leave right then and there at his request. I know that Eddie would never want to be like that. He, like me, wouldn't want to live in that state.

Mason looked to something behind me, a small smile playing on his lips, _Still with the Russian jailer I see._ A knowing look in his eyes, _I am glad you have him, Rose. After I … well after that, it was really weird. It was like I was floating above my own body, watching you. I don't regret what I did Rose, I would do it again if it meant keeping you alive and happy. When I saw the look on his face when he came into that house, I knew he loved you. He looks at you the same way I did._

"Mase," tears built in my throat, "I'm sorry."

 _Don't be. You're happy, that's all I ever wanted for you. You deserve it. But if he ever hurts you, I will haunt him._ He chuckled.

"My hero," I placed my hands over my heart, giving him a wide smile. I heard Dimitri call for me again, Mason knew I had to go. "I love you, Mase, and I miss you."

 _I love you too, Rosie. Take care of yourself, know that I will always be around should you need me. All you have to do is call._ He started to flicker again, vanishing before my eyes, _Oh, and when you find Eddie, remember, he isn't the person you knew. He will be hard to fight, but in the end, he will be happy that you did it._

And he was gone.

My heart ached at his departure. Wrapping my arms around myself, I turned to walk back to Dimitri. His hands went to my shoulders, pulling me close to his body. We were in the shadows of the woods, so we didn't fear being seen by anyone. Throwing my arms around his waist, I clung to him, burying my head into his chest and letting the tears escape.

"Roza."

Pulling back, I looked up to him. One large calloused hand came to my face, gently wiping away the fallen tears. The concern and fear covering his features made my heart ache further.

"He's...Eddie…" I struggle to get the words out, sobs escaped my throat at a rapid rate.

"Shh, it's going to be okay, everything is going to be okay," he rubbed my back with his other hand, desperate to calm me. It worked, though his words were lost on me. It wouldn't be okay, it will never be okay. Either way, I lost my friend. If I didn't go after him, he would hunt and kill for the rest of his existence. If I did, I had to kill him.

Again, lose-lose for Hathaway.

"No, it won't," I mumbled, "Mason said he is Strigoi, they turned him Dimitri, and I need to find him."

"Roza, you can't."

"But I can. I have too."

"Rose," his tone stern, but still held compassion, "You have a duty here, you can't just run off to chase a ghost," scoffing, _the ghost come to me,_ I thought. "I know what you are feeling, I have dealt with the same thing, but it isn't practical. Lissa needs you, _I need you_."

"Wouldn't you want someone to come after you?" I already knew the answer, we had this talk months ago in the van to Missoula.

"Yes, but I wouldn't want you to neglect your duty, your charge and best friend to do it. If you come across him, kill him, but don't go looking for the fight."

What he said made sense, but how many people will die before then. If ever. What if I never come across him? How long will it be before someone, anyone, kills him? Will I even know if it happens? How can I live not knowing if he is still out there, preying on innocent lives?

"Come on, we need to get you to bed," Dimitri pulled himself away from me, grabbing my hand and leading us back toward the dorms.

My thoughts continued to run, a million questions and concerns rolling through, one after another. I couldn't stop it. We walked in the back door, and up to my room. It was just after nine PM, so everyone else would already be in bed. I unlocked my door and stepped in Dimitri following.

"Will you stay?" I asked albeit shyly, when he didn't answer I added, "I just don't want to be alone right now. Please, Comrade."

"Only for a few hours," he began to take off his shoes, setting them by the door.

Turning my back to him, I changed into a large t-shirt and only my panties underneath. With only his boxers left on, he climbed into my bed, lifting the cover for me to crawl in beside him. His large frame made sleeping on a single bed a bit difficult, but after some maneuvering, we found a comfortable position. We both laid on our sides, my back pressed tightly to his chest. My head rested on one of his arms, while the other one draped across my stomach. Our legs tangled together, leaving no area of skin untouched by the other.

"I love you, Roza, sweet dreams," he kissed my temple.

"I love you, too, Comrade, thank you for staying."

Turning my head to him, he brought his lips to mine in a brief kiss, "Anything for you, though I will have to leave in a few hours, we can't risk someone seeing me here."

"I know," a heavy sigh passed my lips. Both in the content of being wrapped in his arms, but also in anguish, knowing it would only last for a little while. I wiggled in his arms, trying to get impossibly closer to him.

"Roza," he growled. Before I could ask what, I realized what I had done, I could feel it.

"Sorry," I chuckled. I loved knowing that I didn't have to try hard to cause that reaction out of him. He was turned on just by simply laying here with me. I can't lie and say that I didn't feel the same way. I wanted to be with him again but now is not the time.

"Go to sleep, woman."

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Welcome back, My Loves.**

 **I have been dying to share this with you guys again, and the time has come.**

 **Please, If you would be so kind, leave your thoughts in the reviews, good or bad, I appreciate the feedback.**

 **Now, I have slacked on this in the past, but I want to fix that.** **So, the question for this update: What is your favorite Holiday tradition?**

 **I would have to say my favorite thing about the holidays is having my family together in one room. It's not very often anymore that we all get to spend a day together, so to me, that is the best thing in the world!**

 **All My Love to You all and Merry Christmas,**

 **Dream**

 **P.S- Are you following me on Facebook? If not swing on by and show my page some love, snips, quotes and every day shananigans are posted there!**

 **www dot facebook dot com / dreamwalkersobsession**


	3. Chapter Two

_**Chapter Two**_

 _ **Rose**_

"Little Dhampir, you are looking…." Adrian trailed off, walking up to our table for breakfast.

Classes hadn't resumed yet, and Dimitri and I weren't training either. So I met with Lissa and Christian this morning for breakfast.

"If you say dark I am going to hurt you," I growled.

Without training, and not being able to fall back asleep after Dimitri left this morning, I was a bit cranky. Adrian picked up on that quickly, not only by the sound of my voice but the color of my aura. I am certain he could see just how much darkness surrounded me, but I didn't need a reminder, or Lissa to know just how bad things had been.

Something about the last conversation with Mason troubled me. Not only had I been able to see him clearer, but I had talked to him. I could hear his voice as clear as if he was alive and standing in front of me. Which he really had looked alive.

Dimitri couldn't explain any further about what he had seen when the "ghost" had attacked me outside of the wards. Though I could feel that the barrier between me and the afterlife had been broken. That thought scared me, far more than an army of Strigoi ever could.

Breakfast continued in light conversation, mainly between Liss and Adrian, Spirit, of course. Christian looked bored out of his mind, needing a reprieve from the drunken wonder. I picked at my food, pushing it around my plate, but never taking a bite.

People moved around, some coming in to start their day, others leaving in search of something to do. The campus is on soft lockdown still, only meaning an earlier curfew. We were allowed to move around during daylight hours but had to be in our rooms by sundown. Kirova had switched us to a human schedule, for the time being, hoping to lessen the risk should another attack occur.

I felt his eyes on me as soon as he walked in. Raising my head just in time to see him walk across the commons and stand against the far wall. Our gazes stayed locked in a silent conversation, the world around me fading. His mask covering his emotions, but I could read him better than anyone. I saw the flash of jealousy just before I felt Adrian put his arm around me.

"You would think he would be less green considering he got something I never will," Adrian whispered into my ear. I turned to look at him shocked. "What?"

"How did you...you know what nevermind, just leave me alone, Adrian." I stood up, wanting to be away from him and his aura reading ways.

"Rose, what's wrong?" Lissa asked.

"Nothing, I am going to go lay down, all of a sudden I don't feel very well," I shot Adrian a look of disgust.

"Do you need an escort, Little Dhampir?"

"No." I said sharply, "I'll see you later, Liss."

I caught Dimitri's eyes before exiting, a new fire raged in them. He glanced from me to where Adrian was still sitting, then back. I shook my head, telling him not to worry, and left in search of solitude. Most people would find comfort in dark times in a church or surround by their friends, family. I, however, sat in the graveyard next to my friend's headstone.

I laid my jacket on the ground sitting on top of it to avoid the still damp ground soaking my jeans. Spring was just around the corner, but the remains of winter still lingered. The snow had melted, turning to murky slush, it would be another week or so before that disappeared as well.

Resting my back against Mason's headstone, I thought back to last night. Why could I see him so clearly? Why could I talk to him as if he was still here among the living? How much darkness in me did it take for that to happen? What happened before I blacked out? What had the ghost wanted with me then? And why can't I remember it? So- so many questions, and no answers.

Typical.

Lissa and I really needed to find a balance with this. I don't know how much more darkness I can take before it becomes too much. Too much for even Dimitri to be able to pull me back from. Granted, if I got to be with him every time it took over, well I would gladly accept that. However, I wondered how much he could handle. How long will it be before he can't stand what the darkness brings out in me? Will he stay with me through it all, or run for the hills when I start to go crazy. He promised he wouldn't let me fall as Anna did, and I believe that. At the same time, though, what kind of life will that lead for him. If he is always worrying about me, how can he be happy?

"Rose."

I had been so lost in my own thoughts I hadn't heard anyone approaching. "What do you want, Ivashkov?"

"I know you're mad at me. I am sorry for what I said earlier, I didn't mean to upset you," I had to give him credit, he actually looked earnest.

"How did you know?"

"You two were a little blinding the other night," he chuckled, "After the attack, I looked out the window and could see you both out on the lawn. Your aura shone as bright at the sun. I mean they have always been bright when you're together, that's how I knew you loved him, but this...this was something else. Something I had never seen before." He stopped his rambling, looking deep in thought. He did this sometimes when Spirit became too much for him.

"Adrian, are you okay?"

"Huh? Yeah, fine fine, but you...you're not."

"What do you mean?"

"Your aura, it's...it's gone."

"How can it be gone? I am here, breathing, heart beating…" I trailed, waiting for him to explain further.

"Okay, rephrase, hidden. The shadows are completely covering your personal aura."He studied me another moment before taking a seat, "How have your moods been lately," he asked, pulling his cloves from his pocket, he lit one breathing in a long drag.

"All over," that was the truth, there is just too much going on. "Between the ups of Dimitri and I, then the attack crashing everything, Eddie being taken and the whole Mason thing.." I stopped myself, not wanting to reveal more about the bizarre encounter.

"I heard about that," I gave him a questioning look, "Lissa told me you blacked out, something about the ghost overwhelming you," I left out a breath of relief.

"Yeah, but the funny thing is, I don't remember it."

"Maybe that's it."

"What?"

"Maybe whatever happened outside the wards that day caused the darkness to take over. They pulled you closer to their side. Have you had any other visit's?"

What he said actually sounded reasonable, but how? Damn, if I had a dollar for every "how" or "why" question I have come up with today I would be rich. I debated with myself, tell Adrian the truth, knowing he is probably the only person who would believe my Mason story. Or lie.

I went with the former, telling him everything. From the way Mason looked and spoke, to Eddie being turned Strigoi and Mason wanting me to go after him. Adrian sided with Dimitri, stating the impractically of attempting to track him down. After the shock wore off of him taking the side of his enemy, he pondered what the first part could mean.

"I am going to have to stand by my first theory, they pulled you closer to them. How exactly, I don't know, but you shouldn't be able to communicate with them on that level."

"Is there anywhere we can look to find answers? You guys read all those old books, have any of them mentioned something like this?"

"Not that I have found, though I haven't been looking," he stamped out his now fifth cigarette since sitting down and begin to stand, "I will see what I can find. In the meantime, try to get some rest and take care of yourself."

I watched him walk away, remaining firmly where I had been for the last two hours. It surely hadn't felt that long, but the sun position had shifted higher into the sky. If I had to guess, somewhere around eleven AM. My stomach roared as if knowing lunch time was nearing and I hadn't eaten a decent meal in days. I left Mason in search of sustenance. Picking up all of Adrian's cigarette butts and throwing them out along the way.

The rest of the day progressed slowly. After finding a meager turkey sandwich, consisting of a single thin slice of artificial turkey and two pieces of bread, I headed back to my room. Texting Dimitri to let him know where I was, I curled up under my blanket.

I woke several hours later when Dimitri climbed into the bed with me. I rolled to my other side, putting us chest to chest. "How was your day, Roza," his voice thick with exhaustion.

"Could have been better, yours," I snuggled closer, turning my head so I could hear his heartbeat.

"Very long, Alberta called me to walk the wards after guarding the commons."

With the attack, and running on daylight hours, Alberta had switched up the shifts. From sunrise to sunset, there were supposed to have two shifts, broken down into eight hours each. Then the night crew, which consisted of double the normal staff, walked the wards and buildings for all twelve hours. There was shift work involved, giving each person a chance on days and nights.

Dimitri was currently on first shift, meaning he should have only had to guard the commons area. Easy work right now, seeing how all he had to do was stand there. Though standing for eight straight hours is a feat in its own. But having to walk the wards and pull a double, on hardly any sleep- I could understand his exhaustion.

"Did you get to eat anything today?" As if to answer for him, his stomach rumbled and declared his hunger. "Dimitri?"

"I didn't have time, I am fine though, Roza."

Turning to get a look at the clock, just before eight PM. The sun would have set and the curfew enforced, so I couldn't leave to get him anything. But he could. Even though it means he would be leaving, with a slim chance of coming back, I wanted him to eat something.

"Why don't you go down to the guardian lounge, get something to eat, then go take a hot shower and get some rest."

"You kicking me out?" he chuckled.

"I don't want to, but you need to take care of yourself, you keep telling me the same thing."

"When did you start listening?"

"I have always listened, I just didn't apply all of it."

Placing a soft kiss on the tip of my nose, he then rolled out of the bed. Literally. Hitting the floor with a loud thud. We both froze on the spot, not wanting to make a sound, lest someone come to investigate. After a few moments passed with no external sounds of approaching, I let out a soft laugh, unable to hold it any longer. Dimitri shot me a glare, though not out of anger, mainly embarrassment. He is always so graceful. When he fought, you could imagine him waltzing, his moves always precise and fluid.

"Just for that, I'm staying in my room tonight."

I stopped laughing, and he started. I watched him get dressed, slowly covering the immaculate body that only I am lucky enough to see. I loved watching the way his muscles tensed and moved with each task he completed. His broad shoulders, chiseled chest, the groves of his abs, even the deep V in his hips.

"You're drooling, Roza," he smirked.

"Can you blame me?"

"Not really," he leaned forward, giving me a quick kiss before leaving the room.

"Ego."

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Chapter 3 will be up around Noon (CST).**

 **All My Love,**

 **Dream**


	4. Chapter Three

_**Chapter Three**_

 _ **Rose**_

"Rose," Liss snapped her fingers in front of my face, "Are you listening? What do you want to do for your birthday, it's less than a week away."

"I don't know, Liss," I stabbed at my eggs, "I don't really want to do anything."

That was the truth. I didn't want to even think about my birthday right now, not when so many other things -people- took precedence in my mind. Eddie. Mason. Dimitri.

Eddie who is god knows where doing god knows what. Correction, I know exactly what he is doing and the thought of it causes bile to rise in my throat. I have been battling with myself for the last week, unable to decided where to go from here.

Part of me says, ' _you need to find him, do it for Eddie, for Mason, for you'_ , then the other part says, ' _Dimitri is right, you can't chase after him. You have a duty to Lissa, to the Moroi'._ I want to tell that second part to go to hell and let me do what I need to in order to avenge my friend.

Then there is Dimitri- who bolted from my room this morning after sunrise and has yet to text or call to let me know he made it back to his room undetected. It's been two hours since he left, surely he would have let me know, or someone would have called me to Alberta's office by now had something happened.

Right?

"Rose," she scoffed, "It's your _eighteenth_ , the big _one eight_ , you _have_ to do _something!"_

"Liss, if she doesn't," Christian started but halted his statement when she shot him a death glare.

I gave Chris an appreciative smile before speaking, "Liss, really, can you chill it with the italics? I don't want anything. Please just let it go."

"But, Rose…"

"Liss, stop it. Okay," I snapped, "I don't want to celebrate, there is _nothing_ to fucking celebrate. My best friend is dead, and Eddie is.." I drew up short, stopping myself before spilling one of the hundreds of secrets leading to my not wanting a birthday party.

"Eddie is what?" Christian perked up. He, like Mia and I, had formed a bond with Eddie after Spokane, I knew his knowing the truth would hit far too close to home for him.

"He is gone too," I sighed, "Look, Liss, I appreciate it, but really, I don't want anything."

She nodded softly, and I mentally kicked myself for snapping at her. I know how she is, she gets overly excited when it comes to parties, yet another reason I didn't want her to throw one. No doubt it would be extremely huge and a waste of money.

Returning to my breakfast, I pushed my eggs around no longer feeling like I could stomach the simple food. My emotions were all over the place, and the last thing I wanted to was to pretend everything is okay.

For once, just once, I wanted to be able to show how hurt I am. Be able to let my guard down just a little and show my pain, fear, and every other damning emotion taking over my heart. But I have to be the strong one. I am training to kill vampires, there is no time for crying in my career.

Giving up on eating, I check my phone just as a message pinged through.

 _ **Comrade:**_ Meet me in the gym when you're done with breakfast.

 _ **Rose:**_ Are we training?

 _ **Comrade:**_ No

 _ **Comrade:**_ We need to talk.

My fingers hovered over the keys, incapable of forming a response just yet. Whenever those four words are spoken, 'we need to talk', it usually ends badly, so needless to say, I am panicking inside.

 _ **Rose:**_ Is everything okay?

 _ **Rose:**_ Dimitri?

 _ **Rose:**_ What's going on?

 _ **Rose:**_ Comrade!

Shoving my phone into my pocket, I left the table, not bothering to clear my tray. Lissa called after me, both mentally and verbally, but I paid her no mind, my own thoughts were spinning like a tilt-a-whirl.

He is still here, so that is a good sign. Maybe he hadn't been caught, but waking up late and fearing the worst scared him. Maybe he just wants us to take a step back, play it safe for the time being. That would be the smart thing to do, no matter how much I want to spend every night with him, wake up every morning wrapped tightly to his chest. I would give it up if it meant keeping our secret, keeping him safe.

But what if he had been caught? What if he is telling me that he is leaving? Or worse.

 _Be positive, Rose, the glass is half full not half empty. Everything is going to be okay._ I attempted to coach myself up, holding onto my prior hopes, not the what if's. However, when I opened the door to the gym, already breathing heavy from the dead sprint here, I knew we were closer to the latter than I hoped for.

Dimitri stood in the middle of the sparring ring, flanked by two women.

Alberta.

And Mom.

 _Fuck me._

Now, this can go one of several ways. The first, everyone is happy, go lucky with our situation- because what other reason would they both be here if they didn't know about Dimitri and me. Second, they could be showing mercy, allowing me to say goodbye before feeding him to a pack of Strigoi. Or- and this one I found most likely- they are about to unleash the biggest ass chewing of my life, accompanied by hauling him off to jail in the end. The fact that he is still standing here amazes me to be honest.

Deciding to throw the ball in their court, I addressed my mother, "Aren't you supposed to be in Nepal?"

"Lord Szelsky decided to stop and visit some family at Court, so I came back for a few days. Is that a crime?" her tone was playful, interesting.

"No, just a surprise," _a really fucking big one_.

Moving closer, I drew her into an awkward hug. We were still working on our relationship, having moved mountains after the Spokane incident, but we weren't quite at a comfortable level with each other yet.

"So," I drug out the word, not sure where to go from here, "What's going on?"

"I was just looking for you and ran into Guardian Belikov. He said he was waiting for you for training," she sent a kind smile in his direction, leaving me even more confused, "I needed to talk to you, but it's nothing dire, so whenever you have free time I would like to sit down with you."

"Okay," I smiled, grateful that she obviously didn't know about Dimitri and me, at least not yet.

"Well, we shall leave you to it," Mom smiled, linking her arm through Alberta's the two exited the gym.

"Fuck," I muttered, the breath I didn't know I was holding leaving my lungs in one foul swoosh.

"Roza," Dimitri chastised.

"What?" I smirked, "I was ready to have my ass chewed out, you could have warned me that they were here."

"I didn't have time, they showed up right after I texted you."

"Anyways, what did you want to talk about?"

After fearing the worst with Mom and nothing coming of it, I was optimistic about the conversation he wanted to have. Maybe today the heavens will have mercy on me and he just wants to talk about my birthday, or something equally casual.

"We can't see each other anymore."

Or maybe not.

Sticking my finger in my ear, I shook it roughly, "Sorry, say that again, I don't think I heard you right."

"We can't see each other anymore, not while you're still a student," he paused, raking his hand through his hair, "It's too great of a risk, Rose, and neither one of us can afford to get caught."

Rose. Not Roza. Did you catch that?

"What changed?"

For the last five days, we spent every night together. We would lay in bed discussing our days before slipping into the abyss wrapped in nothing but the sheets.

"Emil caught me this morning."

"What?!"

"Yeah," he moved to sit on the bench, elbows resting on his spread knees, and scratched at the scruff on his jaw, "He was making his rounds when I left from the back door. My boots weren't tied, my shirt was wrinkled because I threw it on the floor last night," he was really tired yesterday, Alberta had him work another double, and then gave him today off. "And it doesn't take a rocket scientist to put two and two together to know whose room I was leaving."

"So.. is this just until graduation, or…"

"I don't know," his shoulders shrugged, "I don't want it to be forever, but for now this is how it has to be. Hopefully, once we are at Court we can figure something out."

"Is he going to say anything, to Alberta?" Emil is a quiet person, honestly, I can't believe he even said anything to Dimitri in the first place.

"No, he said it's not his place, but if he were me, he would put a pause on everything until you were out of school, or at the bare minimum, of age."

"Age of consent in Missouri is sixteen, Comrade."

"You're still a child, Rose, eighteen is the legal age of adulthood, that is what matters to _them_."

"Funny how I am only a child when it hinders you, and not when you are ball…" I paused, drawing a deep breath, "You know what, nevermind, I get it." I crossed my arms over my chest, protecting my heart, "I'll see you around, Guardian Belikov."

I wasn't mad that he wanted to take a step back, as I said before, I would do whatever I had to in order to keep him in the clear. I didn't want our relationship to disrupt his, or my career. I could, however, deal without the age comments. No matter the argument it always comes down to age for him.

Granted, I understand I am technically not an 'adult' to the world, but what really constitutes adulthood nowadays?

I have lived out in the human world with only my best friend -at the age of 15 mind you-, watched Mason die right in front of me, and participated in the largest attack our school has ever seen. Yet, I am still a ' _kid',_ how does that make any sense?

"Rose, come on," Dimitri stood, reaching toward me.

I backed away, putting both hands up to stop him, "No, I am tired of you using my age against me, it's not like I can help it." I turned on my heel and headed toward the door.

"Rose, wait."

I didn't turn around, there was no hesitation in my stride as I continued out of the gym. I realize walking away from him will most likely seem like a childish thing to do- no doubt that is how he will see it- however, in my mind, I am leaving before I say something I will later regret.

Keeping my head down, in a pitiful attempt to conceal my emotions, I made my way toward the Admin building. Moms sudden reappearance left me on edge, the unknown far to great when it comes to her, so I prefer to get this out of the way sooner rather than later.

Raising my hand to knock, I blinked back the tears and waited to be called. Dimitri and I rarely fight, other than in the gym, and I absolutely hate it when it happens. I know he loves me, and once we are free from here things will get easier, but I am left wondering, will it? Will being outside of the Academy really make a difference? No matter when or where we come out, it will be frowned upon by our people. At that point, age will be the least of our worries.

"Rose," Mom stood in the opening of Alberta's office, her expression concerned, "Are you okay, we called for you to come in three times?"

"Yeah, fine, just thinking and must not have heard you," giving her a weak smile I scooted in through the gap, "So, what was it you needed to talk to me about?"

Bouncing toward Alberta's desk- yes, she actually bounced- Alberta handed her a box with a bow and a large manila folder.

"Since I have to head back the day after tomorrow, I wanted to give you this now," I took the box from her first, "that is from me."

Lifting the lid I almost dropped the box, "Mom," I looked up to her with wide eyes.

Her lips turned upward causing wrinkles to form in the corner of her eyes, "They belonged to my mother, I've held on to them for her to give to you, she would have been proud of the woman you grew up to be."

Tears pricked at the back of my eyes, my Grandmother left her stakes for me. I don't remember ever meeting her, but the small tattered photo on the lid of the box says she was apart of my infant years. Running my fingers over the tiny baby in the middle-aged woman's arms I felt an overwhelming sense of love. It was as if my heart swelled in my chest knowing that even if I can't remember her, she cared for me, loved me enough to pass down a Guardians most prized possession.

"I had them re-charmed while I was at Court, but you are not to wear or use them until you graduate," her tone switched to serious, causing me to chuckle.

"Yes Ma'am," I laughed, giving her a two finger salute, "Thank you, Mom."

"You are most welcome, Rosemarie," drawing me into a tight hug, she whispered, "I love you."

"I love you too, Mom."

When we pulled apart after over a minute, we were both crying, "Do you think, maybe someday, you could tell me more about Grandma?"

"I would love too," she wiped her eyes, "Now, onto the next," picking up the envelope she held it to her chest, "This isn't from me, and I won't tell you who it is from, but you can not open this until your Birthday, understood?"

 _Not likely,_ not telling me who it is from just makes me want to open it now, not in four days, "Of course."

"I am serious, Rosemarie, there are many reasons why, but I need you to trust me, or I can leave it with Alberta to give to you on Friday."

"I promise, scouts honor," I held up my right hand, signaling my promise, "Can you tell me anything about it?"

"Not really, only know that you should be alone while looking through it, the information inside is only meant for you."

I ran my fingers across the seal, curiosity already swimming through my mind. The packet is thick, but there was no outline or pattern I could feel below the cover. It's obviously documents of some sort, but what? And who could it be from?

"Well, alright then."

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Next update will be Sunday!**

 **I hope you are all falling back in love with this story, I have been working really hard to make it perfect this time around.**

 **As always, leave your thoughts, and thank you to those who have faved/followed/reviewed so far.**

 **All My Love,**

 **Dream**


	5. Chapter Four

_**Chapter Four**_

 _ **Dimitri**_

I don't believe there is a word in the English or Russian language, that can describe this feeling in my chest.

It's crushing, yet uplifting. Painful, yet pleasurable. Hollow, yet full. I don't freaking get it.

How can one person, one woman, make me feel like I am walking on air, yet drowning in a sea of fear all at the same time?

I have not had the best luck when it comes to love. Growing up with the example of my father, who claimed to love Mama more than life, didn't give me a sturdy foundation to understand the emotion. After he left, I saw the change in Mama, therefore, began to learn and comprehend the vast feeling of love.

I thought I had found it with Alex, she was the sun, the moon, and the stars. She brightened my every day, making me smile for reasons I still don't know. And just like with Roza, I got scared, pushed her away, and told her I didn't love her anymore. At first, I was okay with the choice, I believed it was the right thing to do. That is until I saw her with my cousin, and I had never regretted a decision more. Well, at least not until now.

The moment I walked out the back door and ran face first into Emil, reality set in. What I am doing is wrong _-yet feels so damn right-_ on far too many levels, and I had to be the bigger person and put a stop to it. We're guardians, servants to the Moroi, we don't have minds of our own. Hearts. Feelings. Or that is what they want us to think, rather. _They Come First._ Our Mantra, our Oath, we live and die for them. It is all I have ever known, which is exactly why I have to push away the person who challenges that belief.

Rose Hathaway is something I never saw coming. She is a spitfire. Reckless and dangerous, in far more ways than just fighting. Driven, passionate, and let me not forget- _not that I could if I tried_ \- drop dead gorgeous. From her deep brown silk hair that flows like the ocean's waves, to her soulful chocolate eyes that speak louder than her voice ever could. Those heart-shaped lips that beg for me to kiss them- hard and deep- and her soft curves that mold to my body perfectly. Most importantly, that fleshy muscle in the center of her chest, her heart of gold she wears on her sleeve. She holds so much love for her friends, for me, and will go above and beyond to make sure they are happy.

She is the best thing I never knew I needed.

And I am terrified that our love will cost one or both of our lives- for there is no doubt in my mind, she will _always_ come first to me. And that can't happen.

I could never live with myself if something happened to Vasilisa because I put Rose's life before hers. Not to mention, Rose would hate me for picking her over Lissa anyways. And God forbid Rose had to make the choice. I pray she would choose Lissa, just so she wouldn't have to live with the guilt, but I doubt either choice would leave her happy in the end. The only way to make sure she or I never have to choose is to keep us from ever being in a situation that it could happen.

Much easier said than done though. Because even now, when she only left a few moments ago, I want to run after her and tell her I love her. I want to hold onto her so damn tight she can't breathe because, without her, I can't. In my heart, I don't want to walk away, but my head is currently winning the battle of wills, and I feel like I am being sawed in two.

"Belikov."

Adrian's voice pulled me back to the here and now, "What is it, Lord Ivashkov?"

"I just saw Rose leaving," he looked back toward the door for a moment, his hand running through his hair, "what happened?" he turned back toward me, concern showing on his face.

"What does it matter to you," I rose my brow. It's not unknown that I do not care for the Royal asshat, and I know he is looking for any chance he can to swoop in under me and steal Roza away. No doubt he is going to try and capitalize on our current situation.

"Listen, Cradle Robber, I could give two shits less about your secret love affair, but she is already carrying enough darkness and I don't need you making it worse before I can figure out how to make it better!"

"What are you talking about?" pleasantries vanished, not that I had much toward Adrian, to begin with.

"She didn't tell you?" his lip twitched upward, brows rising in surprise.

"Tell me what?"

He tapped his temple, "I can't see her aura anymore, well, I can it's just not her's, or not her normal one. It's something different, something I have never seen in anyone."

"Okay…." I drug out the word, "none of that really made any sense."

"Do you know what _auras_ are?" I gave a small nod, I knew the basics but not much more than that, "Okay, so you know they are specific to people since Rose is Shadow-Kissed, hers is ringed in black. She carries the darkness from Lissa's spirit use, you following?"

"Yes, I already knew that it's what damn near drove her over the edge just a week ago."

"Yeah, yeah, and I know what happened that same night too," he smirked, I opened my mouth to question him, but he cut me off, " _auras_ they tell me a lot, and Rose's right now is telling me something is very wrong," he paused, building suspense or whatever he was attempting to do, it pissed me off. Making a motion with my hand, I told him to continue, "It's gone, Dimitri, completely hidden in the shadows, I can't see it anymore."

"If you know it's the shadows from the Princess, why ask if about _us_?"

"I saw grey blotches in it, grey typically means someone is depressed, and it was as if the darkness was feeding off of the negativity, making it stronger."

Cue the guilt-ridden feeling expanding in my chest.

How was I to know something was amiss with Roza? I have spent every day with her, and other than the despair she has been feeling for Eddie- which is understandable- I have noticed no change. No anger. No sadness. Nothing. Yet, Adrian and his spirit wielding ways tell me she is hurting, clouded in darkness, and I just made it worse.

"You did do something?" Adrian smirked, his eyebrow-raising slightly, as his eyes searched the area around my body.

"Stop it," I growled, not liking his ability to read me as well as Rose. "It's none of your business."

"Maybe not, but if it's hurting Rose, then I care. Fix it, and I'm trying to figure out how to get rid of some of her darkness."

"Why do you care?" I yelled, stopping him from opening the door to the gym, "You know she is never going to choose you, so why?" Is that a low blow? Maybe, but I want him to know where her heart lies- right next to mine. _Not if you keep pushing her away,_ a small voice rose in the back on my mind- to which I promptly told it to shut the hell up.

"I am well aware," he scoffed, "but there is something about her I can't figure out. It may be the fact that she is Shadow-Kissed, it may be something in her own personality that makes her shine in a way I have never witnessed. Whatever it is, I want to know and I want to see it again because right now that isn't happening."

Without another word, he left, leaving me to contemplate the new information. My heart screamed ' _Go after her, you idiot!'_ But my head reminded me yet again that I pushed her away and I doubt she would talk to me. Running a hand through my hair, I drew a deep breath and held it for several seconds. It may not be smart to run after her at this moment, but I can text her and pray she answers.

 _ **D**_ _ **imitri:**_ I know you are mad at me, and I am sorry

 _ **D**_ _ **imitri:**_ But just out of curiosity, how have you been feeling lately?

She didn't answer right away, leaving me anxious. After almost thirty minutes of pacing the gym, my phone chimed with her response.

 _ **Roza:**_ You know curiosity killed the cat, right?

 _ **Roza:**_ And do you mean before or after our 'talk' this morning?

 _ **Dimitri:**_ Both.

 _ **Roza:**_ Before….I was fine. Now...well I have been better, but it will pass.

 _ **Dimitri:**_ Fine? No bouts of anger, sadness?

 _ **Roza:**_ Yeah, you know, considering Eddie is running around as an undead monster

 _ **Roza:**_ Liss is trying to force me to celebrate a day I would rather forget about

 _ **Roza:**_ and my boyfriend just told me I was a child and he couldn't be with me for the next two and a half months…

 _ **Roza:**_ Like I said. I am fine.

 _ **Roza:**_ It's probably better if we don't text right now either. Wouldn't want anyone seeing the threads.

 _ **Roza:**_ That would be pretty damning, don't you think?

She is right, which is why I don't store any of our conversations on my phone. I send her what I want, or need, and I delete them at the end of the night.

 _ **Roza:**_ so, before I delete all of these, and you should too, know that I love you, Comrade. I hate that we have to do this, and I wish I was a few years older and it didn't matter so much, but it is what it is.

 _ **Dimitri:**_ I love you, too, Roza.

Holding my finger on our conversation, I press the trash can icon and watch the thread disappear. I have done this several times over the last six months, only this time I felt a gaping hole take up residence in my chest. Her last message left me feeling uneasy like she was up to something and I wasn't a part of it.

Shaking off the feeling, I left the gym in search of lunch. Being off shift today there was nothing to do but wander aimlessly around campus. I had three more day shifts left before starting my night runs, so I might as well soak up the sunshine while I can.

Making my way through the Guardians Lounge, I picked up a turkey sandwich, two apples, and a bottle of water, stuffing the contents into my duster pockets and headed toward the far west side of campus.

Most students and even some of the new faculty didn't know about the hideaway at the rear of the campus. I had only discovered it recently on a patrol that took me just outside of the wards. Roughly fifty yards from the edge of campus is a butte that overlooked several mountains. This time of day, and being on the west, the sun would be constant and beautiful. Strigoi numbers have decreased in the area since the attack, thankfully, but one can never be too cautious with them. As long as I am back behind the wards by sunset, I would be safe.

Setting myself up against the rock wall, I breathed in the fresh mountain air and relaxed into my novel. Though the words of _Charles Portis_ didn't hold my attention like they normally do. Instead, Adrian's words played through my mind.

Roza is surrounded with shadows, and knowing what happened the last time the darkness took over, I feared the worst. _But she seems fine,_ a small voice sounded in the back of my mind. She really did appear as if she is doing okay. She is always smiling, though thinking about it, it has seemed a bit forced at times. But she has been laughing too, and it always sounds rich and beautiful, never deceitful.

Then there is the Mason thing. That is what scared me the most. She said she could see him as if he was still alive, and I know for a fact he is not. She spoke to him, a real conversation with information shared that couldn't have come from anyone or anywhere else. How did she do that? Exactly how many shadows does it take to be able to communicate with the dead?

And, of course, I have no answers to those questions.

* * *

The next three days passed in pure agony. Not seeing Roza, other than in passing in the commons, and sleeping in my own bed again, I wanted to say screw everything and go to her. I missed her warm body wrapped around mine. Waking up to her bright eyes and birdnest of hair, the feeling of her lips peppering kisses on my chest to rouse me.

It's funny before we decided to stop denying our feelings, I couldn't pay her to be on time to training or classes. Now, she wakes before I do. I was never one to sleep well, always waking through the night for no reason in particular, but with her, I slept like a child.

Tossing once more, I was just about to give up on sleeping again tonight, but my phone ringing did that for me. Turning on the bedside light, I answered immediately when I saw who was calling.

"Guardian Petrov, is everything alright?"

"It's Rose…."

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Thank you for all the faves/follows/reviews, I really appreciate the feedback and love.**

 **Question for the Update: What are your New Year's plans? Any Resolutions?**

 **Since this is already up, I will most likely be spending the latter part of the evening reading a new book and drinking hot coffee. I have to work the next morning, so there will be no late night drinking, hahaha.**

 **Much Love, and Happy New Year!**

 **Dream**


	6. Chapter Five

_**Surprise Update: Happy New Year Everyone!**_

 _ **DEAR GUEST (and anyone else who is wondering the story behind Alex): Check out my story 'Collection of Songfics' the last chapter 'Break Up In A Small Town' for the explanation. You can thank 'THECOFFEESHOPMUSE' for her existence!**_

* * *

 _ **Chapter Five**_

 _ **Rose**_

 _Rose._

"Mason!" I bolted upright in bed, my hand covering my heart as if it would settle the erratic beat. A thin layer of sweat covered my face and arms, the hairs there standing on end as I recounted the images of my nightmare.

Deadly red eyes, the wicked smile on his lips as he gripped Mason's head between his hands. A sickening crack followed by the thud of his lifeless body landing at my feet. Looking back up, I expected to see Isaiah's face, only it wasn't him.

It was Eddie.

 _Just a dream. Just a dream_. I repeated over and over again attempting to draw myself back from the darkness I had succumbed to in my sleep. Over the last few days, since Dimitri started sleeping in his room again, I have had variations of the same nightmare. Spokane. No matter what I did- drinking hot tea before bed, listening to my _Comrade_ playlist, full of the '80s and country love songs, or texting and dream walking with Adrian, nothing helped. The moment my mind was free of distraction, I saw him.

 _Rose! Wake up damn it and come here!_

His call rang loud and clear through my ears, my head spinning in the direction of my window. Pulling the curtains back, I looked out to the ward line that laid just over a hundred yards from the building. Mason stood there in full form, eyes locked onto mine, beckoning me forward with a wave of his arm. Locating my hoodie and shoes, I dashed out of the back door and toward the edge of campus.

"What is it? What's going on?" I huffed out, my breath creating small white clouds in the cold night air.

 _I found him._ His smile mimicked that of a child on Christmas morning, bright and beautiful.

"Where?"

 _Seattle._

"Washington? Why would he go there?" I blinked a few times. Eddie has no ties to anyone, or anything, in Washington, so why would that be the place he found a home? And how could he still be so close? It's been a little over a week since the attack, he should have gone halfway around the world to hide away, not next door. It is just over an hour flight, or about eight hours drive from the Academy.

 _I don't know, but he is there. A few of the Strigoi that were involved with the attack is with him, maybe he chose to follow their lead._

"Probably," I mumbled, processing the new intel.

Now knowing where he is, I could go after him. I wouldn't be chasing a ghost, as Dimitri put it, I would be able to track him once I made it to the city. Strigoi are not the brightest crayons in the box, surely drawing them out would be a cake walk.

 _Are you going to go? I can see the wheels turning in your head._ Mase laughed.

"I want to, but there is one small problem," I sighed, "Even if I get out of the Academy, there is still the matter of getting to Seattle. I don't have money for a bus ticket or flight. _"_

Mason opened his mouth, but a booming Russian accent stopped him from his next statement. "Hathaway, what do you think you are doing?"

 _Shit_. When he calls me by my last name, I know I am in hot water. "Hey Comrade, just testing dorm security, per the usual, you guys really need to step up your game," I laughed him off. Things are still awkward between us, but right now I needed to play my part.

"Get over here, _now_ ," he growled, low and menacing, a tone he has never used on me before.

"What's wrong with you," I snapped, shooting Mason a _'fuck me'_ look, to which he answered with a laugh, _The offer to haunt him still stands, Rosie._

I shook my head and suppressed my smile as I made my way back across the ward line to stand in front of him.

"Someone saw you outside of the wards and called Alberta, she called me, she thought you might be trying to leave campus, again," his eyes shone with anger, and a hint of fear. "Why are you out here, don't you know how dangerous it is to be outside of the wards, at night no less?"

"Of course I know," even if that thought hadn't really crossed my mind until just now, "but it was important, I had to talk to Mason."

"Rose," his voice deepened. Stepping forward, he put his hands on my shoulders, squeezing them gently, "You can't keep doing this. I know it's hard to let him go, but you have too. Not only because you have to leave campus to see him, but the darkness.."

I cut him off, "Don't."

"Rose."

"No. I am not ready to let him go, and I know how much darkness I am carrying, and I will handle it. I need Mason to help me find Eddie, so no, I am not letting go yet."

"Your back to that," he mumbled, his hands falling back to his sides, "You really think you can just run off and hunt him down without there being consequences?"

"I wasn't exactly planning to 'just run off'," my voice lowered into a growl, "I hadn't thought it out yet, but I will."

"No, Rose, you can't. You have to understand that you can't save everyone. Eddie is gone, it's time you accepted that. Mason, too."

"Are you ever going to stop telling me what to do?"

"Maybe if you acted like an adult, I wouldn't have too."

I recoiled from his statement, staring up at him with wide eyes. It wasn't so much the words that hurt me the most -seeing how I have heard them numerous times in the past- it was his tone. The low rasp of his voice that rolled through my ears as if he had screamed them at me.

The sound of disappointment.

Dragging his large hand over his face, he sighed deeply, "Rose, I'm sorry, I didn't mean..." I threw my hand up, cutting off his melancholy apology.

"Yeah, you never do. Good Night, Guardian Belikov," I whispered, stepping around him I headed back to my room.

Once back in my room, I sent a single text to Adrian, 'Dream walk? Half an hour.'

Tossing and turning, I tried my damnedest to get back to sleep, but anger and fear kept me from falling back into the black abyss. Anger at Dimitri for always making me feel like a child. Okay- not always, but when it really matters. And fear of seeing him again. Eddie. His beautiful hazel eyes ringed in red. His tanned skin that I envied paper white, sickly looking. And when he smiles, I can see his fangs. Deadly tips that had never been there before, dripping with the blood of an innocent person who was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

 _*chirp*_

Scrubbing my hands over my face, I picked up my phone, a text from Adrian waiting for me.

 _ **Adrian:**_ Are you still awake?

 _ **Rose:**_ Yeah. Having a bit of trouble falling back asleep.

 _ **Adrian:**_ Nightmares again?

 _ **Rose:**_ Yup, and then some.

 _ **Adrian:**_ Facetime?

Pressing the button, I turned on my bedside light, setting my phone up against the lamp so I could remain laying down. Staring at my reflection on the screen I was shocked to see just how bad I looked. Why didn't anyone tell me I looked like a member of the 'Walking Dead'? My eyes were dark and heavy with bags, my skin paler than normal despite being on human time and out when the sun is up. And my hair was currently twisted into a messy bun on top my head, resembling a bird's nest with artistic perfection.

 _Little Dhampir,_ Adrian whispered, I hadn't even noticed his face take over the screen, _Why are you crying? Was it that bad?_

Bringing my hand to my face, I found my cheeks wet. Wiping away the moisture, I drew a deep calming breath before filling him in on the dream, my talk with Mason, and Dimitri's lashing that followed. He listened intently, nodding along, or scoffing where appropriate.

 _I don't agree with him putting you down like that, but he is right to a point Rose, you can't save everyone._

"I'm not trying to save everyone, just Eddie."

 _You know what I mean._ He rolled his eyes, a smirk playing at his lips. _One of the things that I love so much about you is how much you care for your friends. You would do anything to help them, protect them, it's admirable._

"Why do I feel a _but_ coming?"

 _Because there is one,_ he laughed, _sometimes things happen that we can't control, and we have to accept the fact that there is nothing we can do. It doesn't make you a bad person, or anything, it just means you are human._

"I can do something though, so your point is invalid. I know where he is, and I sure as hell know how to kill him. I just need to find a way to get there, and then this will all be over."

Adrian looked off screen, his hand going behind his neck, squeezing tightly. _Nothing I say is going to stop you, will it?_

I shook my head, "I have to. I can't explain it, but I know that I am the one who has to do this."

Turning his head to the ceiling, he drew a deep breath, then swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing, O _kay, then I am going with you._

"No," I shook my head slowly, my voice stern, "There is no way in hell I would risk your life."

 _But risking yours is okay?_ He rose his brow.

"Yeah, I am a Guardian, it's what I do."

 _It's non-negotiable, Little Dhampir. If you want to go, you need money and means, I have both. But I am coming with you, like it or not. That's my only offer._

Pulling my bottom lip between my teeth, I watched his unwavering expression. He was firm, determined, and damn it- I couldn't say no. I could let him get me out of the Academy and to Seattle, once there, ditch him and go out on my own. If he couldn't find me, he would return to St. Vlad's, or Court, either would be better than running around the streets with me. Or he would call Dimitri and Alberta, who would surely track me down just like he had in Portland, dragging me back to the Academy, kicking and screaming.

 _What do you say, Little Dhampir, are we taking a trip?_

"On one condition," I sat up, picking up my phone to hold it out in front of me now. He made a motion with his hand, saying _lay it on me,_ "I need a few things, and when we get there, you don't go anywhere near a Strigoi. You stay at the hotel, or wherever, but you _stay away from the fight_."

 _Done. Send me a list of what you need, I can have it here in hours._

A look at the clock showed after midnight, if he could somehow get everything by sunrise, we could leave just after. And since it was only an hour flight, we could be in Washington by mid-morning.

"Alright, I'll have it to you soon, thanks, Adrian."

 _My pleasure,_ He flashed me a crooked smile and disconnected the call. Falling back onto the bed, I watched the shadows dance across the ceiling. In a few hours, hopefully, I would begin my quest to hunt down one of my oldest, dearest friends, my brother for all intents and purposes. Am I really ready for this?

 _*Chirp*_

 _*Chirp*_

 _*Chirp*_

Damn. I grabbed my phone, seeing three new texts from Dimitri.

 _ **Comrade:**_ Rose, I am sorry, I didn't mean to say that.

 _ **Comrade:**_ I love you.

 _ **Comrade:**_ and Happy Birthday.

I willed myself not to respond, letting him believe I had fallen back asleep. Since he doesn't have an iPhone, he wouldn't see that I had read the messages already. It would be better for him to think, for the time being, that I am just upset with him. Hopefully, it will keep him at bay just long enough for Adrian and me to leave campus.

Opening up my text to Adrian, I sent him a list of the necessary items, ranking them in order from most important, 'must have', too 'we could do without but it wouldn't hurt'. Cash, clothes, hotel accommodations, first aid kits- just in case- and fake IDs being at the top. Ending with prepaid non-traceable cell phones, Bluetooth earpieces, LED flashlights, iWatches, and a few other handy gadgets. They weren't something we couldn't go without, but it would make things easier.

 _ **Adrian:**_ Anything else?

 _ **Rose:**_ Not that I can think of right now. If we come across something else, we can buy it later.

 _ **Adrian:**_ How much cash do you think we will need?

My foot tapped the floor, exactly how much money would this adventure cost? Ten. Twenty. Fifty thousand? Depending on how long it took us to find him, the cost of the hotel- knowing Adrian wouldn't stay somewhere cheap- and all of the equipment. Add in the cost of food, transportation, and his cigarettes, this could get quite expensive.

 _ **Rose:**_ I'm not sure, I would double what you think the cost of a month in a hotel would be, that should be plenty.

 _ **Adrian:**_ The hotel is roughly 28k, should I just get 60 to be safe?

 _ **Adrian:**_ Rose?

 _ **Adrian:**_ I'm on the phone with the bank, I need to know.

 _ **Adrian:**_ Okay, 60 it is.

 _ **Rose:**_ ADRIAN WAIT

 _ **Adrian:**_ …

 _ **Adrian:**_ I'm waiting….

Finally getting my heart to beat again,

 _ **Rose:**_ Why are you paying 30 thousand dollars for a hotel?

 _ **Rose:**_ Is there not a Marriott available?

 _ **Rose:**_ Or hell, a Best Western?

 _ **Adrian:**_ *Scoffs in offense* Like I could be caught dead at a Best Western. No. If we are living on the run, we are living in Luxury.

 _ **Adrian:**_ Besides, the Four Seasons is Moroi owned, they have feeders on site.

 _ **Adrian:**_ and wards.

 _ **Adrian:**_ I am good for it, Little Dhampir, no worries, 'kay.

Pressing my palm to my forehead, I leaned back to stare at the ceiling, silently asking myself,

 _What in the hell have I gotten myself into?_

* * *

 _ **Author's Note:**_

 **Did you know, that a BASIC room at the 'Four Seasons' is over 500 a night? And an Elite Room- one with a view- is almost a thousand?**

 **I guess I am a broke trick cause I about lost my cookies when I saw that. Who in the hell, other than famous people, would spend that much money on a hotel for a night?**

 **I am gonna take my happy self to a Days Inn, or Motel 6 for less than 100 a night. hahaha.**

 **Anyway, thank you for all the reviews/faves/follows- you guys are awesome!**

 **Question for this Update: What are looking forward to most this year?**

 **For me, I am taking a Cruise** _-shocking right-_ **with my Mama and Sister in November. We booked it almost immediately after we got home from our first ever Girls Cruise last April, and decided we need to make it a tradition. This one is going to be amazing because we have a Havana Suite booked- meaning we have our own pool area, bar, and its deathly silent at night.**

 **I hope you have all enjoyed this update, leave your thoughts on the way out. They are really one of the only reasons I keep writing these.**

 **All My Love,**

 **Dream**


	7. Chapter Six

_**Chapter Six**_

 _ **Rose**_

Stakes. Check.

Phone- sitting on the nightstand, battery removed, sim card taken out. Check.

Backpack with minor necessities- a couple changes of clothes, my _Nazar_ and _chotki_ hidden away in the small inner pocket, safe. And the folder Mom had given me. Check.

With one last look around my room, I triple checked that everything was in order. My bed was made with military precision- something Dimitri would be happy about. My school books, laptop and training folders laid stacked neatly on my study desk, and all of the laundries had been put away. Not a hair out of place. Perfect.

Setting the small piece of paper on my pillow, only two words on the page, I turned out the lights and locked the door behind me.

"Hey Rose, heading down for training," Meredith smiled brightly at me.

"Yup, no rest for the wicked, right," I laughed.

Her head tilted to the side, taking in my full form. I wore my leather jacket, and a tight fit pair of jeans. Not my normal training gear, and I could see she was picking up on that.

"Well, I better get going, Belikov hates it when I'm late, have a good day," I scooted around her, descending the stairs at a rapid rate, I left out the back door, heading straight for the cabin.

After talking with Adrian a bit more last night, I spent the rest of the night thinking about everything I am leaving behind this time around. When I fled the Academy years ago, it was to protect Lissa. Now, I am abandoning her. And surprisingly- or maybe not really- I only feel a smidge of guilt for that.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love Liss. She is my best friend, my sister, and my Moroi, but ever since we returned things have been… what's the word I am looking for, strained. She has been so wrapped up in Chris, which I will admit- the fire fuck has grown on me- but she is seeing me more as her Guardian, not her friend.

I guess it was bound to happen at some point, it's the way it goes in our world. Dhampirs are the protectors, nothing more, though certainly less. We are expendable, replaceable, and that is all there is to it. We aren't meant to fall in love, have lives outside of our charges, or minds of our own.

The more I thought about leaving her, the more I hurt over leaving him. The pain of leaving Dimitri is astronomical compared to what I feel for Lissa. And I don't know exactly how to process this feeling expanding in my chest like a balloon. But I knew I couldn't leave without telling him why. If anyone deserved an explanation, it's him.

 _Rose. Rose, if you can hear me, come over for breakfast!_ Lissa called through the bond.

Shaking my head, I did my best to put my barriers up. I couldn't take hearing her continually calling for me, knowing I had no intention of answering. Adrian was already off campus, waiting in a car a few miles down the road. I had no time to spare for celebrations - _especially not one that I didn't want in the first place_. Hell, I didn't even have time for the pit-stop at the cabin, but I couldn't avoid that.

Picking up my pace, the old Guardian post finally came into view. Climbing the two steps, I opened the door and waited for a second letting my eyes to adjust to the darkness inside. With all the trees and the curtains drawn, the room held no light. Walking in, I went straight to the bed, bypassing the small table on the left, and the fireplace that still held a few burnt logs on the right.

"Rose."

" _Shit,"_ I almost jumped out of my skin, my heart slamming against my ribs. Dimitri's large frame leaned against the wall beside the door, his hands shoved in his pockets, "What are you doing!?"

"I am wondering the same thing about you." Pushing off the wall, he stepped in front of me, crossing the space between us in two long strides. His eyes locked on to mind, the depths of chocolate riveting me. "Did you get my messages?" I nodded softly. "I really am sorry, Rose, I …"

"You don't have to explain it, I know," my voice was below a whisper, my resolve to leave diminishing by the second. How does he do that? How is it that one look from him and I feel butterflies take flight in my stomach? I feel the energy in the air shift, sending a tingling sensation down my spine. How can one man alter everything in my universe?

I moved away from his captivating stare, sitting on the edge of the bed. Dimitri ran a hand through his hair, a deep sigh passing his lips as he started pacing the small space. Slipping the letter from my jacket, I slid it under the lip of the quilt, just in time for him to turn back around.

"So, what are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to be away from everyone," I shrugged, "today isn't quite what I pictured it to be."

I had always envisioned my 18th as something magical. The day I became an adult and had a bit more freedom. All of my friends gathered around, eating box after box of pizza and destroying a vanilla cake with buttercream frosting- _yum._ Playing a game of billiards with Mase as we used to in middle school. Or staying up all night with Lissa watching Rom-Com's- crying over the grand romantic gesture that they all end with, then laughing because were crying, and crying more for laughing too hard. But none of that is going to happen.

Mason isn't here.

Eddie isn't here.

And Lissa- though she is waiting for me to show up for our yearly breakfast in bed- has no idea how torn I am over everything. Mainly because she doesn't know about half of it. And that is my fault.

"Is there anything I can do," he came to squat in front of me, his hands resting on my knees, a look of sincerity in his eyes.

 _Run away with me-_ that's what I wanted to say. I wanted to tell him to come with me, leave this world and it's backward ways behind. To take a leap of faith and walk down the unpaved road that would lead to our forever. A forever where we didn't have to hide our feelings. Where we could go out on the weekend for dinner and a movie, stroll through the park at dusk, watching the way the moonlight shines across the field, or through the trees.

Hell, I would settle for being able to kiss him without worrying that someone is going to see. But that is not a future we can have, it's a dream -a fairytale- and I am no Cinderella.

I shook my head slowly, "No, but," I paused to draw a deep breath, building my resolve to leave back up, "I think we should break up."

He blinked a few times, eyebrows raising in surprise, "Why?"

"Dimitri, let's be honest with ourselves, this," I waved a finger between the two of us, "isn't going to last, we can't make it work. You know it, I know you do, between the age difference, the backlash from everyone, we are setting ourselves up for failure."

"Besides, we are always going to come second to our jobs, _they come first,_ and I don't want to be second best. I don't want to have to worry about choosing between you or her. I think it's best to just end it all now, go our separate ways and forget about what we had."

I am pretty sure I just drove a stake through his heart and pulled it out to stab my own. His mask was completely gone, I have never seen such a look of hurt from him, and to be the reason it's there…. I wanted to crawl in a hole and stay there for doing this to him.

 _It will be better in the long run, Rose, don't fold, don't let up._

"Roza," my heart cracked along with his voice, he hasn't called me Roza since our talk in the gym four days ago, "are you sure this is what you want?" his eyes begged me to assure him, but I couldn't.

I wanted too, God- did I want too. To tell him I am an idiot and I love him more than anything on this earth, but once he found out what I was up to, he wouldn't love me anymore. He would call it another immature act and be disappointed in me. I can handle many things, but not that.

And in the end, the fact of the matter remained, I am leaving- and I have no intention of returning. I don't want this life anymore. I don't want to worry if tomorrow will come. I don't want to spend my life serving ungrateful people. And I sure as hell don't want to live in a society that dictates who I can and can not love. I want to do something meaningful with my life. I can't do that here. Not the way I dream at least.

"I'm sorry, Dimitri," I held his eyes for a moment, burning the chocolate depths into my memory, before looking over his full frame. Slowly I dragged my eyes down his body, drinking in his features. His broad shoulders, muscular arms, the defined pecks, and abs that laid under his white cotton T-shirt, and his toned powerful thighs and legs. Bringing my eyes back up, locking onto his one more time.

I could see that he didn't want me to walk away, and I would be lying if I said I wanted too. But I knew in order for him to have the life he has worked so diligently for, one of us needed to go. I was the better choice. Eddie needs me. And I know he will take care of Lissa.

"I'm sorry," I whispered and turned toward the door.

Two words. The same two words I left written on the piece of paper on my bed. The same words I wrote in the letter I left for him- tucked under the lip of the quilt on the bed behind him.

I can only pray and hope that in those words he sees what I am I trying to say. That I love him more than my own life, and for him to have the life he has worked so diligently for, I had to go. That I will always care for him, no matter how far I go, or how much time passes until I see him again- if I see him- I will always hold love for him in my heart.

"Roza, Я люблю тебя," his voice hardly a whisper, thick with tears.

I paused, my hand gripping the doorknob tightly. _I love you, too, more than you will ever know._ That's what I should say. I need to tell him, one last time how much he means to me. But for one reason or another, I squeeze my eyes shut, pull the door open, and speak my final words to him

"Love fades, Comrade."

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Happy Hump Day! Yep Yep!**

 **Hope everyone is having a wonderful week so far.**

 **Question for this update: When you are in a book slump, what is your go to, to get out of it?**

 ***other than VA of course***

 **Mine would be, the PERFECT duet, by Meghan Quinn- you can see a review for it (as well as the BLUE LINE duet) on my facebook.**

 **All My Love, Until Next Time,**

 **Dream**


	8. Chapter Seven

**_Chapter Seven_**

 ** _Dimitri_**

 _Love Fades._

Those words have been on constant repeat in my head.

Gripping the sides of my sink, I leaned into the mirror, taking in the reflection of pain in my eyes. Heavy bags, accompanied by dark circles, rested just below the hollow bloodshot brown depths. No 'Guardian Mask' is enough to hide the pure anguish I am feeling right now.

I know I pushed her away, in retrospect, those words are exactly what I hoped she would say. I needed her to walk away, so she could focus on her future, on Lissa and graduating. So why does it feel like she pried open my chest cavity, ripped my heart out, and put it in a blender on puree?

 _Love Fades._

The moment those words left her mouth I wanted to take it all back. I wanted to travel back in time and redo the last three weeks- starting with the Cabin. I would say I would have stopped myself from robbing her of her innocence, but that would be a lie. I do not, and will not, regret being with her that way. Connecting with her on that level, God- it was indescribable. The way her body fit with mine, the taste of her flesh, the fire in her eyes. I would never undo that moment - _ever_.

I would, however, make sure that she understood why we couldn't be together again while we were still here. I would sit down with her, talk to her like a partner should, instead of pushing her away thinking I am doing what is best for her. I should have treated her as my equal, not my student.

Dragging my comb through my hair, I gathered it at the nape of my neck, looping my hair tie around three times, and finished my 'morning' routine. Today I started working second shift, guarding the commons, and patrolling the buildings from two PM until ten PM.

Shrugging on my duster, I secured my stake, touching the small velvet box that laid in the pocket next to it. I thought long and hard about what I could possibly get Rose for her 18th birthday. When I asked her what she wanted, she told me nothing. What she truly desired couldn't be purchased at a store or online. Because all she wanted was the freedom to choose her own path. Thinking about it, I robbed her of that too, I chose what was best for her when I should have let her decide.

Anyway, I decided to get her something symbolic- a Claddagh ring.

The hands represent friendship, the foundation of an everlasting relationship. The crown, loyalty, my heart, my very soul, is hers and hers alone. Sure, I have my loyalty to the Moroi, protect and serve until my dying day, but my loyalty to Roza is that of my love. To cherish her, provide for her, and love her until I am no longer able to do so. Which leads us to the heart. The hands hold the heart in place, the crown topping it, showing that in love, friendship, and loyalty, you have something beautiful. Something all-consuming.

Removing the box, I opened it, fingering the thin silver. I have never been in a relationship- if you can call what we have, _or is it had now_ \- that felt like this. I have never felt this way toward anyone. Not Alex or Rebekah- my grade school crush. They didn't captivate me the way Roza does. Not even close. And no matter what happens between us. If she really doesn't love me anymore, or if we manage to work something out in the long run, I will always love her.

Bringing it to my lips, I placed a kiss to the heart, holding it there for several seconds before tucking it back in the box, and leaving it on my dresser.

Clocking on, I entered the commons room, making my way to the back wall to replace Emil. With a curt nod, he stepped away, letting me take his spot. My hands folded tightly behind my back, I scanned the crowd, searching for her. Lunch had ended thirty minutes ago, but several students lingered around. Without classes, the commons are open all day for students to relax in. Some played board games, some sat around in groups talking, and some -like I had in school- relaxed against the wall reading. But Rose was nowhere to be found.

 _She is probably with the Princess,_ I reasoned with myself. I just have to wait for dinner, she would show up eventually, and I would get to see if she is okay. Part of me prayed she showed no sign of sorrow, no matter how badly my heart hurt from her dismissal, I didn't want her to be upset. But another part of me, a teeny tiny speck, prayed she showed that she wasn't happy in her choice. Simply so I would know she does still love me and didn't mean what she had said last night.

 _Love Fades, Comrade._

A commotion at the doors drew me from the dark thoughts, "Princess," I whispered before moving in her direction. She looked distraught, her eyes scanned the room frantically looking for someone.

Me.

"Guardian Belikov," she yelled, resulting in my pace quickening across the room.

"Princess, what is it?"

"I have been looking for you all morning," her breathing labored, "Have you seen Rose, she isn't answering me," she tapped her head.

"Isn't the bond one-way," I rose my brow, trying to hide the way my insides were twisting into a million knots.

"It is, but she usually will call or text when I reach out to her, but nothing. And her phone is going straight to voicemail."

"Did you check her room?"

"The door is locked, and she didn't answer when I knocked."

"Follow me, I am sure she is just resting." _Or hiding from you_. Keying on my radio, "Has anyone seen Novice Hathaway," I asked, receiving no response.

"What's going on, Belikov," Alberta's voice carried through the earpiece.

"The Princess has been looking for her."

"Check her room," Alberta spoke again.

"On my way there now, I'll advise what we find."

I moved with purpose in the direction of Rose's room, Lissa struggling to keep up with my long strides. I was thankful that she had come to me, giving me an excuse to search Roza out. I just hope when she sees me she doesn't fly off the handle.

Climbing the stairs two at a time, I reached the third floor quickly, knocking on her door before Lissa joined me.

No answer.

Knocking again, Lissa called out for her, "Rose, are you in there?"

No answer.

Pulling my set of master keys from my pocket, I unlocked the door, immensely unprepared for what I found behind it. Nothing. Her room was perfect in every sense of the word, only she wasn't in it. The bed was made, books stacked neatly on the desk, and there were no clothes on the floor- one thing I used to reprimand her for, she _never_ put away her laundry.

"Guardian Belikov," Lissa's voice waived. Turning to her, she stood next to the bed, a piece of paper in her hands.

 _I'm Sorry,_ it read.

Sorry for what? Is it the words she spoke to me? Did something happen between her and Lissa? Christian? Adrian?

Looking further around the room, I found her phone on the bedside table, disassembled. Picking it up, I put it back together and powered it on. _No Sim Card_ flashed on the screen. Clicking on the messages icon, nothing came up, same with the phone log.

"When was the last time you talked to her," I asked Lissa.

"Uh- yesterday, wait, no the day before," she stumbled out sitting on the edge of the bed, still clutching the piece of paper. "Do you think she ran away?"

I shook my head, "No, I think she left with a purpose." Lissa tilted her head, a questioning look in her eyes, "I need to see Guardian Petrov, please excuse me, Princess."

I turned my back to leave, I could hear Lissa opening drawers, searching for an answer to her best friends disappearance. I had almost made it out of the door when Lissa called me again, "Guardian Belikov," the way my name rolled past her lips halted my movements, she was pissed, "What is this?"

She handed me a photo, a damning one at that, "Where did you find this?"

"Nightstand," she pointed, "What is going on here?"

I stood silently, taking in the image in my hands. When or how she obtained a printed copy of this is beyond me, seeing how she hasn't left the Academy, and to my knowledge has received no mail, but somehow, she managed to print a photo from her phone before leaving.

This picture was taken right after we came back from the Ski Lodge after I told her that I had declined Tasha's offer, and I started letting my guard down for her. We were in the gym, having finished our morning training and showers, she said she wanted a picture of us together, in case something happened to one of us and it was all she had left. I told her that she didn't need to worry, that I would always be around for her, but she insisted. So I took her phone, pulled her tightly to my body, and kissed her.

It was never supposed to leave her phone.

Putting the picture in the pocket of my duster, next to my stake, I cleared my throat, "I will let her explain everything to you, I must go." Without looking back, I bolted from Rose's room and straight for Petrov's office.

I could hear Lissa yelling for me to stop, calling me many colorful names that should not come from a woman like her, but I didn't stop to respond. I just pray that she doesn't run to Christian or anyone else about what she found today.

On my way to Alberta, I decided to make a quick stop at guest housing, to either confirm or deny my current fear. He went with her.

Rose is smart, a lot smarter than people - _or I-_ give her credit for. She would need help leaving the Academy, money mainly, to search for Eddie, and Adrian would give it to her without much thought. Considering he is filthy rich, and in love with her, I wouldn't doubt he would give her everything she requested of him.

Having not received an answer after the third knock, I unlocked his door, finding his room much the same as Rose's. Everything had been cleared away, a simple note left on the kitchen counter.

 _I'll keep her safe, Belikov, I promise._

Damn it!

With my fears confirmed, I had nothing left to do but tell Alberta she is gone- a conversation I am not looking forward too in the least.

Drawing several deep breaths, I knocked on her door, entering once called. Alberta sat behind her large mahogany desk, Stan Alto in the chair across from her. _Great_. Rose loathes him, and after getting to know him a bit, I understand why. The guys is a prick, to put it nicely.

"Did you find her," Alberta spoke, rising from her chair to walk around the desk and stand before me.

"No, Ma'am," sighing deeply, I whispered, "She's gone," _taking my heart with her,_ I added silently in my head.

"What do you mean?"

I explained what I found in her room, and Adrian's, as well as the conversation she and I, had last night when she had been outside of the wards- leaving out a few minor details. "I am certain she left to find Novice Castile."

I understand her desire to want to find Eddie, as I told her before, I have dealt with the same thing. Several years ago, before Ivan passed, my mentor Galina had been turned during an attack in Prague. The moment I heard the news I wanted to go after her because she once told me she would never want to live in that state. I wasn't much older than Rose now at the time and thought I could easily find and kill her, then return to my charge. But Ivan stopped me. He made me see that in doing so I would abandon him, and even if I was victorious, there is no way I would have been able to return as his Guardian. I had to choose between my loyalty to him or to the woman who had become a surrogate aunt- even mother at times.

Galina taught me everything I know, but in the end, I had to choose the path that would lead to my forever, loyalty to the Moroi. She would live out her days, and hopefully, someone would take her life at some point. Even though I will never know if she is still walking around or not, I chose to continue to live my own life and follow the path that had been carved out for me. I had hoped Rose would see the same light at the end of the tunnel, but I was wrong. And I am to blame.

I pushed her away, drove her to do this, it's my fault.

"Damn it, Rose," Alberta muttered.

"What do we do now? Should we go after her?" I asked hopefully, knowing the answer was most likely going to be one I will not like.

"You already know that will not be approved by the council," Stan scoffed.

"In normal circumstances, maybe, but Lord Ivashkov is with her. Queen Tatiana will want him found and brought back immediately."

"Will she though, we all know his reputation," Alberta lifted her brow.

As much as I wanted to say, 'of course she will', I couldn't. Alberta is right, Adrian's reputation proceeds him, and unfortunately for me, not in a positive way.

"And you are sure she left, she isn't hiding somewhere"

"No, I can feel it, Alberta, she's gone," - _and I have a feeling she doesn't plan on returning_. My head fell forward at the internal confession, tears pricking in the back of my eyes.

 _Love Fades._

You don't say something like that to someone you plan on coming back to after your death-defying adventure. She would know I would be upset that she ran off, putting herself in unnecessary danger, but I would forgive her. Life is too short to hold onto the anger. If she came back, I would thank my lucky stars that she is still alive and around for me to love. Because a love like ours doesn't just _fade,_ it's written in the stars -constantly shining, even when you can't see them- not in the sand to be washed away when the tide grows rough.

"Let me make a few calls, maybe Abe can help," she mumbled to herself. Moving back to her desk, she tapped away on her cell phone.

"Who's Abe?" I looked between the two of them, neither appeared to want to answer.

Closing her eyes, Alberta sighed deeply, "Her father."

Alberta had never so much as mentioned Rose's father before, no one has. It was one thing Rose always wished she could know, but her mother refused to give her a speck of information. Yet, Alberta and Stan both know who he is.

I turned to leave, not wanting to be around for the phone call. "Dimitri," Alberta called, "You _really_ should stay for this."

The way she said that -and the knowing glint in her eye- caused the hair on the back of my neck to stand on end, a chill sliding down my spine. I rose my brow to her, silently asking her to confirm my train of thought.

"Alto, can you give us a few minutes," he nodded, leaving Alberta and me alone.

"How?"

"Well for starters, I have eyes," Alberta chuckled, "I can see the changes in the both of you, as well as the not so subtle looks you two throw around. Spokane really brought the truth home," she paused, recounting the memory of finding them in that house, "she wouldn't let anyone bar you near her, and when you picked her up, you held her as if your life depended on it."

"It does," I mumbled.

"I know, and we will get her back." Rising from her chair, she came to place a comforting hand on my shoulder, guiding me into the seat Alto had occupied earlier, "And Abe will help us."

She returned to her side of the desk, but I couldn't help wonder one more thing, "Why? Why let it happen, why not put a stop to it?"

"I was Rose once upon a time," a deep sigh passed her lips, the corners lifting slightly as she recalled a faded memory, "I fell in love with my half brothers Guardian, he is five years younger than me. I walked away thinking it was best only to realize too late that it would be the biggest mistake of my life."

"I'm sorry, Alberta."

She waved me off, "It was a long time ago. Anyways, I didn't want to see that happen to the two of you. I see him and me when I look at you and Rose," her lip twitched as she suppressed a smile, "but, when it comes to telling Abe because he will find out, I knew nothing," she deadpanned.

Giving her a simple nod, she picked up her phone and proceed to dial out. Rose had always been curious about her father, but with my childhood, I never understood her desire to know. What if he is some Royal asshat like Randall? What if he could care less that his bastard Dhampir child has run off to God knows where?

The line connected, a Turkish accent I knew too well drifted over the airwaves, I stopped breathing, "Mazur," is all he said, but it was all I needed to hear to know precisely who he is.

Abe Mazur, known as Zmey- _the snake-_ back home, is not a man you want to cross. He is the type of man who isn't above torturing someone to get what he wants. Holding several stocks in legal and illegal goods, in both the Moroi and the human world, he is the richest Non-Royal with a net worth that puts the Ivashkovs to shame. In a way, I am thankful for that right now, he has money and the ability to find Rose. At the same time though, I can't help but think…

I have been sleeping with his daughter.

My eyes grew, locking onto Alberta's face, and she smirked at me.

 _Fucking smirked_.

"Abe, it's Allie, we need to talk," she paused, her tone shifting into something sorrowful, "it's about Rosemarie."

 ** _Author's Note:_**

 ** _Thank you guys for reading and reviewing! I love and appreciate the feedback._**

 ** _Question for the Update: If you could only read ONE genre for the rest of your life, what would it be?_**

 ** _Mine, of course, would be Romance. I just love, love. And it has so many sub-categories that I doubt I would ever run out of material. haha._**

 ** _Thanks again, be sure to leave your thoughts on the way out!_**

 ** _All My Love,_**

 ** _Dream_**


	9. Chapter Eight

_**Chapter Eight**_

 _ **Rose**_

" _Roza," my name rolled off his tongue in a low growl, "you're playing dirty."_

 _Tossing my shirt to the sidelines, I looked down at the sports bra I wore. If you ask me, it isn't revealing, or appealing, in the least. Once upon a time, it had been white, but months, hell maybe longer for this one, of training have stained it turning the white cotton into a dingy brown._

" _It's hot," I shrugged, dropping into my defensive stance, I held my hand out, palm up, beckoning him toward me. "Bring it."_

 _He muttered something in Russian and shook his head before dropping himself down. Around and around we went, neither of us making the first move. He trained me to lay and wait, let your opponent show themselves before jumping into the fight. The old Rose would have simply hit first and asked questions later, but I appreciate the logic behind his tactics._

 _Once he decided that I was indeed not going to make the first move, he struck out toward me. I blocked his throw with my forearm, countering with a right hook, which he blocked perfectly._

 _We traded blows for a few minutes, I took two hits to the shoulder and landed one kick to his ribs. Nothing damaging, but also nothing to end this match. I drew in a deep breath, preparing for my next move and Dimitri's eyes fell to my chest, watching the rise and fall of my breast._

Rookie move, Comrade.

 _Spinning to my left, I managed to position myself on his weak side and send a kick to the side of his knee. The result couldn't have been better, he fell to his knees allowing me to 'stake' him through his back._

" _Dea-aahhhh," I shrieked. He grabbed my arm, pulling me to the mat beside him. Propping his head up with his hand, I couldn't help but laugh at his unamused expression, "what the hell, Comrade?"_

" _That wasn't very nice, Roza," he tried to tamper down his smile, but the corner of his lips lifted slightly, causing my heart to flutter._

" _All is fair in love and war."_

* * *

 _AAAAAHHHHHHTTTTTT_

A screeching horn drew me from my memories, instantly alerting me to the potential danger. I looked out the windshield to see a pickup truck skirt into our lane just before the 18-wheeler heading the opposite direction decorated the highway with twisted metal.

"Shit, that was close," Adrian whispered, "you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good."

Laying my head back against the seat, I looked around to grab my bearings. We were still on highway twelve, heading toward Missoula, "Shouldn't we be heading West?"

"We will be, but we are picking up a few things first."

"Like?"

"New IDs, a different car since this one has a GPS tracker in it, and the cash I called for last night."

Right, the things I told him we needed.

Turning my head, I caught sight of my reflection in the side-view mirror, a silent tear making its way down my cheek. I don't regret leaving, taking on the mission of tracking down Eddie, but the look in my eyes screams agony as I think about how I did it.

By breaking the soul of the only man I will ever love.

Dimitri is far more than a schoolgirl crush, or lust-driven adventure, he is a once in a lifetime love. The kind you see on the Hallmark channel during Christmas. A knight in shining armor sweeping the damsel off her feet and providing her with love and protection. A forever kind of love story.

I have never been in love before and feeling the way I do right now, I never want to be again. I have nothing to compare this sensation too, but if I had to name the searing pain in my heart it would be 'death by a thousand lacerations'.

Torture. Slow. Painful. Draining.

Remembering the look in his eyes as I told him we needed to end things, I knew he was feeling much the same. And I am positive, had I looked at him and said those last words to his face, I would have seen him fall. Just like I did.

The minute I was out of eyesight of the cabin, I fell to my knees, allowing myself a brief moment to spill my emotions onto the dirt. I needed that moment. I needed to let myself feel like complete and utter shit so I could move forward and find Eddie. What I am going to do afterward remains a mystery at this point. But the one thing I know for sure, I will never see Dimitri Belikov again.

Wiping at my eyes, I turned back toward Adrian, "How long do you think it will be before they realize we're gone?"

"I don't know, but hopefully a few hours, that will give us time to switch cars and head to Washington."

"How did you manage this one?"

"Compulsed the Guardians into giving it to me, and letting me out of the gate," he shrugged.

Got to love ones ability to manipulate the minds of others at will.

When Lissa and I had been on the run we used compulsion for everything. From the moment we left the Academy, to get into a human school, and to find an apartment. It comes in handy, but I know first hand that the side effects will drive him closer to a psychotic break at some point. Unlike with Liss, I can't pull his darkness away, he has to maintain it on his own. Which is where his self-medicating comes into play. Jim, Jack, and Jose will keep him going, as will the Cloves.

Our drive continued in silence, which I was thankful for, and we arrived in Missoula just after Nine AM. Our first stop was to the Moroi owned bank, where Adrian retrieved a silver briefcase from inside. Watching him walk out I couldn't help but laugh at the movie worthy scene before me.

"Mission Accomplished," I giggled when he climbed back into the driver seat.

"Affirmative, Little Dhampir," he smiled brightly.

"Where to next?"

"The mall, my contact is waiting there with our car and documents."

At just shy of ten AM, the mall was deserted, making Adrian's 'contact' easy to find. Leaning on a silver Honda Civic was a man that could only be described as shady. From the flop of his long black hair over his eyes to the shabby threads he deemed as clothing covering his slim body. His hands constantly twitched and he crossed and uncrossed his legs several times in the thirty seconds I had been watching him.

He's an addict. And I am almost certain I know his vice of choice.

Bringing the Academy car to a stop, Adrian instructed me to grab our bags and the briefcase from the trunk and get in the Honda. Doing as I was told, I watched their interaction out of the corner of my eye, while scanning the area for any potential threats. Even in broad daylight, a Guardian must always be watchful, never faltering in their observations.

Adrian completed his transaction and climbed into the driver seat, "Try to rest, Rose, it's a long drive."

Leaning back, I let my mind wander to a happy place. A beach somewhere, anywhere, with a shirtless Dimitri laying next to me in the midday sun. Saltwater glistening across his tanned skin, his hands tucked behind his head, toes playing in the sand. I could admire him like this for hours, days even, at peace and happy, that's all I could ever dream of for him.

At some point, my dream shifted. I no longer laid on the white sand but stood in my dorm room, a piece of paper in my hands. _What are you sorry for, Rose?_ Lissa's voice echoed through my mind. Or her mind, rather. Just before I could pull out of her mind to tell Adrian they know, she spoke out loud.

"Guardian Belikov."

My heart skidded to a halt in my chest. _Don't look at him, please, Liss, don't look at him._ Moments like this make me wish for a two-way bond, because maybe, just maybe, she would have shown mercy on me and not looked toward my Russian God standing across from her.

Her eyes, _my eyes_ , met his across the room. His guardian mask remained firmly in place as he looked around the room, moving toward the nightstand where my phone sat. Lissa couldn't see the fear in his eyes as I could, besides, her mind was rambling questions off in rapid succession I doubt she would notice if his mask dropped.

 _Where are you, Rose? What is going on? Why are you sorry?_

"When was the last time you talked to her?"

"Uh- yesterday, wait, no the day before. Do you think she ran away?"

"No, I think she left with a purpose," his voice barely a whisper.

Lissa's thoughts took off at hyperspeed, causing me to miss his next words. His mouth moved, but I couldn't hear him, however, I saw the way his shoulders slumped, and his head fell forward as he held my phone in his hand. I made sure to delete everything, as well as taking the SIM card with me, so there would be no trace as to where we were headed.

Dimitri turned his back to her, leaving the room and Lissa started going through my drawers. Not that she would find anything ther….

Shit. No. I put that in my backpack, I made sure of it! It was the one thing I _needed_ to keep of him. Damn it!

" _What the fuck!_ ' she screeched, shock rolling through her, quickly turning to anger as she called back out for him, "Guardian Belikov, what is this?"

He took the picture from her, and I felt her anger boil, reaching dangerous temperatures. _Cats out of the bag now,_ I grumbled to myself. This isn't how I wanted her to find out, hell, I planned on her never knowing about Dimitri and me.

"What is going on here," she almost yelled, causing me to flinch.

Dimitri didn't answer right away, instead, he ran his fingers over the matte polish of the photo. I could see the shimmer in his eyes as he fought off the tears. "I will let her explain everything to you, I must go." Spinning on his heel, he bolted from the room, taking the picture with him.

"Get back here!" she yelled down the hall, "What the hell did you do to her? You're a fucking pedophile. I will make damn sure you never work as a Guardian again, Sick Bastard!"

I pulled out of her head, jolting upright in my seat, "Fucking- A!"

"What? What happened?" Adrian started to slow the car, ready to pull over.

"Lissa knows," I started, "about Dimitri and I, she's is pissed, and wants his title taken!"

"There is no proof, she can file a complaint, but.."

"She found the picture you had printed for me," his eyes widened, "I swear I put it in my backpack, but she found it in my room." Dropping my head into my hands, I groaned, "Adrian, what have I done?"

His eyes drifted to mine for a split moment before returning to the road ahead of us. One hand gripping the steering wheel, the other raking through his thick hair. His face contorted into one of pain, immense sorrow as he tried to think of an answer to my question.

"You couldn't help it," he whispered after several minutes, "You don't choose who you fall in love with, it chooses you."

"Somehow I don't think that is a good enough excuse for her right now," I mumbled, "If she tells Kirova or Alberta, he is done for. All of this would be for nothing."

"It's not for nothing," he pulled off to the side of the road, turning in his seat to look at me, "First of all, this," he waved his hand in a circle, "isn't for him, it's for you. You need closure, to find Eddie and help him. Second, Dimitri knew what he was doing, you both did, and if it gets out," he paused, scratching the scruff of his five o'clock shadow, "well, I can talk to Auntie and see what can be done to keep him out of jail."

"You would do that?"

"I would do anything for you, Rose, can't you see that?"

"Adrian," I sighed, preparing to tell him I can't reciprocate his feelings, but he cut me off.

"Rose, I know how you feel, and I have accepted it. Does that mean I am not going to have fun on this little adventure, hell no- I am going to enjoy every minute of it. But in the end, I know where your heart lies."

"Thank you, Adrian," I leaned over, placing a kiss to his jaw. Shifting back in my seat, I laid my head back, "I'm going to check in again."

Focusing on Lissa, I slipped easily back into her head. She was now in the attic with Christian, pacing the room like a caged animal. Christian sat in the armchair, looking completely at ease as if Lissa hadn't just revealed a scandalous love affair.

"Liss," Christian called out, she stopped moving, locking eyes with him, "how could you have _not_ known?"

"What do you mean?" she stepped back, offended at his question.

"She is your best friend, and you didn't realize that all during Christmas with Aunt Tasha around him, Rose was not happy? That she started taking everything more seriously since training with him? Or the looks she shot across the cafeteria when he walked in the door?" he rose his brow, "Are you really that blind to have not noticed how much she cares about him?"

"No!" she yelled, cutting off any further questions he may have had, "Rose doesn't date! She only dated Mason for like two seconds, and fooled around with Jesse, she couldn't…. She wouldn't…."

"She could, and she would, she loves him, I don't know how you missed it."

"How the hell do you know, you don't even know her that well!"

"Apparently neither do you," he spit back.

I felt Lissa's darkness rise, fueling her anger. Without a thought to my own being, I pulled it toward me, willing the black abyss to swallow me up instead of her.

"Lissa, I love you, I do, but, you have been so wrapped up in your own life that you completely missed that Rose was suffering."

"Rose," Liss whispered, her head fell forward as the anger disappeared from her body, "why wouldn't she just tell me?"

"Because she knew how you would react," Chris stepped forward, putting his hands on her shoulders, "you're not always the easiest to talk to, Liss." With two fingers under her chin, he lifted her eyes to his, the blue depths captivating her, and if I am honest, me too by the intensity in them, "I know you love her, and I know this is a shock, but the important thing right now is she is gone, and we need to find her."

Lissa nodded and wrapped her arms around his waist, "I'm the worst best friend in the whole world," she mumbled into his chest.

"No, just a little blind at times, we will figure everything out. Let's go find Belikov and see what he knows…"

I returned to my body, darkness and my own despair flooding my veins. Using the hum of the tires on the freeway, I focused on keeping my breathing even, coming back to myself after a few minutes.

"So.." Adrian trailed out.

"She told Christian, who apparently already knew, and they are going to talk to Dimitri and see what he has to say." Pushing my fingers into my temple and massaged gently, and looked around for a landmark to identify our current location.

Spokane.

Steering the car into a plaza of small businesses, he parked in front of a beauty salon. I tried to raise a single eyebrow, but they both shot up into my hairline. Adrian laughed and motioned me to follow him into the establishment.

"What are we doing here?"

"Becoming our new identities," he smiled, handing me my ID.

"Rosalyn Steele?"

"Close, but not too close to your real name, easier for you to remember," he shrugged.

"And who are you?"

"Jett Steele," the side of his mouth lifted into a crooked smile, his emerald eyes shimmering with humor. Why do I have a feeling I am not going to like his next words...

"Your husband."

* * *

 _ **Author's Note:**_

 _ **Happy Wednesday!**_

 _ **I hope everyone is enjoying their week so far.**_

 _ **If I am being honest with you all, I am freaking exhausted. Over the last week, I have not slept more than two hours a night.**_

 _ **But fear not, I have over half the story complete at this point, so updates for the next month will remain on time. LOL.**_

 _ **Question: Paperback? Kindle? Audio? What do you prefer, and why?**_

 _ **I am a paperback addict, thru and thru. I have only purchased ONE book on my Kindle app, and it is ONLY because it was absolutely not available in paperback. I also can't get into Audiobooks, I prefer to let my own mind take charge of the voices.**_

 _ **All My Love,**_

 _ **Dream**_

 _ **P.S- Are you following me on Facebook? If not, you are welcome to join- snips, photos, quotes, and random everyday shenanigans are posted there.**_


	10. Chapter Nine

_**Chapter Nine**_

 _ **Rose**_

I stood in the middle of my home for the next month, the Elliot Bay Grand Suite at the Four Seasons Hotel in Seattle. Adrian has really overdone this whole thing, but I knew it was a battle I would not win with him. I mean, do we really need all of this?

A 55-inch flat screen, two couches, two double beds- though I was thankful we didn't have to share- a bathroom that could hold twenty people easily, and a spectacular view of the bay?

Okay. I'll admit it, I'm in freaking love with this room, this view, but it isn't worth what we, _he_ , is paying for it.

"Little Dhampir," Adrian called for me from the living room- _yes, it is separate._

Turning away from the view, I headed toward the living area. Adrian held a box in his hands, his smile radiant as he set it down and looked for something to cut through the tape. Looking at him now, I felt an ache in my chest. I hadn't been the only one to have a complete makeover while in Spokane, but Adrian's new look hit far too close to someone else I know.

Someone I am about to hunt down.

His once thick sable brown locks were gone, replaced with a crew cut- low fade on the sides, and just long enough on top to comb over- with blond highlights giving him closer to a sandy blond look.

That wasn't the worst part though, no, that would be his eyes. With the assistance of colored contacts, they were now a gorgeous hazel green instead of the dark piercing emerald I have come to know and love.

He reminded me so much of Eddie that I couldn't look at him for too long, "What's up?"

"They just dropped off my shipment," he began pulling items out of a large box, "Phones. Bluetooth earpieces…" he continued to list off everything, setting each piece on the table in order. "Your clothes should be here by tomorrow, but we can go to the local mall if you need something sooner."

"No, we should be fine, I can hide out here until then, besides, I want to take a week to walk around in the daylight, get a feel for the area before I start the hunt."

"Alright," he moved his hand to run through his hair, grunting when he realized, again, that it is no longer long enough for him to do that. "I'm going to head downstairs for a smoke, you want to come or…"

"No, I think I am going to take a hot bath."

" _Oh_ ," the corner of his mouth lifted into his signature crooked smile, eyes shimmering with humor, "can I join?"

"Nice try." Playfully I shoved at his chest and laughed him off, "I'll see you when you get back."

"Is that any way to treat your, husband?" his hand covered his heart in mock hurt.

"Wouldn't know," I shrugged, spinning on my heel I headed for the bathroom.

Stripping out of my travel clothes, I laid out the pair of sweatpants and singlet from my backpack and ran the hot water as high as it would go. Sitting on the edge of the tub, I waited for it to fill, taking in my reflection in the mirror across from me. If I didn't know that it was, in fact, myself that I was looking at, I wouldn't recognize the woman in front of me.

My brown, almost black, hair had been colored to a vibrant red, which actually looked amazing. I had always wondered what I would look like had I got Mom's hair color and not my fathers. The reality is far better than my imagination. Yet, the color wasn't the most dramatic change, the length was. Before it flowed down my back, stopping about midway, now, it is as short as Moms.

If Dimitri were here I bet he would lose his mind, hell, I am about ready too.

" _Your hair is a dead give away. Not even, Belikov would be able to recognize you like this."_ Adrian had told me, and I have to agree. Though a part of me says Dimitri will know me anywhere, no matter what physical changes I make. He would see past the hair color and cut, and the icy blue contacts that laid in my eyes. He knows my heart, my soul, that is something you can't alter or hide.

Sinking into the boiling water, I let the heat relax me. Today had been rough, and it is going to get worse before it gets better, but I have faith in myself and Adrian to make this new journey work.

On our drive, we discussed many things, most importantly, where we would go once this was over. Though I hadn't given a ton of thought to what will happen after I find Eddie.

Neither of us wanted to go back into the folds of the Moroi society. He has grown tired of his father's disappointment and shaming, and since I will not graduate, I couldn't go back. The best course of action would be to branch out on our own, make a life in the human world.

Where? I don't know.

How? I don't know that either.

But Adrian had made sure we would have the documents needed to get us started in the human world. Birth certificates and Marriage License in our new names. Transcripts from High School and Junior College. He even secured an offshore bank account with _a lot_ of money in it in case it took longer than planned to hunt Eddie and move on.

He also opened up to me about himself. He told me about the first time he started seeing _auras_ , how he thought he was losing his mind. The battles he had in his younger days, depression and anxiety overruling his mind to a point he didn't want to live anymore. All the nights he snuck his father's thirty-year-old scotch into his room just so he could sleep for a few hours.

The more he talked, the more I realized just how complex he really is. By looking at him you would easily peg him as a spoiled Royal who never experienced a hard day in his life. Only he has. A lot of them. He was a terrified child with no one to care that he was hurting so much. No one caught on to the reason behind his outburst in school, or his lack of willpower to do anything stemmed from such a dark place. He has never been shown love or acceptance from anyone.

I would change that for him. I will show him the love and loyalty of family. I would stand beside him, holding him through the darkness, because I know what it is like to battle it alone.

"Rose, you okay in there?"

Blinking a few times at the sound of his voice I came back to the here and now. The water had gone cold and my skin pruney, I must have really zoned out.

"Yeah, be out in a second."

Toweling off and dressing, I met Adrian back in the living room. He laid relaxed on the couch in a pair of sweatpants and a 'Pink Floyd' t-shirt. I don't recall ever seeing him in something so….comfortable before.

"I ordered dinner from the Restaurant downstairs," he motioned toward the silver dome on the table, "Grilled chicken, sauteed veggies, and seasoned potatoes, plus something special for dessert."

"It smells wonderful, thank you, Adrian," with one arm over his shoulder I gave him a small hug before digging into my meal.

The chicken was to die for, dusted with Italian seasonings, and perfectly cooked, my taste buds danced with happiness. Leaving most of the veggies on the plate, I polished off the potatoes and waited for my dessert.

"First things first," Adrian stood, picking up a small package off of the work desk, "here."

Skeptically, I eyed the box from every angle. There were no markings or shipping labels, so I was curious as to where it had come from. Pulling at the tape on the top, and opening the two flaps, I found another small box inside. Lifting the lid of the second package, "Adrian…"

"It's not what you are thinking," he laughed, "I had been doing a lot of reading, researching if you will before we left about ways to assist with the darkness. I made contact with a lovely woman in Siberia who told me about healing charms. She said she charms her husbands ring with healing power to help maintain his shadows."

"You found another bonded pair?" Turning on the couch, I looked at him in shock, "Adrian this is huge!"

"I know," he nodded, smiling wide along with me, "she doesn't like people to know, they live in a small town, so people don't really bother them much. But she couldn't help but answer my email."

"How did you find her to begin with?"

"Through a family friend," he shrugged. "I don't know how well it will work, Lissa is better at healing than I am, but I figured even if it's only a little, I couldn't hurt," he slipped the silver ring on my finger, fitting perfectly. I couldn't really feel anything, but then again I wasn't exactly sure what I was looking for.

"Thank you, Adrian," I pulled him into a tight hug, "This is insane, I can't believe you found another pair."

"She said if we ever in the area she would be willing to meet with us."

"That would be amazing!"

"I knew you would think so, so when this is over, I hope to take you there."

My brows rose into my hair, "Really?"

Nodding, he smiled, "But, let's get through your vigilante mission here, and we talk more about that," bringing both hands down on his thighs in a quick slap, he rose from the couch again, "Now, the best part of the day." Picking up a white box from the kitchen, he sat it on the coffee table and lifted the lid, "Birthday donuts."

I looked at the dozen chocolate covered donuts, tears welling in my eyes. I tried blinking them back as I whispered a barely audible _thank you_. I have no idea as to why the sight of fried dough made me feel like someone just gut punched me in my feelings, but I couldn't stop the waterfall. Hot liquid flowed down my cheeks, leaving cold tracks in their wake.

"Rose, I'm sorry, I didn't mean…"

"No, no, you're fine, Adrian, I don't know why I am crying over this," I laughed softly, swatting away the tears, "Thank you, really, it's great."

"I know you really didn't want to celebrate your birthday at all, but Auntie always said, ' _even if you don't have a party, everyone deserves a cake on their birthday',_ and I know how much you love donuts, so I figured this was just as good."

"Better, so much better."

"Happy Birthday, Little Dhampir," lifting the box he set it on my lap and placed a kiss on my hair, "Now, action, comedy, or romance?" he asked while grabbing the remote and flipping on the TV.

"Action," I deadpanned.

"Oh, how about all three, they have _Deadpool_ ," he clicked on the title before I could clear my mouth of the gooey goodness. "You will love this."

"I'll take your word for it," I mumbled.

I polished off half the box of donuts before the movie even began. Adrian had gone to his bed and pulled the blanket off, bringing it to the couch. Snuggling into his side, he laid the blanket over us and we watched as 'Deadpool' murdered a dozen people on the bridge.

Laying here with him, like this, should feel weird, right? Even if he is now my pretend husband, I shouldn't feel comfortable cuddling with him. In the back of my mind, I can't help but feel like I am cheating on Dimitri. That being this close to Adrian is wrong and unethical when I am in love with another man.

 _But you left him, remember, 'Love fades, Comrade,' that's what you said._

Shaking my head I told that voice to shut up. My mouth may have said one thing, but my heart sure as hell feels the opposite. I would never stop loving him, he will always be the only one who holds my heart. No matter how far I go, no matter how much time passes, Dimitri Belikov is, and always will be, my forever. I just hope and pray that he, in time, moves on and lives a happy life.

I know I jumped ship rather quickly with this whole mission. I know I should have taken more time to think things through, make an actual plan, but I reacted out of anger. Whether it was anger at Dimitri, or the darkness conducting that train, I don't know for sure, but my mind was overloaded with indignation and I didn't stop to think. I acted.

Much like the old Rose would.

Maybe Dimitri was right. Maybe I still have a ways to go before I leave my childish ways behind me. Old Rose, the one who took the Princess away from the Academy, never stopped to think about the consequences of her actions, only the here and now.

I thought I had made progress after Mason died. Realizing had I alerted the proper authorities, IE. Dimitri and Alberta, we may have saved them all. Instead, I ran off after him with Christian, and we were all held hostage, ending with one of us not making it back home.

So, I guess not, considering I fled the Academy in search of a ghost, with only the spirit of my oldest friend to guide me in the right direction. Not my best move. But one I have to keep rolling with now. I can't go back. I can't start over. I have made my choices and I will live with them.

Still, it doesn't mean I should cozy up to Adrian like this. He isn't a fill-in or overall replacement for Dimitri. Lifting my head, I looked up to him. His head laid back on the couch, eyes closed and a small smile played on his lips. He looked peaceful, relaxed, and I didn't want to disturb that.

As carefully as possible, I detangled myself from the blankets and tucked them around him. Stepping back, I watched him for a few moments, before retreating to my own bed.

Staring up at the stark white ceiling, I drew a deep breath and closed my eyes. Sleep now. Figure things tomorrow. It is a small goal, but right now that is about all I can handle.

Another deep breath and I let go for the night.

* * *

 _ **Author's Note:**_

 _ **For the record, I do know that 'Deadpool' was not around during the actual time of the books, but have you ever seen that movie? OMG, I love it! haha.**_

 _ **Anyways, thank you for reading and reviewing, as well as the faves and follows.**_

 _ **Question: If you could live inside a book or movie, what would it be, and why?**_

 _ **No doubt, VA, because come on, Adrian...Dimitri...need I say more?**_

 _ **I love you guys! Have a wonderful week!**_

 _ **Dream**_


	11. Chapter Ten

_**Chapter Ten**_

 _ **Dimitri**_

I paced the length of Alberta's office as she spoke to Zmey about Roza. With each answer she gave, I could hear the fury in his voice, picture it on his face -the deep brown of his eyes turning black, the tick in his jaw, or the grind to his teeth- just like Rose.

When I heard my name mentioned, I froze- that is until Alberta continued to say that I was simply the person who noticed her disappearance, nothing more. Breathing a sigh of relief, I continued my pacing, allowing myself a chance to try and think where Rose may have gone to.

Mason had to give her a sense of direction, that much I know, she wouldn't leave unless she knew where to start looking. But I don't have the help of his spirit, only my own mind, and knowledge of Rose- neither of which tells me anything.

Why did I insist on driving her away? Why did I let my loyalty to the Moroi push away the most amazing woman to ever walk into my life? If I hadn't been so upside down in my own thoughts and emotions, maybe I could have reasoned with her- as Ivan had done with me.

A knock sounded at the door, Alberta motioned for me to see who it was. The person on the other side didn't make me feel any better about the situation I am currently in.

"Princess," I stood taller, trying to hide my unease.

"Just who I was looking for," she smiled, "Is Guardian Petrov available?"

"She is busy at the moment, shall I have her contact you when she is free?"

Her smile widened, "Open the door, Guardian Belikov," she spoke evenly, and I did as she requested, stepping aside to let her enter.

"Let me call you back," Alberta rushed out seeing Lissa walk in.

"WHAT? No, I need to know…." picking up the receiver, Abe finished his rants in Alberta's ear.

"I just had a student walk in my office, I will call you back, I promise," she hung up the phone, looking between the Princess and me.

Lissa made herself at home in the chair I had been occupying earlier, and I returned to my pacing at the front of the office. Every instinct in me told me to run, run far and run fast before the world explodes, but the look Alberta shot me when I eyed the door stopped me from doing just that.

"What can I do for you, Princess," Alberta spoke with a relaxed formal tone, her hands folded on the desk, looking at ease with Lissa's presence.

"Rose is missing."

"Yes, we are aware," Alberta nodded.

"So what are you doing to find her?"

"Unfortunately, Princess, there isn't much I can do. I have made a call to a friend who may be able to do something more, but since Rose is eighteen, I can not legally do anything about her leaving the Academy."

"Why not send him after her," Lissa jutted her thumb in my direction, causing me to stop my pacing, "He is my Guardian, and I am willing to allow him a leave absence to search for Rose."

"No." Alberta and I answered at the same time.

Lissa looked between us, "Why not?"

"Even with your approval, the council will not allow it. Guardian Tanner did the same thing and is now on permanent probation at Court," Alberta answered for us.

Mikhail Tanner. I honestly felt for him, understood why he did what he did- leaving the Academy to chase down the love of his life who had turned on her own will- but I couldn't allow myself to draw the same fate. Believe me, I want nothing more than to run after Rose, but I know, and so does she, that I can not do that without jeopardizing my career, my livelihood.

"I don't care, I want her found and brought back here as soon as possible."

"Princess," I moved to stand beside Alberta, "as Guardian Petrov said, she is eighteen now, even if I found her, I can't make her come back."

"He was wrong," she muttered, folding her arms over her chest she leaned back, crossing one leg over the knee of the other.

"Who was wrong?" Alberta asked.

"Christian," her glare fixated on me, "he said you love her. If you really love her you wouldn't be standing here wasting time, you would be out there looking for her!"

I took a step back for two reasons.

First- not only has Alberta picked up on Rose and I's feelings for each other, but Ozera did too. _Is there anyone else that knows?_

Second- She doesn't get it. She never will. And that is exactly why Rose left.

It's more than just her want to find Eddie, it's more than _us_ , it's Lissa -the Moroi in general.

' _Besides, we are always going to come second to our jobs,_ they come first _, and I don't want to be second best.'_

I didn't want that either.

I didn't want to hide my feelings for her, but I had too - _apparently, not doing a very good job of it-_ in order to protect her.

If I had the choice, a _real_ choice, I would shout my love for her from the top of every roof. I would court her, show her with every breath, every word, every single touch, just how much I love and cherish her. I would build a life for her -a home, family, anything she wanted, I would move heaven and earth to make it happen. I would ensure she knows she is the one I want by my side, through thick and thin, sickness and health, richer or poorer.

I would change her name.

It would be a dream, a pure fairytale to live out my hearts desires. Unfortunately, for us, we are stuck in this nightmare. Denying ourselves the simple pleasures in life, because _they come first_.

I shifted in place, trying to think of something to say to Lissa to make her understand, but nothing came. My mind is blank. There is nothing I can truly say at this point to reassure her that Rose would return or to explain why she left in the first place. So we just stare at each other, neither making a move to continue the discussion.

"Princess," Alberta broke through the tense silence, "we hope Rose comes back just as much as you do, but there is simply nothing we can do. I have made contact with someone who… well, he has a bit more influence and may be able to find her and figure something out."

"We can't just sit around and wait." Rising from her chair, her eyes flipped between Alberta and me. When we didn't budge, Lissa did something I didn't expect _-but also didn't buy-_ she begged. "Please, we have to do something. What if she is hurt, or worse?"

 _*Cue the eye roll_ * _Guardian Mask, Dimitri, keep it on._

"We do not have a choice, Princess," moving to stand in front of her, I placed my hands on her shoulders and directed her toward the door, "Now please, go back to your dorm. If we hear anything, you will be notified."

Once the door closed behind her, Alberta released a pent up groan, "Tell me, Belikov, what do you think our chances of finding her are?"

"Not good," I whispered, settling myself back into my chair.

I am sure Lissa believes that we simply don't care that her best friend has run off to god knows where, but both Alberta and I are feeling the same pain she is. Granted for different reasons, but we are still hurting. As guardians we have to hide that though, we can't show our pain, our fear, we have to be the strong ones. Sometimes I really hate this life we are born to live.

Alberta nodded softly, worry lines forming on her forehead, "I was afraid you would say that" pausing she rubbed her temples, attempting to gather her thoughts, "have you checked the Motorpool yet? See if any vehicles are missing?"

"No ma'am, I came straight to you when we realized they were gone."

"Head down there, if they did take one get the GPS coordinates."

"They wouldn't stay in it for long, Rose knows about the trackers."

"Yeah, but we can see what direction they are headed in."

"Right," I nodded, should have thought about that sooner. Can you tell my mind is a bit scrambled?

Leaving her office I headed downstairs, the Motorpool was located just west of the Admin building, so the trip down would only take a few minutes. We housed five SUV's and two four-door sedans, unlike Court that holds a few dozens of each, so a single unit missing would be easily spotted.

I opened the interior door, finding the two Guardians in charge of area sleeping on the floor. Standing over them, I gave a not so gentle nudge to their ribs with my foot. Both shot up instantly, rubbing the back of their heads.

"Guardian Belikov," the younger of the two looked up at me with wide eyes, "I… I…" scrambling to his feet, he tried to make sense of what was going on.

Ignoring him, I moved around him and booted up the computer and pulled the GPS coordinates for all of our vehicles. Six of them showed the same location, only one, a Dodge Charger, held a different address. Plugging the latitude and longitude into Google Maps, the pin dropped on Missoula, Southgate Mall.

Viewing the details on the location of the unit it has been idle for six hours already. It is currently four PM meaning they dropped it there at roughly ten this morning. It would take about an hour and a half, depending on traffic, to get to the mall from here.

The pieces of the puzzle began to fall together, the timeline laid out before me. She left right after seeing me this morning. If I had chased after as a man should, I could have stopped her. I could have said or done something to keep her from leaving the Academy, _leaving me._

Instead, I stood shell-shocked in the middle of the cabin, unable to move, to think, hell even breathe at points. The ache in my chest was something I had never experienced before. And her walking away as if it was the easiest thing in the world drove the stake even deeper.

 _Love Fades, Comrade._

The only thing that could have made that statement worse is if she had said, _her's had._

I stayed there for an hour before deciding to go back to my room to rest prior to my mid-day shift, figuring time and space would calm her enough that we could talk, work something out- _you see how well that panned out for me._

Had I done one thing differently, we could have had a very different outcome. Either in the cabin this morning, or the night before when she had been outside of the wards. Or hell, even in the gym the other day. One thing. One conversation. Had I been a better man, she may still be here.

I returned to Alberta's office with the new information, to which she told me to take Celeste and retrieve the vehicle. Celeste did not appear happy about the three-hour round trip when she had to work tonight, but she climbed in the passenger seat without complaint.

We didn't talk on the way to Missoula, in fact, she didn't even look my direction throughout the drive. Not that I am complaining, her silence was honestly welcome. I wasn't in the mood to conversate, besides, I have never been one for small talk anyway.

Pulling into the mall parking lot, I drove around in search of the Black Dodge Charger. Locating the vehicle in the back of the 'Macy's' parking lot, I parked beside it and proceeded to inspect the car.

Celeste stuck her head in the passenger side door, "Belikov," she rose back out of the vehicle, a plain envelope in her hands and handed it to me.

 _Cradle Robber,_

 _She will kill me if she ever finds out about this, so do us both a favor, keep this to yourself._

 _Rose is broken, Dimitri, completely and utterly broken. I don't know how to help her, but I felt like this is a good start. She feels responsible to a point that Eddie was turned like she should have done something to stop it. We all know that there is nothing she could have done, but she feels obligated to find him, help him. I don't fully understand her thought process here, I'm not a Guardian, and I have never had to fight for anything in my life. But I am trying to understand. I really am. I don't know how long this will take or how far we will have to go, but I will do everything in my power to make sure she comes back._

 _I will keep her safe, that is a promise._

 _-The Royal Prick_

 _P.S. - If you haven't already done so, check the cabin. She said she was going by there before we left. I think she may have left something for you._

"What does it say?" Looking up from the paper, I saw the first hint of emotion in Celeste's eyes- pitty.

"Nothing important," I choked out, and she rose her brow. Clearing my throat I avoided her silent question, "We should head back."

Celeste took the SUV that we drove up here in, while I jumped behind the wheel of the Charger. One thing I love about this car is the horsepower. I am not usually one to speed, it truly doesn't get you where you are going any faster, but today my foot slammed to the floor and the engine screamed all the way home, the hum of the tires providing a soothing soundtrack to my rambling thoughts.

If Rose left something for me, she literally had to do it right under my nose. Yet, I still didn't see the signs.

Maybe it's because I had been waiting for her, knowing at some point in the day she would venture out to the cabin, and I was anxious about giving her the ring. Or maybe it's because as soon as she showed up, the entire world shattered around me. After she said we should break up, my auto-defenses kicked in. I couldn't help but ask why - _even though I didn't want to know the answer_. And once she gave it to me, I had to confirm, for my own heart, as well as hers. I had to be sure this is really what _she_ wanted because at that point I was ready to throw my inhibitions out the window and claim her love. Only for her to tell me _love fades_.

The drive back took no time at all. Bypassing the main gates, I drove the dirt road that wraps around the Academy, pulling up beside the cabin. Once inside, I headed straight for the bed, sitting down on the edge just as she had, running my hands along the quilt. Replaying our talk this morning, I pictured her sitting here, the slight moves of her hands while we talked. Lifting the edge of the quilt, I found an envelope. My heart banged against my sternum, threatening to jump right out of my chest and onto the dusty floor.

Sliding my thumb under the lip, I broke the seal and pulled out two sheets of paper,

 _Comrade,_

…

* * *

 _ **Author's Note:**_

 _ **Surprise!**_

 **I decided to go ahead and publish this one so you guys didn't have to wait 4 days for the next chapter. I am evil, but not** ** _that_ evil!**

 **I will publish Chapter 11 tomorrow night!**

 **Question: What is one quote you live by?**

 **This is one of many that speak to my very soul. Every day we make choices that impact our lives, some bigger than others, but each one plays a role on the end result.**

 _ **"One of the hardest decisions you'll ever face in life is choosing whether to walk away or try harder."**_

 _ **-Ziad K. Abdelnour-**_

 **Thanks for all the reviews/faves/follows!**

 **All My Love,**

 **Dream**


	12. Chapter Eleven

_**Chapter Eleven**_

 _ **Dimitri**_

 _Comrade,_

 _By now you know that I am gone._

 _I am sorry. For everything._

 _Sorry that I didn't live up to the vision you had of me. Sorry that I disappointed you._

 _I am sorry that I fell in love._

 _When Lissa and I were little, we used to dream of the day we got married. We had these little books that we would take with us everywhere, full of pictures and ideas, well, as much as a six-year-old little girl could come up with. Thinking about it now, remembering what we wanted back then, I am a little ashamed at myself. But that is a whole nother story for another time. My point is, by the time I was twelve, I knew that everything I had dreamed in that book, ridiculous or not, I would never have. I knew I would lead a life purely dedicated to protecting Lissa, nothing else would come before her. And then you stormed into my world, all bad-ass and sexy as hell, and threw everything I thought I knew out the window. You opened my heart, my eyes, to things I never paid attention too, much less cared about._

 _Now though, I crave to have the life I once dreamed of._

 _I wish things were different. That we lived in a world where age didn't matter, loyalty to an ancient race didn't stop us from chasing our dreams and deepest desires. That we could love who we wanted, how ever we wanted and not be ashamed or condemned for it._

 _I wish a lot of things, Comrade._

 _Most of all, I wish I could show the world how much you mean to me._

 _I know you think leaving the Academy in search of Eddie is childish, foolish, but I have too. I can't really explain it, but between Mason coming to me and my own sense of guilt, I feel as if I am the only one who can make this right. I am the one that has to kill him._

 _You can understand that, can't you? You said yourself that if you had even been turned, you hoped someone would kill you, remember? There is no doubt in my mind had it been you and not Eddie to fall in the attack, I would have left at the first chance I got to find you. Because I love you that much. Eddie is my friend, my brother, and he doesn't deserve that fate. So if I can do something to end it, I will._

 _I can't tell you where I am going, simply because I don't know yet. Mason has given me a hint as to where he is, so I am following a thin thread of hope to find him. I want to say when this is all over I will come back to you, but if I am being honest, both to you and to myself, I do not see that happening. I decided that this is not the life I want anymore. I wish you could come with me, be with me, but that is simply not possible. Your life is that of a Guardian, and you are amazing at it. However, that is not the life for me. I want to do things that our world won't allow. To choose between loving you and my loyalty to Lissa, I simply can not. I can't be here, shadowing her knowing she is the reason we can't be together._

 _With that said, do not mistake my leaving as me not caring for you. I love you, Dimitri, with all that I am. I will never regret any of the moments I spent with you, ever. You have taught me so much, a whole lot more than just fighting. I will forever be grateful that you didn't give up on me when everyone else did. You are the best thing to ever happen in my life._

 _Before I go, I do have one favor to ask of you._

 _Please protect her. As long as I am alive I can still take her shadows, but I need you to keep her safe from the things I can't. You are the only one I trust to look after her. I don't have any right to ask this of you, and I would understand if you didn't, but if you could please do this for me, know that I will forever be indebted to you._

 _Lastly, I want you to know that no matter where I go, my heart will always be yours._

 _No one will ever take your place._

 _Stay Safe, Comrade._

 _Я люблю тебя. Всегда_

 _Your Roza_

 _P.S- I hope I wrote that right, I had to google it. If I didn't, well, I love you. Always._

* * *

I folded the two pages back together, slipping them back inside the envelope she had left and placed it inside my bedside drawer right next to the photo of us. I have read the words a dozen times over the last three days and long since have memorized every part of it. From each word to the curve of the letters, the slant in the sentences, and the variation in her handwriting.

The parts where she states how much she loves me, the words are bigger, as opposed to the parts where she is saying she doesn't want this life anymore, they are scratched out, small and hardly legible. I can almost picture her sitting down writing it, the contrast of frustration and love on her face as she fleshed out each line.

Rising from the bed, I started my morning routine. Shower, shave, brush teeth and dress, in that order. With everything that has happened in the last seventy-two hours, I needed to keep one thing organized. Once dressed and my bed made, I proceeded toward the gym to set up for today's mock attacks.

Kirova lifted the lockdown yesterday and the school was once again operating on a nocturnal schedule. The field experience has been reinstated- though we are not having them 'guard' overnight anymore- and we were performing more group attacks than before. Times are changing, and we need to keep up with them.

The gym was abuzz with people, multiple conversations occurring all at once. I didn't listen in on any of them, instead, I found a secluded spot along the far wall and waited for our briefing to begin. Alberta had given the reins over to Alto for the time being while she dealt with preparing for Abe's arrival this evening.

Alto's voice boomed through the room, silencing the space in a blink, "Alright, we are going to ease back into the swing of things with only three attacks set up for today," he handed a stack of papers to several people, who then passed them around.

"Once you have looked over your instructions you are dismissed, if you have any questions, please contact me or Guardian Emil. Guardian Petrov is not available for consultation at this time."

Voices rose once again, discussion of today's assignments ringing about. As I looked over the list of events, I didn't locate my name attached to any of them.

"Belikov," Alto called out above the crowd, his eyes scanning the room, once they landed on me, he nodded his head toward the locker rooms.

"Why don't I have an assignment?" I asked as soon as the door shut.

"Alberta wants you there when Mazur lands, you are to go and pick him up from Missoula at eight AM."

"Why isn't he flying straight into the Academy?" we have a runway for that exact reason, to keep Moroi from having to travel outside of the wards for extended periods of time.

"Kirova wouldn't authorize the landing," his eyes rolled around in their sockets, "you know how she is. But, it will allow us to keep his arrival under wraps a bit better."

"Surely there is something I can do in the meantime, I won't have to leave until around six."

"Report to Alberta first, and then try to get some rest. I have a feeling once he lands, you are all going to be awake for a while." My only response was a soft nod. "We will find her, Belikov, we will get your girl back," his hand clamped down on my shoulder, giving it a firm squeeze.

I had to pause for a moment, collect my thoughts. _Add Alto to the list of those who know._ His encouragement caught me by surprise, to put it simply. For as long as I have known him, which really hasn't been that long when you think about it, he has never shown me that he cared for Roza. And it was no secret that she wasn't his biggest fan either. But looking at him now, I can see the sorrow in his eyes, the worry lines permanently etched between his brows.

"I know what your thinking, Dimitri," he gave a small smile, "I know Rose thinks I don't care for her, and I am sure you see things the same, but I can assure you that Rose Hathaway is very dear to me."

I rose my brow, "I find that hard to believe, Guardian Alto," I kept my tone low and even, addressing him formally to bring our conversation back to a professional level. However, he wasn't going to allow that.

"Rose reminds me of my sister, Abigail," his eyes sparkled with memories, "she was a spitfire just like Rose, and I knew she could be an amazing Guardian someday should she ever learn to stop and think before running head first into every situation."

He paused, drawing a deep breath before continuing, "She, Abby, died almost fifteen years ago, just before Rose arrived at the Academy. When I saw the feisty four-year-old, I immediately associated her with Abby. Every time she got into trouble I couldn't help but feel like I was back home listening to my mother scold my sister, trying to teach her that every action has a consequence. I know it doesn't justify the way I have treated her over the years, but I see the same fire in her that I saw in Abby," a tear slid from his eye, gliding down his cheek, "I didn't want her to share the same fate," he whispered.

"I am sorry for your loss," I whispered back. I didn't know what else to really say at this moment. I have never been open with anyone other than Roza, and no one has ever been open with me this way.

Stan waived me off, "It was a long time ago, it still hurts, but not as much. Rose leaving slightly reopened those wounds, and I want nothing more than for her to be found safe and sound."

"That makes two of us, but I don't think we will find her, even with Zmey's help."

"Why?"

"She doesn't want to be found, she doesn't want to be a Guardian anymore. And if there is one thing I know about Roza, when she wants something she will fight like hell to achieve it."

Walking away I left him with more questions than I had answers to at this point. I hadn't told Alberta, or anyone, about the letter Rose had left me. I wanted to wait until Abe was here to discuss the topic with everyone at once, I doubt that my heart could handle more than one earth-shattering moment today.

Stan would more than likely show up to the meeting later, so he would receive his answers then, as for now, I headed toward Alberta's office alone, preparing for one of the longest days of my life.

* * *

My fingers drummed against the steering wheel as I people watched from the comfort of the Academy SUV. Abe's plane was due to land in thirty minutes, and I would be picking him up on the tarmac at Missoula INTL.

After meeting with Alberta, I spent the rest of the day in the cabin trying to sleep- trying being the operative word considering every time my eyes shut I saw her. The way her hair framed her face in soft waves, the richness of her brown eyes as they bore into mine, the flush of pink on her cheeks and her plump lips curling upward into that killer smile.

God, I miss her.

Replaying the words of her letter in my mind I think back to the last thing she said- _I want you to know that no matter where I go, my heart will always be yours. No one will ever take your place. Stay Safe, Comrade. Я люблю тебя. Всегда._

A part of me felt ashamed that I would ever believe her love for me had faded, even if she herself said so. I should have known better. It hadn't been the darkness or her own will that spoke those words, it was a pure strategy. She needed to tell me something to stop me cold, make me unable to process my next move because I couldn't get passed her declaration. Damn if I didn't train her well at something- how to hit your opponent where it hurts the most.

Peeking at the clock, I now had five minutes left until Abe would land. Shifting the SUV into gear, I moved from the Starbucks parking lot across from the Airport and met with the grounds crew to enter the private flight gate. The Gulfstream G550 taxied the runway, coming to a stop under the large white canopy.

Pavel, Abe's primary Guardian, exited first, checking the surrounding area as he descended the stairs. Dressed in a sleek purple and black custom-tailored uniform he was the picture-perfect Guardian. I would guess around six foot, hair trimmed short- almost to the scalp- and not a speck of dirt on his clothes. He held his head high, back straight, even among his colleagues and safe in the daylight, he was composed and alert.

"Guardian Pavel, I am Guardian Dimitri Belikov. I will be escorting you back to St. Vladimir's Academy," reaching my hand out, he took it without a thought.

"I remember you," he smiled widely, "Olena's boy, right?"

"Yes, Sir."

He called for the others to exit the plane, while he and I began pulling luggage out of the cargo space, loading it into the Suburban. I counted far more bags than I would assume Abe would be bringing on a short trip, but then again, who knows with him.

"No, not those, just these three for now," Pavel directed, "The others will grab their own bags."

Looking back at the Suburban, I turned toward Pavel, "How many are there?"

"Including myself, there is twelve of us, but only Abe and I will be going to the Academy. The rest will be staying at a local hotel."

"Does he always travel with all of his Guardians?"

Pavel laughed, deep and rich, "Son, this is just a third. We left thirty back home between St. Petersberg and Istanbul, these guys guard his Pennsylvania residence."

"Huh," I clicked my tongue, interesting. I knew Zmey had his own army, but I didn't think he had _that_ big of a task force.

As if he heard me thinking about him, the man himself appeared at my side. "Belikov, good to see you again, though I must say it always seems we get together in the worst of times," he laughed, "how are your mother and sisters?"

"They are well, Sir, thank you." I shook his hand.

Standing here with him was like taking a ride back in time, eleven years to be exact. The night I beat my own father beyond the point of recognition. Babushka had contacted him to 'clean up' the mess Randall left behind. IE. Him. Back then, I had been thankful for his assistance, his reputation. It kept Randall from ever coming back to Baia. Now, however, I am almost as scared of him finding the truth behind everything that Randall had been of him.

Clearing my throat, "Shall we," I motioned toward the SUV.

I drove, while Pavel and Abe both sat in the captain's chairs on the second row. After ensuring that his other Guardians had their rental car and were on their way to the hotel, we made the hour trip back to St. Vlad's.

Lost in my own thoughts, I didn't hear Abe ask me about Rose's sudden departure. He and Pavel had been looking over numerous files for some time and I knew better than to listen in. But when he barked the question a second time, I made sure to answer.

"It was actually the Princess who noticed something was wrong, she couldn't locate her that morning for breakfast or lunch. Vasilisa came to notify me and I went straight to Guardian Petrov after seeing Rose's room had been cleaned out," I glanced through the rearview mirror as I answered, meeting Abe's eyes briefly.

"I see, and she didn't tell anyone about this…" he waved his hand, searching for the right words.

"Suicide mission," Pavel supplied with a sneer, causing me to cringe at his abruptness.

"No, Sir. I.." cutting myself off, I planned out my next words. If I told him I had talked to her the night before, hell _right_ before she ran, I could set myself up for a slew of questions. "Not that I am aware of, she only spoke to a few people after the attack on campus, the Princess and her boyfriend, Mr. Ozera, and Lord Ivashkov."

"Lord Ivashkov is with her, correct?" Pavel rose his brow.

"Yes, Sir, as far as we know."

"Then that is where we start, he had to move money for this endeavor, find the money, we find them."

The two men shared a look, much like Rose and I do when we are speaking without words and went back to looking through their files. I wondered what they could have already found about Rose and Adrian, but we only had a few more minutes before we arrived at the gates, so my questions could wait.

Petrov stood at the foot of the stairs waiting on us, a huge smile gracing her face when I brought the vehicle to a stop. In a fashion I never expected from a woman of her statue, she opened Abe's door and almost jumped inside the backseat to hug him.

" _брат, я скучал по тебе,"_ she practically sobbed into his shoulder, causing me to take a step away from the vehicle in shock.

Alberta released him, allowing him to step out of the car, and I couldn't help but ping pong between the two. Same dark hair- though Alberta's held a bit more grey than his, same eyes. The only real difference in the two is their height. Abe is tall, whereas Alberta is on the shorter end, around five-six, five-seven.

"Seriously?" I whispered more to myself than anyone, but Alberta still heard me.

 _Sorry, not sorry,_ she mouthed, before turning back to Abe, "How was your flight?"

"Not bad," he smiled, throwing one arm over her shoulder, "How have you been?"

The two walked off toward her office, leaving Pavel and me to deal with the luggage. How could she leave out that little detail? She is his sister. He is her brother. Two things dawned on me at that moment, one- she is Rose's Aunt, and I bet Rose has no idea of that. Two- she had been in love with her half-brothers Guardian, meaning…

"Guardian Pavel, are you okay?"

If I hadn't already put two and two together, the look on the seasoned Guardians face would have for me. Pure longing smothered his features, from the shimmer in his eyes to the set of his brows, to the frown pulling at the edge of his lips.

"Yeah," clearing his throat, "Help me get these over to guest housing, would you?"

"No problem," I nodded, lifting the last bag and closing the boot.

"And Belikov, it's just Pavel, no need for titles among family."

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Happy Wednesday Loves!**

 **I hope everyone is well, and your week is going beautifully.**

 **Next update will be Sunday as usual, that one, ha, will be fun!**

 **Thank you as always for the reviews/faves/follows, you all are amazing!**

 **All My Love,**

 **Dream**


	13. Chapter Twelve

_**Chapter Twelve**_

 _ **Dimitri**_

By the time we got back to Alberta's office, the room had been transformed into some FBI Headquarters look alike. Cork boards with photos, maps, and documents took up the square footage at the front. Her conference table on the left was covered in papers, and her desk was stripped of nicknacks and three computers were now booting up.

"What in the world," I whispered to myself, but Pavel heard so he answered.

"This is how we find her."

"Can he really have that much information already?"

"Let's find out," he nodded toward the cork boards and I followed after him.

Pictures of Rose and Adrian were pinned to the top left corner, their full names and birthdays underneath. A map of the Northwestern section of the US covered the right half, little red pins marking cities- Missoula, and the Academy are the only two points at this time.

Adrian's bank statements, showing a very large cash withdrawal, and a transfer to an offshore account in the Cayman Islands, but no credit card activity. They really are smarter than we gave them credit for.

"Could they get a rental car with cash?" I asked, my eyes roaming over the bank account information.

"Not likely, most if not all, require a major credit card, so he either bought one or had another means," Alberta answered, giving a slight roll of her eyes at the end.

Right. Compulsion.

Rose had told me about how Lissa got them around in the human world, no doubt Adrian would do the same to get past the red tape.

Moving over to the conference table, I sifted through the stacks of papers. Most were repeat statements that were on the board, but one stack took me a bit by surprise. Copies of Rose's trust fund information, her birth certificate, and documents showing what assets she held starting on the day of her eighteenth birthday. Abe set her up nicely. She held a fortune of her own, she really doesn't even need Adrian's money if she knows about this.

"Does Rose know?"

"Know what?" Alberta requested the clarification.

Holding up the page with her trust fund information, "About this, and that you're her father?" I gestured toward Abe.

"I had given a copy of that to Janine," turning to Alberta, "Did she give it to her?"

"She did, but I don't know if Rose has opened it. Janine told her she wasn't allowed to look through it until her birthday, and she left that morning."

"If she did, she wouldn't need Adrian," I mumbled to myself.

"Maybe _she_ isn't using him," Pavel half growled.

I could see in his face that the idea of Rose being a bloodwhore for Adrian killed him. If he has been around long enough, he must have known Rose when she was an infant, a surrogate Uncle to her if you will.

"No, it is definitely for the money," I corrected him quickly. "She isn't like that, and would never drop down to that level, no matter what is going on."

"Well, whatever the reason, he is the key to finding her," Abe rose from his seat and looked over the bank statements on the board, "Who withdrawals that much money in cash?" he was speaking to himself, lucky for us because no one had an answer- other than the obvious- you can't trace cash.

Abe took out his phone and stepped off to the side of the room. Alberta tapped away at something on the computers, and Pavel sat at the table looking through all of the documents. I decided to take a seat on Alberta's couch and rest my eyes for a few moments. I have been awake for far too long and I should have been in bed hours ago.

Leaning my head back on the leather cushions, I closed my eyes and let sleep engulf me for just a few minutes. As I have grown used to, my dreams instantly drifted to Roza. Her face with a flush of pink on her cheeks, the way her hair cascaded over her shoulder causing my fingers to twitch asking for a simple touch, her deep brown eyes holding mine -full of love, life, happiness, and full lips that begged to be kissed. She was all that I could see, fuck all I wanted to see.

The backdrop came into view, a deserted street that I remember clear as day, an open window on the third floor, and the most mesmerizing woman just behind the curtain.

"Hey, Cradle Robber."

I spun on my heal, "Ivashkov!"

"Shit man, you don't have to yell I am right here," he laughed.

"Where the hell are you," I lowered my voice into a deep growl.

"I can't tell you that, she would kill me, and you know it."

"Yeah, I honestly wouldn't mind that right now," I took a step toward him, ready to end him myself.

"Hey, now, play nice," his held his hands up palm out, "She would castrate me in my sleep if she even knew I was reaching out to you. I'm doing you a favor here, not me."

"How is that? If you aren't telling me where she is, how is that helping me at all?"

"Because I am letting you know that she is safe. She hasn't even gone out looking for him yet."

"She needs to come home, Adrian, you both do."

"I can't make her go back," his voice softened, "and honestly, neither of us want to. Things have changed, Dimitri, and until we can figure out how to roll with the punches, we are here." Pulling at the back of his neck, he released a deep sigh, "Look, I just wanted to let you know she is safe, I am making sure she has everything she needs."

"What happened to ' _I will do everything in my power to make sure she comes back'?_ You promised me."

"I _promised_ to keep her safe," his voice dropped an octave, "besides, that was before I knew the real reason she wanted to leave."

I opened my mouth to tell him that isn't good enough, but he cut me off, "And just in case you are wondering, her shadows have already gone down substantially, she can't see Mason anymore."

The dream flickered around me, causing me to look at him in shock, "Someone is waking you up. This conversation never happened, Belikov. If you love her, you will keep her secrets too."

Adrian vanished, and I jolted awake in Alberta's office, "ублюдок."

"Belikov," Alberta yelled.

 _Shit_. "Sorry, I forget sometimes that I am not the only one who knows Russian."

"What has you screaming obscenities?" Abe rose his brow.

"Bad dream," I mumbled. A look at the clock shows I slept for about an hour, "What did I miss?"

"We made contact with the bank teller," Abe started, "Guardian Churchill advised that Adrian went in at roughly Nine AM. The teller that helped him said he didn't say where he was going, only that he and his wife were taking an extended vacation."

Like I said, _Mother Fucker_. It isn't enough that he took her away, now he is running around with the cover of being married to her. _And to think I was about to start trusting him._ When I get my hands on that Royal prick I am going to wring his neck.

 _She is safe. She doesn't want to go back, neither of us do._ His words replayed in my head. I know he wasn't lying about her not wanting to come back, she told me that in the letter, but she wouldn't start over with him, right?

But another part of the conversation hit me square in the chest, _Her shadows have gone down substantially._ She has been gone three and a half days and she is already healing from Lissa's darkness. Sheer distance has allowed her to let go of some of the burdens she has been carrying around. Can I really be upset that she is healing? And exactly how far away did she have to go to not feel the effects anymore?

I ran my fingers through my hair, I guess it is time to tell them what she told me. Not that I think it will stop Abe from trying to find her, but this way, at least they know her plans. Or at least some of them.

"I have to tell you all something…"

Alberta, Abe, and Pavel joined me on the couches, settling in for the story they are not going to want to hear. Hell, it's one I don't want to tell- knowing that questions will arise that I don't necessarily want to answer, and if I do, half of it will be a lie.

"Rose left a letter, explaining why she left…"

"We already know why she left," Abe jumped in. "Why are you wasting my time?"

"Ibrahim," Alberta scolded, "let the man speak."

"Yes, she left to hunt down Novice Castile, Eddie, but there is more too it than that." I ran my fingers through my hair, gathering my thoughts. "Rose has been shrouded in darkness ever since the attack, to the point where Adrian couldn't see her aura anymore. The night she attacked Mr. Zeklos she almost lost herself to it," my voice dropped to a whisper, "I didn't know if she would recover."

"I'm not following," Pavel interjected, "What is the 'darkness'?"

"It's the negative energy she absorbs from the Princess, Vasilisa." Both Abe and Pavel looked at me as if I had grown a second, and third head. "You don't know, do you?" I looked between them, and back to Alberta who sat a little further back in her chair.

"Know what?" Abe barked.

I looked back to Alberta, who at least had the decency to appear ashamed, and rose my brow. She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth- a nervous tick that Rose does all the time, guess I know where she gets that from. Her eyes begged me to tell them, not wanting to be the one to rip her brother's heart from his chest.

Turning back to Abe, I locked eyes with him and ripped off the band-aid, "Rose died."

"What do you mean, _she died?"_ Abe growled.

"The accident that killed the Dragomir's, she died that night, but the Princess healed her, bringing her back to life."

My admission acted as a tsunami, smothering and suffocating the two men across from me. Neither appeared to be breathing, their bodies locked stiff in shock. Abe's eyes darkened, much like Rose's do when she is really, really upset. I opened my mouth to say something, anything, to assure him that there was no lasting damage from the incident, but I couldn't. Because that would be a lie. After all, it's one of the reasons she left.

Abe was the first to move, shooting Alberta a look that one can only describe as death, and rose from his chair, pulled his phone from his jacket pocket, and walked out the door. I knew better than to be on his bad side, but thankfully, I doubt I am going to be on the receiving end of his wrath- _at least for now._

Pavel deflated in his seat, shoulders slumped and his chest rising and falling at a rapid rate. Sparing a look at Alberta, I could see she felt responsible for their pain. Her eyes shimmered with unshed tears as she looked at Pavel.

Clearing his throat, he stood from his seat, "I am going to go check on him."

I nodded softly and leaned back, resting my head and letting out a long breath. I have had my fair share of family drama -growing up in a house full of women it was inevitable- but never something like this. Secrets tend to come out sooner or later, and it is never a positive thing.

 _If you love her, you would keep her secrets too,_ Adrian had said. But I couldn't do that. It's because I love her that I have to tell them what I know. Granted it isn't much, but it is something. Something gives us hope that maybe, just maybe, she will come back to us- _to me._

"I should have told him," Alberta whispered, breaking up the silence.

"Janine should have," I countered, "don't feel bad, it was probably better in the long run."

"What all did she say?"

"Mostly that she loves me," I scoffed, "Even though she what she said before she left was the opposite." I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees, linking my hands together, "She said that she feels she is the only one who can find him, and that.."

My words were cut off by the door opening, Abe and Pavel walking back in, "Janine is on her way here now," Abe spoke, "You didn't call her to tell her Rose left?"

"No, why worry Janine when she didn't help the last time Rose ran off."

"Well, she will be this time, I called Lord Szelsky myself to have her placed on leave immediately." Abe folded himself back into the armchair, Pavel taking his spot next to him, "Now, explain to me exactly what happened to my daughter."

Between Alberta and I, since she knew more about the crash and their recovery than I did, fleshed out the details of the fateful night three years ago. I took over explaining Adrian's ability to see auras and the fact that Rose's had been hidden by the darkness.

Abe watched me with a curious eye as I talked about her. I know my face showed no emotion, my Guardian Mask remained securely in place. I kept my tone even, trying to mask the pain shattering my heart at the thought of her hurting so much and not seeing it. I have always been able to read her better than a novel, the same way she does to me. Yet I missed the fact that she was carrying such a heavy burden.

When she was with me, be it wrapped around my body sleeping peacefully through the night or spending a few hours relaxing in the cabin after my shift, she didn't appear to be in distress. If Adrian reaches out to me again, I will have to ask him about that. How she managed to be calm and happy with me, but hold so many shadows.

"The reason I say this is," I paused, trying to find the right words, "Adrian said that she is already healing by being away from Lissa. She can't see the ghost anymore, and her aura is returning to normal."

"When did you talk to him?" Abe sat forward.

"He dream walked with me."

"So you know where they are," Pavel asked.

"No, he wouldn't tell me, only that she is safe. She hasn't actually gone out looking for Eddie yet, and that.." I drew a deep breath, "she doesn't want to come back, ever. Which she also said in the letter she left. She doesn't want to be a Guardian anymore, or live in this world."

"Why? She has trained her entire life for this? She has always wanted to guard…" Alberta cut herself off, a look of understanding in her eyes.

Pavel's attention locked on Alberta. I am not sure if he came to the same conclusion with the sparse information I had given, or if he recognized the look on Alberta's face, "She fell in love, didn't she?"

"She didn't want to ruin their lives, so she left to protect his," Alberta answered. I have a feeling she was speaking more about herself than Rose.

"Apple didn't fall far from the tree on that one," he scoffed, "Why didn't you talk to her, stop her from making your mistakes?"

"Had I known it was a possibility, I would have," she growled. "I didn't know it was that serious, she's eighteen, I thought it was a simple high school crush. I never would have guessed she would run."

Abe and I watched the two ping pong back and forth with accusations. Abe sat back and smiled, pulling a sip from his cup of tea. _About time,_ he mouthed, and I chuckled lightly to myself.

They continued their argument while Abe and I just listened and waited for them to get everything off of their chest. I could tell Alberta was hurt by his words it was written all over her face. Though if I was her, I would be hurt too, Pavel hit below the belt, bringing up times that should have remained private between them. But she had the same effect on him. Pavel was no longer sitting, but wearing a ten-foot hole in the carpet, his hands waving through the air in exasperation.

All of a sudden he stopped, his eyes burning holes in Alberta's, "Who is he? Is it the Novice she is chasing, or the Ivashkov boy?"

"No," her answer came out quick, "Castile was involved with the kidnapping in Spokane, they are close. As for Ivashkov," she paused, trying to find the words, "he is just a friend."

"Then it's someone here," his brow rose, eyes steadily holding hers, "who is it? I want to know who drove my niece to run away from her career, her livelihood! He needs to know what he has done."

You could hear a pin drop with how silent the room became. Pavel stared her down, waiting for an answer, and bless her, she was holding his stare and not looking toward me.

But Abe was.

His expression remains neutral, but I could see it in his eyes. And I can not lie and say that his stare held no effect on me because I could feel the sweat bead on the back of my neck, sliding down my spine.

"Answer me, Allie," Pavel almost yelled, anger vibrating his body.

I watched Alberta's throat tighten as she swallowed. I couldn't let her take his anger, she didn't deserve it. It wasn't her fault Rose left, it was mine. I pushed her away, made her believe I didn't care enough to fight for her. I put her down, using her age against her, even though she is wise beyond her years. You can't teach someone the honor and dedication that Rose has, you are born with it. Age should have never been a fighting point, but I made it out to be because I was scared of what the future held for us. I was terrified that I would lose everything I worked so hard for if I let myself fall in love- _so damn far in love._

"Me," I whispered. Alberta shot me a _'what are you thinking'_ look. I cleared my throat, preparing to admit to the most feared man in our world, that I am in love with his daughter, and I am part of the reason she abandoned everything. I may be a _Blood Master Seven_ and hold more _molnija_ than most Guardians my age, but I am man enough to acknowledge how absolutely terrified I am right now.

"I pushed her away, it's my fault," I spoke louder this time, shifting my gaze between Abe and Pavel. I opened my mouth to explain what happened, only to be stopped by Pavel gripping my shirt and pulling me from my seat.

With the strength, only a veteran like himself could carry, he sent me to my knees with a single punch to my gut. I didn't, and wouldn't, fight back. He needed to release his anger, and honestly, I would take a beating from him as opposed to anything Abe could come up with.

After a knee to my nose, successfully breaking it, he finished with a kick to my ribs. I have a feeling had Abe not told him to stop, he wouldn't have. I don't know of the relationship Pavel held with Rose, but any Father or Uncle would kick the ass of the man who hurt their little girl. I get it, I do. Lord knows if I had a daughter in a situation like this, I would do the same thing.

I popped my nose back into place, wiped the blood with the back of my hand and stood back on my feet.

"If you would like to live through the night, I suggest you sit down and start explaining," Abe's voice was stern, cold and lethal.

I did as he said, sitting back on the couch- resting my elbows on my knees, linking my fingers together. Kneading the palm of my hand with my thumb, I swallowed the softball that lodged in my throat, "It all started the moment we caught them in Portland. She amazed me when she threw herself in front of Lissa, high on endorphins and severely outnumbered, she protected her charge. I couldn't figure out how someone her age understood duty the way she did. Then over time, mentoring her I saw her dedication and passion she held for Lissa, I couldn't stop falling if I wanted to," pausing, I drifted to another place, a place I tend to stay away from. My heart.

"You may not want to hear this, but I need you to listen." I held Abe's gaze, his dark eyes smoldering, "I didn't use her. I didn't take advantage of her. I love her."

I paused, letting him hear and understand my words before explaining any further, "She is my everything, Mr. Mazur. She puts the beat in my chest, every time I see her, no matter where we are, my heart beats to a different drum. She makes me see things in a new light, she is my light, my reason to breathe," I was whispering by the time I finished. My mind taking a trip back in time, recounting all of the little moments where Rose never ceased to surprise me.

The way she always had Lissa best interest in heart, she would do anything and everything to make sure her best friend was happy and safe. The dedication she showed when we started training, her drive to catch up and surpass her fellow Novices. Her professionalism at the Badica house, even if she hadn't listened when I told her to stay in the car. Her courage to risk her life to save her friends in Spokane, making sure they got out and she was left alone to fight. And in the attack, she was fierce, focused, and absolutely amazing. Everything about her is amazing.

"And I let her go."

"That's touching," Abe snarled, "but I am failing to understand why you pushed her away if you cared for her so deeply."

"When she was taken in Spokane," pausing I cleared my throat again, I hate talking about that time, "I couldn't stop thinking of how I will never see her again, and even if I did, she wouldn't be the same. You would understand," I waved a hand toward Pavel, "killing your first Strigoi changes you, watching your friends die is even worse. After that, she wouldn't be my Roza anymore, but she was. She came out stronger, more focused and wiser than she went in. I was so proud of her," a tear slipped from my eye, leaving a cold track in its wake.

"When we returned to the Academy, I knew I would do everything in my power to be with her. If I had to apply for reallocation, I would. If I had to leave this world behind completely, I wouldn't even blink. But everything changed after the attack. I can't really explain it, but I got scared." I paused, knowing that much was a lie, praying Abe didn't pick up on it. I know exactly why I freaked out, but I didn't really want to tell him about sleeping in her dorm room and having been caught by another Guardian. I can already feel one eye swelling, I don't want to go for two.

"I worried that I was ruining her life, holding her back from being the person she was meant to be. She fought so gallantly, I knew she would be one of the greatest Guardians in history. So I pushed her away. We fought over menial things, I talked down on her, even though I didn't believe my own words. I wanted her to be angry with me and be able to move on and become the person I knew she could be."

"I am not saying it was the right thing to do or the brightest, but at the time I thought it was best. It wasn't until she came to me and told me we wouldn't work, and that we should end things, I realized how much I didn't want that. It was like every wall I had begun to build around my heart crumbled, opening my eyes to the fact that I made the biggest mistake of my life. That I love her more than anything my career or this world could ever offer, and I didn't want to lose her."

"Did you know she planned on leaving?" Abe asked, his voice still stern, but not as cold.

I shook my head, "I knew she wanted to find Eddie, but I didn't know that she didn't want to be a Guardian anymore. Nothing she said or did suggest she wanted to leave _everything_ behind," _other than everything we had that is._

"So the real question is, do we keep looking for her, or let her live her life as she wants to?" Abe rose his brow to Alberta and me. "Her trust fund holds enough money that she could live comfortably for the rest of her life."

I thought long and hard about his question. My instant reaction is to say yes, we keep looking for her, we make her see how much she means to all of us and bring her home. But in my heart, rooted deep in the soft tissue beating in the middle of my chest, I knew that all I truly want for her is to be happy. If, for now, that means letting her do her own thing, I would. And if in a one, two or ten years she comes back, I would be waiting for her- arms open, and a heart full of love.

"I want her to be happy, no matter what that means," I whispered.

"Good answer," Abe nodded, bringing his hands down on his thighs in a quick slap, he rose from his chair, "I, on the other hand, disagree."

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Happy Sunday Loves!**

 **I hope everyone had a beautiful week/weekend.**

 **I am currently freezing to death slowly here in the CTX, so the question for this week:**

 **What season do you prefer the most?**

 **I am a Summer Lover. I will take 100-degree heat over the cold any day of the week. Which here at home has happened in the same week before. LOL.**

 **Have a wonderful week Loves, and leave your thoughts on the way out!**

 **All My Love,**

 **Dream**


	14. Chapter Thirteen

**Welcome, New Followers! I hope you are enjoying this as much as I am!**

* * *

 _ **Chapter Thirteen**_

 _ **Rose**_

You would think waking at five in the evening is easy, on the contrary, seeing how I went to sleep at noon, it came far too quickly.

"Rose shut that damn thing off!"

"Working on it," I grumbled, finally managed to silence the screeching alarm and roll off my cloud mattress.

Over the last five days, I have spent the daylight hours walking the streets around the hotel. 2nd Avenue showed to be the most promising with several bars and social establishments, it seemed like a good place to start my search.

I have tried contacting Mason again, to no avail, unfortunately, so, for the time being, I will just have to wing it. Adrian was not too pleased with that information, but what could I do? We didn't come this far to walk away without so much as looking around.

Turning on the taps, I prepped for my shower, taking a moment to check in on Lissa. Every morning- or night depending on your view- I pause to peek into her mind, just to make sure she is doing okay. Yesterday and the day before she was moody, but it wasn't enough to cause concern.

Today I caught her still asleep, or she is blocking me, but the former seemed more likely. They must have switched back to Moroi time, meaning she wouldn't be awake for another few hours.

Coming back to myself, I stepped inside the marble tiled shower. Three different shower heads rained blistering hot water over my body. If I ever have the money to build a house, I want a shower like this one. Not only is it big enough that ten people could stand without touching, but an IPad on the wall controlled the temperature and frequency of the waterfall. I didn't even have to move and my whole body would be cleaned at the touch of a button.

"Rose, can you hurry up, I need to go," Adrian wined from outside the door.

"Just a minute," I yelled back. If it hadn't been for the glass walls, I would have just told him to come in, but that wasn't going to happen.

Finishing up faster than I would have liked, I opened the bathroom door to let him in, a towel wrapped tightly around my body.

"Good morning to you too," he flashed his famous crooked smile, "You know, we would be helping the environment if we just showered together."

"Keep dreaming, Ivashkov," I rolled my eyes, leaving him standing in the doorway.

"Every night, Little Dhampir. Every. Single. Night." he deadpanned before shutting the door.

Today I would scout the bar for tonight, come back and gear up for any potential battles, and head back out around ten thirty. One downside I have noticed in this area is the number of alleyways. Every block had one, and the further into Belltown that you went, the darker and dirty they got.

Belltown is just north of the heart of Seattle, and just south of Capitol Hill and Queen Anne. The area is packed with restaurants and bars of varying cultures and tastes. Me personally, I wanted to spend a little time at _'The Crocodile',_ a neat little place with live music and acts. However, in order to find Strigoi, I needed to find the Moroi, so I will be heading to the _Wakefield Bar_ just a few blocks up.

Adrian assured me that would be the place I find the most Moroi. The establishment was classy, yet modern. Red brick walls kept the room dark and cool, dark wood furniture -booths along the left wall, and bar height tables toward the back- and globe lights hung low over the bar -giving the room a soft and calming intimate glow. It is run by humans, but I have a feeling they are in the know about our society and the things that take place behind the closed doors at the back of the building.

Arriving back at the hotel, confident in my current knowledge of the establishment, I was pleased to see Adrian had ordered breakfast -eggs, and toast. I was thankful he didn't order a feast, my nerves were beginning to climb and I didn't want to be hunched over when I needed to be ready to fight.

"Promise me you will call me if anything happens, and you will be safe," he had both his hands on my shoulders, looking me directly in the eye.

"I promise," I nodded, "and you do not leave this hotel, for anything Adrian."

"Yes Ma'am," leaning in he gave me a lingering kiss to my forehead, "I love you, Little Dhampir, come back in one piece."

"I love you too, Adrian." Wrapping my arms around his waist, I drew in his scent, memorized the feeling of his warmth around me.

I didn't want him to see how scared I actually am, but I know he can see my aura and pick up on my unease. Nevertheless, I am going to do this, but if I didn't come back, I needed this extra moment with him.

"Remember your other promise too," I mumbled into his chest.

"I won't need to keep that one, you will be fine."

Our first night here, as much as I tried to lose myself in the comfort of my new bed, I couldn't sleep. Hours upon hours of turning every which way did nothing to settle my mind and heart. So I spent the rest of the night writing letters to everyone I left behind. Lissa, Christian, Mom, Alberta, even my father- though he didn't have a name, just Dad. Ending with the two most important people, Adrian, and Dimitri.

Dimitri was the only one I left anything to when I fled the Academy, he was the only one that deserved a full explanation as to why I did this. But if I didn't make it back, if this mission went belly up and I never saw them again, I needed them to know how much I love them. And possibly most importantly, I needed to apologize. Each one of them deserves an apology, albeit for different reasons, but I left without saying goodbye to anyone. The should know why I did what I did, and that I am sorry for not telling them how much they mean to me before I walked away.

That next morning, I handed him a folder containing all of the letters. His job is to distribute them should I not return. He didn't want to, knowing it made everything we are doing a bit more real, but he promised nonetheless.

"Your faith in me is astounding," I laughed, stepping back from his embrace. "Seriously, though, remember."

"I do, and if it comes down to it, I will."

Sliding my arms into my leather jacket, I secured my stakes and pulled it tight around my chest. Drawing a deep breath, I headed out, "Wish me luck."

"You got this, Rose," he yelled just before the door closed, shutting him safely inside.

 _Wakefield_ was already packed when I walked through the door, leaving me only one place to sit and watch. Tucked next to the bar on the back side was a single person booth, my guess for the lonely patron who wants to hide among the crowd. Perfect for me tonight, only it isn't the best vantage point. I could see the back door clearly, but not the front, or the side in front of the bar where another door sat. I didn't worry too much about the side door, most likely leading to the offices, but I did need a better view of the front.

Ordering a _Gin and Tonic_ , along with a glass of water, I surveyed the room. Most of the patrons were human, but I did see three Moroi men with Guardians come in, taking a seat on my side of the bar.

I watched them for several minutes, chancing small glances over the top of my glass when I felt they wouldn't see. The Guardians that had come in with them placed themselves throughout the room. One by the front door, one by the rear exit, and one, a tall dark skinned behemoth of a man, came toward me.

"Is this seat taken?"

"No, please," I gestured to the empty seat across from me.

"You look a little young to be here," he rose his brow, keeping his voice low, the draw of a southern accent becoming more prominent.

Rolling my eyes, I took a sip of my water, "I assure you I am not."

His eyes searched me, my face, my neck, _my breast_ \- that last one really shouldn't have surprised me, but as a Guardian, he should know better. Even if I put the girls on display tonight for a reason, it should be his charge appreciating my assets, not him. Though his eyes didn't linger, merely passed over as if he was searching for something. And if my assumptions are correct, he won't find what he is looking for.

"Where are you from, I have never seen you here before."

"Just visiting, looking for a friend," I shrugged.

"You're not the type," he shook his head, eyes roaming over my neck and chest again, "you don't have any marks, so what are you really here for?"

"I never said what type of friend," I smiled behind my glass before pulling another small sip.

"Well then," he nodded, realizing I wasn't going to be very forthcoming in this conversation. Rising from his seat, he looked over his shoulder and then back to me, "be careful, Youngin, they ain't the only ones looking for blood around here."

My ears perked up, hope springing in my chest. I hadn't counted on talking to anyone tonight, let alone a Guardian who knew the area, but I am thankful that the cards seem to be in my favor.

"Is it bad in this area?" I attempted to hide my hope, I think I managed just enough for him not to look at me like a crazed person.

"Far worse in Queen Anne, college town and all, but they travel down here from time to time."

"Thanks, I'll be sure to keep a lookout."

He returned to his post, leaving me alone to process. Queen Anne is only fifteen minutes north of the hotel. If I didn't see anything around here in a few days, I know where I will be going next.

I hung around another hour before making my way back toward the hotel. Hailing a cab was much harder than I pegged it to be, so I decided to walk the six blocks back. I am armed, and the clothes I wore were easy to move in should I need to defend myself, from Strigoi or other unwanted advances. With one stake secured in my knee-high boots, and the other tucked next to my ribs in the sleeve of my jacket, both were easily accessible.

I kept my eyes moving, my ears open to the sounds surrounding me. A group of women walked with linked arms, laughing all the while, before entering one of the many bars. Men could be heard from inside, and some are out on the patios, yelling at what I assume to be some sporting event on TV. Couples walking hand in hand out of a restaurant, enjoying an evening stroll through the downtown area.

So many people living normal, happy lives, I envied them. They could go about their days as if nothing in this world could harm them, and I lived as if everything would kill me. I feared every time I stepped outside at night simply because I know of the dangers that lurk in the allies, the monsters that hide in the crowd.

One of those monsters being my brother.

A shiver slide down my spine, the image of Eddie with red-ringed eyes, pale skin, deadly fangs filled my mind once again. I have grown used to seeing him this way, but it still unnerves me every time. I can only hope that when I come face to face with the real thing, I hold true to Dimitri's teachings.

 _Don't Hesitate. Think of them as the monster they are, not the people they had been before._ Easier said than done, Comrade. Easier said than done.

I shook my head, clearing the vivid images away for the time being, and turned right onto Union Street, the hotel came into view, allowing me to breathe a sigh of relief. I may not have encountered Strigoi tonight, but it wasn't a loss in my book. I gained a new insight, allowing that speck of hope to grow just a bit more in finding him.

Sliding my key into the lock, I waited on the green light and opened the door, a shrill scream sending my senses into overdrive. I flipped the light switch next to the door, my eyes scanning the room for threats.

"What the hell, Adrian!"

"You scared me," he laughed, "I think I peed a little." He looked down, inspecting his crotch, with the back of his hand, he swiped across his forehead, "woo, that was a close one, were all good, no leakage."

"God, you're disgusting," I groaned.

Slipping into the bedroom, I disarmed and stored my stakes. Shucking my shoes and jeans in favor of sweats and slippers, and my shirt for Dimitri's St. Basil's hoodie.

"Sorry," he laughed, as I came back into the living room, "how was your night, Little Dhampir? Take on any monsters?"

"No," I plopped down on the couch, grabbing his tub of popcorn I tossed a few pieces in my mouth, "didn't see or 'feel' any, but I did talk to a Guardian."

I had told Adrian on our drive about my 'ability' to _feel_ when a Strigoi is near, he calls it my superpower, I call it annoying. Even if it is an early warning system, it makes me feel like I am going to vomit, not something I am particularly fond of.

Filling him in on the information I obtained from the Guardian, Adrian processed the details, "Well, I say give it a few nights here, then move if nothing comes of it. You wouldn't want to give up before you really started here, who knows if he is just around the corner."

"I know, that's my plan," I grabbed another handful of popcorn, I tossed one at him. "So, why did you scream like a five-year-old girl?"

Picking up my ammo, he slowly placed it on his tongue, making a show out of eating the buttery snack, "I was enjoying some _me_ time," the corner of his mouth lifted into a crooked smile.

"Ew, tell me you are joking," I leaned back.

"Nope, since you won't enable my addictions, I have to take matters into my own hand," a deep laugh rolled through his lips, "pun _completely_ intended by the way."

"Again, you're disgusting. Can't you go do that in the shower like most men?"

He lifted his brow, "Oh- do tell, does a certain Russian..."

"I'm going to stop you right there." Holding up one finger, I silenced him, "I am not discussing this with you."

"Come on, we are just two adults talking about sex, nothing wrong with that."

"It is when he isn't here to defend himself," I drew a deep breath, letting it out in a long, over-exaggerated sigh, "I don't want to talk about him."

"It's okay to miss him, Rose. Just because you wanted to take a different path in life, doesn't mean you can't miss the things you left behind," his voice softened, turning from witty to compassionate in a blink.

"I know, it just..."

"Hurts. I know," he whispered.

I blinked a few times, willing myself not to start crying. Adrian leaned forward, poking my knee, "Hey, you still have me, and I am not going anywhere."

I nodded, pulling in a deep breath, "I think I am going to head to bed, love you, Adrian."

He stood, drawing me up into a hug, and placed a kiss my forehead, "Love you, too, Rose. Sweet dreams."

Tucking myself under the covers, I let a single tear slip from my eye.

I don't deserve him. I don't deserve Dimitri either, not after the way I left things. But I really don't deserve the friendship Adrian has given me. He is my rock, my best friend, and when the time comes, I will have to break his heart too.

* * *

 _ **Author's Note:**_

 **Happy Wednesday Loves!**

 **I hope your week is going swimmingly. I am still slowly freezing to death, and sleep has been nonexistent, but hey, I am here to give you this update so that is a plus.**

 **I hope you all enjoyed our little moments with R &A.**

 **Question: If you won the lottery, which charity are you donating to first?**

 **ST. JUDE CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL- No question.**

 **As always, thank you for the reviews/faves/follows, they truly brighten my day.**

 **Be sure to leave your thoughts on the way out!**

 **And swing by my Facebook page for snips/quotes/and other fun stuff! The link is in my Bio!**

 **All My Love,**

 **Dream**


	15. Chapter Fourteen

_**Chapter Fourteen**_

 _ **Dimitri**_

Let it be known, Ibrahim Mazur is one ruthless man. Especially where his daughter is concerned.

After my, _if I do say so myself, romantic_ confession, he went straight to work on finding Rose. Pavel wouldn't talk to me, though that was not a surprise, he needed time to process. Abe, on the other hand, seemed to ignore everything I said and focused on the task at hand. However, I don't feel I am out of the water with him just yet. Every so often I can feel him watching me like he is evaluating my every move.

Abe had one of his technologically advanced Guardians hack into the security cameras for the bank and the Mall. The ones from the bank only showed Adrian going in, and getting in and out of the Charger they had taken from the Academy.

The mall footage showed much more promise. One of the parking lot cameras caught them switching vehicles. We could see both Adrian and Rose move into the older 2000's model Honda Civic, silver in color, with Oregon license plates.

My first thoughts immediately went to Portland, where she and Lissa lived during their little daring adventure. But I pumped the brakes before thinking too much of it. It could be a coincidence that the car had Oregon plates and not Montana. For all, we know they could be headed to Pennsylvania instead of Portland.

I watched that video over a dozen times - _okay, I'll be honest, more like over a hundred_. God- I fucking miss her. It's been just over a week now, and even though Adrian dream walks me every night to let me know how her night went, whether she fought or not and if she sustained any injuries, it's not the same.

I want to see her. I _need_ to see her. If she would simply call me, hell at this point a text message would suffice, I just want it to be from her. Not Adrian.

Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for him letting me know that she is still breathing. I'm just being selfish for once in my life. I have always put my wants and dreams aside for others, but I don't want to anymore. I want to chase the woman who spun my world on its head, to pull a romantic trope out of a hat and die to try to make it come true. I want to give her the _Hallmark_ love story ending.

But I can't.

Do you want to know why?

It has nothing to do with who her father is _-though he does still scare me more than I like to admit-_ or the fact that I have no idea where she is currently residing, but because she asked me to stay.

When Lissa had told me to take leave to find Rose, I sided with Alberta. Stating the impracticality of it, and the fact that the council wouldn't allow it. But I can't deny the desire I had to leave at the request. I wanted to find her and be with her, join her on the new adventure in the human world.

Then I read her letter.

And my choice was made for me.

Again.

I would stay here with Lissa and be the picture perfect Guardian. All because she asked me too. Had she not, I would have packed up everything, _my whole one duffel bag of belongings,_ and left in search of my Roza.

And I can't be mad at her choices. I can't be angry that she asked me to take care of her best friend because it means she still trusts me. She still cares that Lissa is well protected. And that she wants what is best for me.

I wish I could be mad, simply to make this gut-wrenching pain disseminate. It would make staying here, with her best friend of all people, so much easier to deal with.

"Belikov," Abe's voice startled me from my thoughts.

"Yes Sir," I shake my head, bringing myself back to the here and now.

"Janine is arriving soon, would you go and meet her on the tarmac please?"

"I will accompany you," Pavel spoke up before I could respond to Abe's request.

I simply nodded and headed down to the Motorpool. Pavel hadn't spoken a word to me in the last three days, but I have a feeling he is finally ready to address the elephant looming in the background. I just hope this time it's not with his fist. Lissa had healed my black eye and I am not eager to have to ask her for assistance again.

Our drive to the airstrip passed in silence, the air thick with tension it was difficult to breathe at times. Pavel's fingers flirted with the hem of his shirt, the buttons on the door, anything he could reach to ground himself. I could see he wanted to say something, but maybe he didn't know how, or he didn't know where he wanted to start. If I am being honest, I didn't know either, but the tension was beginning to get to me.

"Pavel," my voice came out rough, clearing my throat, I tried again, "Pavel, I know you are upset…"

"Upset? You think I am upset?" he scoffed, "No, I am _furious_ , Belikov."

 _Gulp._ Okay, maybe that wasn't the best way to start off.

"I do not care that you fell in love with her, I have been there, I understand it. What gets under my skin is the fact that you so easily threw her away."

"I didn't throw her away," I countered with a growl, _how could anyone believe I would discard her like yesterdays trash_ , "I wanted what was best for her."

"And why not let her decide what is best for her?" he turned in his seat, looking me straight in the eye, "tell me, what makes you the person to decide her future?"

 _Because I love her, and I know what waits for her after graduation._ The answer seemed simple in my head, but thinking about his question, I couldn't say those words. Yes, I may know what Guardian life is like, and yes, I may love her enough to want what is best, but he is right, it's not my choice.

"Listen, Belikov, I will admit that I shouldn't have acted out physically toward you. When you first said that it was your fault, I immediately assumed you had taken advantage of her." I opened my mouth to combat, but he held up his hand stopping me.

"I know you, Dimitri, you're a good man, I know you would never do something like that, especially with the history of your father." I ground my teeth at the thought of _him_ , "But as her Uncle, you have to understand my instinct is to protect her. Abe's too. He would have done far worse things had I not made the first move," he chuckled.

"I know," I nodded, knowing he very well is telling the truth.

"But what really angers me is that neither of you acted like adults, and now," he paused, his eyes fluttering closed as he whispered his next words, "we may have lost her forever."

"I know it doesn't change our current situation, but I am sorry. To her, and to you and Abe. I didn't mean for this to happen."

"That's the thing, kid, we never do. We _think_ we are doing what is best, but really all we are doing is lessening our own futures by hiding in fear. Fear of what others will say or think. Fear of what the future could hold if you make this choice or that one. When what we should be doing is accepting what our hearts are telling us, living our lives as if tomorrow doesn't exist."

"You know as well as I do, Pavel, Guardian's can't be together in this world. If two Guardians want to have a life together, they have to leave."

"Not necessarily," he whispered.

I arched my brow, "What do you mean?"

"They choose to leave because staying would require work, and most people aren't willing to put in the effort. Standing up to the bullies of our world will never be easy, but if we ever want to have the freedom they do, someone has too."

"And you think Rose and I could have been those people?"

"Yes, or myself and Alberta, or even Abe and Janine. Guardian's aren't the only ones to have taboo relationships."

I leaned my head back on the headrest, playing over his last words. I hadn't thought about Moroi/Dhampir relationships being as unorthodox as Dhampir/Dhampir, simply because I have never known a Moroi who would _want_ to settle down with a Dhampir partner. Well, other than Tasha.

Though, when you really think about it, if Moroi were allowed to be with Dhampirs without ridicule, our numbers issue would rectify itself. Surely there are enough Moroi out there that wouldn't mind marrying and having a family with a Dhampir, especially the non-royals, and there are enough that wouldn't so the Moroi lines wouldn't suffer either.

Sitting up, I wanted to get Pavel's thoughts, but the sound of a jet engine silenced my questions. Janine had finally landed, and now I have a whole nother problem to deal with.

* * *

There is no wrath that compares to an angry Hathaway woman.

Finding out Abe is Rose's father, I immediately assumed she received her fiery side from him.

I was wrong. So very wrong.

Janine's five foot five frame exploded like an artillery shell, shooting to the sky and erupting into a spray of fire - _minus the beautiful display of colors and shapes_ \- as soon as Abe and Alberta filled her in on exactly what had happened.

When we told her she ran off with Adrian to chase down Eddie -she was a sparkler, sizzling; when I explained that she no longer wanted to be a Guardian -she was a roman candle, firing questions at rapid intervals; and when the cat was released from the bag as to why-

She went full Fourth of July.

I have only experienced the Fourth of July in America once, and the fireworks show I had seen on the TV had nothing on the one right in front of me now. Janine's face flamed red, matching her hair, the core of a flame shinned in her eyes, her hands balling into fists, knuckles turning white from the strain. _Red, White, and Blue...fitting._

"I am going to _kill you_ ," she screeched those last words, jumping over the small table that had served as a barrier through the first half of our discussion.

Much like with Pavel, I would have let her do her worst. Not only am I not going to hit a woman - _I am not my father_ \- but I won't deny it. I won't apologize.

Thankfully, Pavel wrapped an arm around her waist, pinning her arms to her side, before she could do any major damage.

"He has already received his punishment," Pavel chuckled.

"Obviously not, he is still breathing," she yelled, fighting against Pavel's hold.

"Janine, settle down, what's done is done," Abe stepped in.

"He molested my daughter!"

"No, I did not," I jumped to my feet, standing at full height to defend myself. "I would _never_ take advantage of Rose."

"Sit down, Dimitri," Abe shot me a warning look, telling me to let him handle her.

"Janine, do you believe I would let him live if he had?" She didn't answer, her eyes were locked onto me, looking for something to prove her accusation, "I can guarantee you, he did not harm her. Now, let's sit down and discuss what we know, and find our daughter."

"This isn't over, Belikov," she growled.

"Enough," Abe snapped.

Janine blanched at his tone, backing down immediately, allowing us to focus back on the matter at hand.

* * *

"Dude, you're a damn mess," Adrian's voice caught me off guard. "I didn't know someone could feel…" his eyes scanned the area around my body, his head nodding as he mouthed something, "ten different things all at once and show them all individually," he chuckled. "Usually it just looks like a muddled color wheel, but damn, I can see each one."

"Shut up, Adrian," I groaned, "is she okay?"

"Yeah, she called it an early night, said there wasn't much going on."

"Most people aren't out drinking till four AM on Monday nights."

I ran my hand through my hair, taking in the scene around me. I hadn't even realized I had fallen asleep. The last thing I remember was staring at the picture of Rose and me from her room, missing her like a limb, and then I woke up here.

I sat on a plush white couch, a huge flat screen TV in front of me. Dark wood tables accented the pale walls, and floor to ceiling windows behind me. I stood, going to take a look outside. Where ever we are, it has a spectacular view of the bay. I could see charter boats docking and sailing out, moving around each other in a precise dance. A large Ferris wheel spun just to the left, sending its riders high above the lights.

"Where are we," I turned to ask Adrian.

"You tell me, I always let your subconscious pick the dream location." He leaned against the door frame, hands stuffed in his pockets.

I really don't like the way he always appears calm and in control in these dreams, when I am losing my mind wondering if Roza will ever come home.

Looking back outside, "I've never been here before," I mumbled to myself. Pushing my face closer to the glass, I tried to read a sign on a building below.

 _Seattle Aquarium_.

I spun around, looking Adrian square in the eyes, "Seattle?"

A boyish grin spread across his face, and he lifted his shoulders in a small shrug.

"You're in Seattle?" I asked a second time.

"Don't say I never did anything for you," he smirked, and the dream dissolved around me.

I sat upright in my bed, a thin layer of sweat coating my body, my heart hammering in my chest.

 _I know where she is._

"Abe!" I yelled, even though there is no way he could possibly hear me.

Dressing quickly in a T-shirt and sweat-pants, I slipped into my boots and headed to guest housing. The sun hung low to the west, leading me to believe it was around five PM. I hope Abe isn't an angry morning person like Rose.

 _Pound. Pound. Pound._

"Abe, Pavel," _pound, pound._

"It's Dimitri, open up," _pound, pound._

"Come on, wake up!"

Searching my pockets for my keys, I silently cursed myself for leaving them in my room. And my phone.

Taking a chance, I headed toward Alberta's office, hoping she was already awake for the day. Sprinting across the quad, I passed two newer Guardians making their rounds. Neither said anything to me as I ran with purpose toward the Admin building. Not that I would have spared them a moment to answer anyways.

Once I made it to Alberta's door, I performed the knock and open routine, not wasting another second to be able to tell someone, anyone.

A shrill scream sounded to my left, stalling my movements. The room was dark, only the faint glow of the fading sun filtering through the window in the back of the office.

"What the hell, Belikov," Alberta grumbled, coming to stand in front of me. Her hair tousled, and her shirt slightly off center, _maybe I should have waited for an acknowledgment before entering._

"I'm sorry... I ... I didn't mean..." I snapped my mouth shut, stopping myself before I said something I shouldn't, clearing my throat, "Sorry, I was looking for Abe, I have information on Rose."

"What about her," Pavel's voice carried over from the still dark corner. _Well, at least they seem to have made up._

"I just dream walked with Adrian, he showed me where they are," a smile split my face, excitement clear in my voice.

Pavel -shirtless by the way- walked over to Alberta's desk, picking up the phone to call Abe. In a matter of minutes, Abe arrived with Janine on his heels. Once we all settled, I recounted the dream, describing the hotel, the view, the landmarks, everything I could see clear as day as if I had been standing right there with her.

"And you trust that information," Abe rose his brow. _Oh- Rose will be so mad if she finds out he can do that and she can't._

"He wouldn't lie to me," I defended the Royal punk.

Don't get me wrong- I have my own battles to pick with him once we find them, but he wouldn't lie. Adrian is many things -a womanizer, spoiled brat, drunk, addict, the list goes on and on- but I will say one thing, ever since he came into our lives, he has always been honest, sometimes brutally so.

Abe watched me for a moment, "If you're wrong," he started.

"I know," I put both hands up in a surrender pose, "you don't need to describe the details. I promise you, they are in Seattle."

Abe nodded, pulling his phone from his suit jacket - _I swear this man does not own_ normal _clothes-_ and made a call to who I presume is the contact he had going after her.

I paced the office, nerves on end thinking about getting Roza back. On one hand, I am ecstatic to be one step closer in bringing my girl home. On the other, I can't help but feel a tinge of guilt for knowing she doesn't want to. And we are essentially pulling her back into a life she doesn't wish to live.

Why is love so complicated?

I love her so much that I want to hold onto her with everything I am. Bring her home where she belongs- wrapped tightly in my arms, her head on my chest, and her heart beating in time with mine. But- I also love her enough to know I need to let her go.

Is there a way I can do both?

Hold on and let go?

Somehow I don't think it works that way.

* * *

I couldn't wait for night to come, knowing I would get to talk to Adrian again, finally get some answers. Abe had his contact book the first flight to Washington, unfortunately, she couldn't get one tonight, so she would arrive tomorrow afternoon. But all that mattered is that she would be there soon.

And soon, I would see Roza.

Hours passed like days as I waited for the sun to show signs of rising. The field experience was back in full swing, but no amount of mock attacks took my mind off of Rose. I fought Novices on autopilot, one after the other, not losing a single fight.

I have only been beaten once during the training, and it was by Rose. Not that it is surprising, she surpassed her peers long ago, and she knows my weakness, unlike the others.

"Guardian Belikov," Lissa walked up to me in the back of her Moroi Studies class. Her arms wrapped around her books, clinging them to her chest. Her platinum blonde hair had been pulled back today, unusual for her, and her complexion appeared paler than normal.

"Is everything okay, Princess?" I pushed away from the wall, gently gripping her arm, I led her to the corner of the room.

"Have you heard anything new?"

"Nothing concrete, but we are getting closer. Just give us a little more time," bending my knees, I brought myself down to her level, "We will find her, Lissa, I promise."

"Do you think she will come back?" she sniffled.

"I am not sure," I whispered, unable to trust my voice.

"She isn't taking the darkness," her head fell forward, her voice below a whisper. "Are you sure she is okay?"

"Adrian assures me she is. Are you?"

"I will be," she nodded softly, though I had trouble believing her.

"Go take your seat, the class is about to begin."

I watched her walk to her desk, her feet dragging along the tiled floor, her shoulders slumped forward and she kept her head down.

When we first found out Rose had left, Lissa showed no real concern for her as a friend, only as her charge. I can't say for sure that she has had a complete change of heart, knowing Rose isn't shouldering the darkness for her, but based on her current appearance and demeanor, I would like to think she has.

For as long as I have known her, she has always been poised and competent, but without Rose, it's like she is missing a part of herself.

 _I know the feeling, Lissa, I know the feeling._

Returning to my position, I pulled my note pad from the inner pocket of my duster, documenting the Novices who were on 'guard' in the class. Writing down their names, where they stood, and any flaws in their tactics, I tucked the pad back in my duster and prepared to leave.

Alto had set up an attack in the _Culinary Science_ class at two, so I only had a few minutes to cross the building and set up with the others.

One more class.

One more attack.

One more hour.

One more minute.

I counted down each milestone, making the day pass just a bit faster. When the sun began to show it's color on the horizon, I headed straight for bed, anxiously awaiting my nightly talk with Adrian.

Imagine my surprise _-and fear-_ when he didn't show up.

Or the next night.

After the third night without seeing him, I began to panic.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Happy Sunday Loves.**

 **How was your weekend?**

 **Question: Who is your number one, or if you are like me and can't choose just one, top five, book boyfriend/s?**

 **First would be Adrian, duh, but Colby (from Meghan Quinns Blue Line/Perfect Duets) is a close second. Then Bram (The Secret to Dating Your Best Friends Sister- also Meghan's) and Tom/Kyler (Unzipped- Lauren Blakely) are tied for third and forth. And Fifth, Riker (Still Not Yours- Nicole Snow)**

 **Have a blessed week!**

 **All My Love,**

 **Dream**


	16. Chapter Fifteen

_**Chapter Fifteen**_

 _ **Rose**_

Another day.

Another dud.

No Strigoi sighting.

No uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Nothing.

I was beginning to think Belltown is a dead end and I would need to move soon.

Arriving back early from tonight's outing, I was surprised to find my room empty. Adrian nowhere in sight, leaving me fearing the worst. I told him not to leave for any reason, not even to smoke. So where the hell is he?

After checking the bathroom, and the patio, I pulled my phone out to call him. It rang twice in my ear before I heard the preset melody playing from beside his bed. _What the hell, Adrian!_ It isn't bad enough that he left, but he didn't even take his phone. _Who goes anywhere nowadays without a phone?_

I paced the room, should I go in search of him or wait it out here? Maybe he went down to the feeders, though he could have called and they would have brought him one. With as much as he is paying for this room, the staff is willing to bend over backward to make sure he is taken care of. They have told us as much on several occasions already.

None of them knew exactly who he is -since we checked in under our fake names- but they know he has money, and that is all that matters to them.

I'll give him ten minutes, if he hasn't come back by then, I will go looking.

Opening my bedside drawer, I secured my stakes and pulled out the manila folder from Mom. I still hadn't opened it, though I knew I could, something inside me said 'not yet'. I have a feeling a lot of questions would be answered by simply lifting the seal, but right now I need to focus on finding Eddie. Once my mission is complete, I will see what treasures lie within the packet.

Looking around the room, I found a new hiding spot. I move it every few days, hoping to keep Adrian from finding it. He's asked me about it twice now, so I know he is curious as to what information it contains.

Unlacing my boots, I set them in the closet and went to change clothes in the bathroom. Once in my singlet and sleep shorts, I removed my makeup, brushed my teeth and took out my contacts. _Those damn things are annoying as hell._

With my evening routine complete, I dropped my barriers and searched for Lissa. I have been checking on her every other day since I left, thankfully she seems to be doing okay for the time being. Only a few moody days, but nothing to worry about.

Leaving the marble bathroom, I took in the world from her eyes. She is in the attic with Christian, sitting in the clawfoot chair by their window. Lissa perched on Chris's lap, head resting against his shoulder while she played with the button on his shirt.

"Where do you think they are?" she whispered.

"I don't know, they could be anywhere," Chris kissed her hair, wrapping his arms tighter around her waist, "but I am sure they are fine."

"I just wish she would call, or even send us a text to let us know."

"Belikov says she is okay, we just need to take his word for it."

A searing pain shot through my chest at the sound of his name. I have been doing rather well not thinking about him or speaking his name since we arrived. I couldn't handle the images, the memories of us floating around in the silent space. I didn't want to forget him, lord knows I couldn't if I tried, but I didn't want to be reminded of him every minute of every day. So I stopped saying his name, only referring to him as _him_. I put away his St. Basil's hoodie, refusing to sleep in it _just one more time_. I wouldn't even drink the Hot Chocolate Adrian got me every morning because all I could think of was, _'the secret is doubling'._

But I couldn't avoid the dreams, or the flashbacks of our training while I fought. Truth be told, I needed him in those moments. His signature _'Zen Life Lessons'_ rolling through the back of my mind, keeping me focused and trained in on my target. If it wasn't for his teachings, I doubt I would have made it this far. Hell, I would have never made it out of Spokane, let alone through the battle and now here in Seattle.

"I know, but I want to hear it from her. Besides, he has been out of it since she left."

"Yeah, how can you tell," Chris laughed, "he is the most stoic person I have ever met."

Her shoulders raised in a small shrug, "I can't get a decent read on his aura, it's as if his emotions are too erratic for me to it pick up."

 _When did she learn to read auras? Before I left, she struggled with it as much as Adrian did with healing._

"Besides, even if he hasn't outright said it, I can hear the pain in his voice when I ask about her," she sighed, her eyes fluttering closed.

"It's understandable though if you ever up and left me, hell, I don't know what I would do."

Lifting her head, she looked into his eyes, "that will never happen," she whispered, bringing her lips to his.

 _And that is my cue to leave._

Coming back to myself, I felt the guilt of my decisions weigh heavily on my heart. It happens every time I leave her, only this time, it feels worse. If Lissa can see the change in Dimitri, that means others can too. He has always held the best 'Guardian Mask' of anyone I have ever met. If it is beginning to fail, it's only a matter of time before others start to question. _And before he breaks completely._

I wholeheartedly believe even if I hadn't left, we still wouldn't have been able to make it work in the long run. Dhampirs aren't supposed to have relationships, let alone with each other. We would be mocked, shamed and condemned for it. Even if we stayed together, we wouldn't have a happy life. The system would make sure of it. It's better to end it now than to dig ourselves in deeper.

Staring at my reflection, _Rosalyn's reflection_ , I give myself the same pep talk that I do every night- _You made the right choice. This is for you. Not for_ him _. He will move on, in time, and you will find your own forever._ Each night the words become easier to say, yet the hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach never goes away.

With one last look at myself, I sighed deeply and headed back out into the bedroom, just as Adrian walked through the main door. I crossed my arms over my chest, tapping my foot on the plush carpet. If I had to guess, he had spent some time downstairs at the bar.

He wore a blood red silk shirt and black trousers, standard attire for any of the restaurants or bars, and his hair was disheveled like he spent the vast majority of the night running his fingers through the short strands. Not to mention the slight sway in his steps, he definitely had one too many.

"Eh hmm," I cleared my throat loudly, drawing his attention.

His head popped up, "Rose," he staggered backward, "You're back early, how did it go?" he spoke in cursive, his words rolling loosely off his tongue.

"I am more interested in where you were? I told you not to leave the room while I was gone."

"I… I just went to have a drink," he pointed toward the door, showing me where he had been, "I didn't leave the hotel, I was safe," his arms shot out like an Umpire calling a nail-biting slide at home plate.

I sighed deeply, wanting nothing more than to rip him a new one for not listening to me, but it would do me no good right now. He is far too intoxicated, I doubt he will even recall this conversation in the morning.

"Come on, let's get you changed and in bed," I wrapped one arm around his waist, leading him in the direction of the bathroom.

If the scent of whiskey and his inability to walk a straight line hadn't already confirmed his level of intoxication, his lack of smart-ass remarks would have. Not a single joke or comment about me undressing him, helping him in the bathroom, or tucking him into bed.

Instead, I got an apology.

"I'm sorry, Little Dhampir," he whispered, his eyes already closed, "so sorry."

"It's alright, Adrian," I spoke calmly, pulling the covers up around him, "get some sleep."

"I love you, Rose."

"I love you too, Adrian." Leaning over, I kissed his forehead and turned off the lamp.

He mumbled something else, but I couldn't make out the words. In the time I have known him, I have never seen him this intoxicated. And that is saying something because he _always_ has something in his system.

Folding back my own covers, I flipped off the rest of the lights and laid myself down for the night. My mind raced around in circles, wondering if I should stay in Belltown for a few more days, or go straight to Queen Anne. What happened to make Adrian drink so much, his apology sounded as if he was sorry for more than indulging a little too much. And last, but most certainly not least, if Dimitri really is hurting as much as Lissa makes it sound.

Part of me wanted to reach back out to her, hoping she was near him and I could see for myself. Yet, the other part of me said it would only make me feel worse. And Vlad knows I can not handle any more guilt right now. I need to stay focused on Eddie.

He is the reason I am here, and until I find him, nothing else matters.

* * *

After two more nights in Belltown, and nothing coming of it, I moved north to Queen Anne. The Guardian from _Wakefield_ assured me there were Strigoi lurking around here, and he hadn't been wrong. Not in the least.

The first night I encountered only one, he is no longer living, or would it be un-living? Is that a thing? You know what I mean. He's dead. Without much of a fight too, shame really, I have been itching to spar with someone, anyone at this point. My body craves the physical exertion and endorphin rush of fighting. _Or maybe it just craves the man I used to do it with_.

The second night proved to be more promising with a total of three fights, all of which I drew the victory. None of the creatures could, or would tell me about their activity in the area. And not for my lack of trying, but fighting solo doesn't exactly give you an upper hand to coax information out of your opponents. It's a kill or be killed world when you're alone out here, and I refuse to be the latter.

I have tried calling out to Mason, but I either A: don't carry enough darkness to reach him, or B: he has finally moved on and _can't_ be reached anymore. I prayed for the former, knowing I could acquire more from Lissa and rebuild, but I am betting on B being the likely cause. Father Andrew's had said spirits may stick around forty days after death. Mase had been around far longer than that already, so it was time he moved on.

I am both disappointed, yet relieved. I hoped Mason would be able to help me find my way, but he deserves peace, and it is about time he got it.

"Can I get you anything else, love," the bartender, Brayden, asked.

"No thanks, I think I am going to head out for the night," I pulled a twenty from my clutch and laid it on the bar for him. "See you around, Brayden."

Swiveling on my stool, I hopped down just as he reached out and grabbed my arm. I tensed under his grip, my eyes locking onto his- the golden glow of the lights making them appear darker than normal.

"Be safe out there, wouldn't want anything happening to you, love," the way his words rolled from his lips, lacking the normal warmth of his voice, sent a shiver down my spine.

Brayden is a nice enough person, for a human bartender that is, but something about him just rubs me the wrong way. Maybe it's the way he seems to know more about me than I would like. Or maybe it the way his fingers are gripping my arm to the point it hurts.

"Always," I throw him a fake smile, pulling my arm from his grasp. "Have a nice night."

He pulls the towel from his shoulder, picking up my half-empty glass of Dr. Pepper, and wipes the counter, his eyes trained on my retreating form. I can feel him watching me even after I walk out the door. Heading west, I walk three blocks down to the twenty-four-hour diner my car is currently parked at.

The owner, Mikey, is a retired Guardian, he spent thirty years overseas with a Drozdov Lord, before coming back to his hometown to open this place five years ago. The first time Adrian and I walked through the door, he knew immediately what we were, and personally sat us down, cooking us a fabulous meal all his own.

Adrian and I stayed with the cover that we left the Moroi world to marry and live our own lives, to which he bought with ease. He himself had once dreamed of doing the same thing, but like most Guardians, didn't have the financial resources or connections to leave everything behind. Since that night two weeks ago, Mikey insists that we come by at least twice a week to check in. Which is why I walk into the diner, rather than climbing straight into my car to head back home.

The smell of grease assaults my nose as soon as I open the door, the sound of laughter from a group of teenagers in the corner booth fills the room. Looking through the kitchen window, I could see Mikey standing in front of the grill, two spatulas in his hands.

"Hey Mikey," I call out.

"Rosie," he bellowed, his bright blue eyes meeting mine, "Where's Jett?"

"At home," I smiled, "figured I would pick up a late night snack."

"Absolutely, _Sweet Pea,_ the usual?"

"That would be perfect, thank you, Mikey."

A chime from the door alerted me to someone else coming in, so I moved to sit at our booth to wait for my order. Fishing my phone from my clutch, I texted Adrian to let him know I was picking up dessert and would be home soon.

Our friendship over the last few weeks has become my everything. Not that I don't miss _him_ or Lissa and the rest of our unconventional family, but Adrian has really stepped up for me. For that, I am thankful and truly blessed. He always makes sure I have what I need, be it clothing, food, or any other human necessity. We always say 'Love You' before separating or hanging up the phone, because I fear one of these times, it will be the last. I want the last thing I tell anyone to be something positive. Other than not having found Eddie yet, this new life isn't so bad.

There is just one thing missing.

Drumming my fingers on the table top, I checked my phone to see if Adrian had responded, yet, nothing. God- I hope he isn't drinking himself into oblivion again. The last three nights I have pulled him out of the bar after coming back from my search. Something is up with him, and I don't know what to do about it.

Pocketing my phone, I looked out the window into the dark sky. The moon is nonexistent tonight, but the stars are plentiful. The lights of the city drown most of them out, but I will take what little I can get at this point. That speck of peace in my mind and heart as I take in the beautiful backdrop.

It's been just shy of a week since I started my search here in Queen Anne, and though I have actually encountered Strigoi here, I still haven't found the one I am looking for. As I said before, it's not easy trying to get information out of someone who is hellbent on killing you. _So much for a cake walk, right?_

With each day that passes, each time the sun rises, I can't help but think of him out killing mere hours before. Each night I close my eyes, red ringed hazel ones fill my dreams.

Taunting me.

"Rose?" a feminine voice drew me from my thoughts. I turned to see a young woman, I'd say around my age, with a brown folder clutched to her chest. Her dark blonde hair fell just past her shoulders, and a gold tattoo covered her left cheek. Beige slacks and a white blouse covered her slim frame. She was as thin as any Moroi I have ever met, only she isn't a Moroi. She's human.

"Yes?"

"Rose, as in Rosemarie Hathaway?"

 _How the fuck….._

I gave my best fake smile, attempting to hide my unease, "Um, no, Rosalyn Steele."

"Oh, I am so sorry," she pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, looking down at her folder, then back to me, "I'm sorry," she muttered once more before heading out the door.

I watched her climb behind the wheel of a grey Honda CRV. Taking note of her plate, I stored it away in my memory, you know, just in case. The interior light clicked on, and she pressed her head to the steering wheel. _Odd._ Lifting back up, she appeared to be talking to someone, her eyes meeting mine through the window again.

"What did you do to have the Alchemist tracking you down, _Sweet Pea?_ "

"The what?" I turned to look at Mikey.

"Alchemist," he tilted his forehead toward the parking lot, "they didn't tell you about them?"

Looking back out the window, the parking spot she had been in two seconds ago now empty, "No, who are they?"

Pulling his towel from his shoulder, he wiped his hands several times, "In a nutshell, they know about us, _all of us_ , and work in the human world to keep our existence a secret."

"But why would they be looking for me?"

"Maybe it's not _you_ they are looking for," he rose his brow, "because you aren't Rosalyn, are you?"

"Of course I am, I know my own identity," I scoffed, avoiding eye contact.

Mikey scooted into the bench across from me, folding his hands on the table he leaned close and whispered, "If I didn't know your mother, I just might believe you." My eyes snapped to his, I could feel them pushing forward on the verge of falling out.

"How do you know her?" I avoided saying names, just in case he and I were not on the same sheet of music.

"Our charges are friends, Lord Drozdov used to visit Lord Szelsky in Nepal frequently," he chuckled, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Are you saying…." I left it open, to which he ran with and nodded his head. "Oh that's just gold, do their wives know?"

"I doubt it," he sat back, another rich chuckle rumbling through his chest, "but what they do in their free time was none of my concern. Anyway, that's where I met your mother, though I knew of her before, I had only met her a few times during my last few years with Drozdov."

"And she talked about me?"

He nodded, "Did you think she wouldn't?"

"She never seemed to care before, or now," I fell back in my seat, willing the faux leather booth to swallow me whole.

Mom and I don't have a typical 'Mother/Daughter' relationship, in fact, she went years without speaking to me, not even a birthday card or Christmas gift until it got the point, I didn't wonder or care if she was still out there somewhere. I resented her, and some days, I still do.

"A mother always cares," he pointed a finger, solidifying his point, "no matter how they show it, they do."

"Right," I rolled my eyes.

"But even that doesn't explain why the Alchemist are around," he paused, shifting forward again, "Tell me, _Sweet Pea_ , what is really going on with you? You can trust me."

Could I though? Can I really afford to let someone else in who may or may not be on my side? Adrian is the only person in the world I trust at this very moment. My best friend. My partner in crime. He has been one hundred percent on my side, honest and loyal to me, can I jeopardize that? And if I let Mikey in, how much do I tell him? The whole story? Everything from leaving the love of my life, friends, charge, and schooling behind to chase down Eddie. Or only that I left school because the ghost of my friend told me to go after the Strigoi version of our brother.

"In a nutshell," I chuckled, using his phrase from earlier, "my friend was turned during the attack at my school. I am trying to find him and not everyone agrees with my choice." _Understatement of the year._

"I can see why- it's extremely dangerous to be out on your own. Several kids I grew up with were dead before their twenty-first birthday because they were doing the same thing. Is that the life you want? To die before you have a chance to really and truly live?"

"No," my answer immediate, "I want to help people, starting with Eddie."

His kind blue eyes held mine, silence hanging in the air between us, "Then let me help you."

"Mikey," I whispered. I wanted to say _'you can't, it's dangerous'_ but that would only lead him to shoot me a _take-your-own-advice-sweat-pea_ look. And I couldn't say that I can't let him risk his life for me, or Eddie, because again, _that look._ So, the best route would be, "how exactly?"

"Simple, I hunt with you. I have a bit of experience," he turned his head, showing a neck full of _molnija_ marks, "Fighting solo doesn't allow you to stop and think, it's fight or flight. I can help you gather information on your friend, seeing how I am three times your size, it would be easier for me to hold them down."

That isn't a lie. Mikey gave _him_ a run for his money in height and build. He stood just under six-six and had to weight close to 250 pounds by the amount of muscle this man carried. Even at his age of 53, I am sure he could keep up with the best of us. Plus, he is trained, he knows the ins and outs of the city, and he probably knows the best places to look for Strigoi.

God- I hope I don't regret this, "Alright."

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Happy Wednesday Loves!**

 **I hope everyone is having a wonderful week.**

 **Thank you for all the new faves/follows/reviews, I truly appreciate those who take the time to leave their thoughts and follow along. It is a huge bright spot in my otherwise hectic life.**

 **Question: Night Owl or Early Bird?**

 **I used to be a Nightwalker, working midnight shifts from 11 PM to 7 AM, but now, I am neither. I am simply stuck between the two in a permanent state of exhaustion. This adulting thing sucks most days, lol.**

 **As always, I love you guys, and leave your thoughts on the way out!**

 **Dream**

 **P.S - Does anyone want to guess whose chapter is coming next? hehe. I'll just say, it's my favorite!**


	17. Chapter Sixteen

_**AHHHHHHH! (a million super smile emjois)**_

 _ **That is all, enjoy!**_

* * *

 _ **Chapter Sixteen**_

 _ **Adrian**_

I'm going to level with you.

I fucking hated my life.

There.

I said it.

But you already knew that, didn't you? Damn, guess I failed at hiding my animosity toward the cards I have been dealt.

Now, I know what you are thinking, _woe is me_ , right? How can the rich Royal hate to have life handed to him on a silver platter? The answer is simple really, it's too easy.

Life is supposed to be full of events that build you as a person. Trials that test your strength, resolve, and ability to adapt. Not lay everything out for you so you can glide through life without ever learning the value of working for something.

Like with Rose.

I have never- _and I mean that literally_ \- had to work at getting the girl. I flashed a smile, wiggled my eyebrows, and _bam_ \- instant lay. The practically begged for me to take them to bed. And when morning came, they knew to leave without me telling them to.

But Rose. Oh- she threw everything I thought I knew about women out the window, catching a ride on Aladdin's magic carpet to never be seen again.

She made me work to gain her trust, her friendship, and I will be damned if I let my hard work go to waste by letting her walk away now. I may not be the brightest crayon in the damn box, but I would be a fool to _not_ take this chance. Even though I don't fully agree with Rose's intentions, in fact, I think it's fucking insane, but there is no way I am letting her go at it alone.

With that being said, explain to me why I feel like I am committing murder or something equally as awful for running away with her?

I should be ecstatic that she is leaving the school - _specifically, him_ \- behind in search for something greater. But I don't. I feel like crap. There is this nagging sensation in the back of my mind that says I shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't be supporting Rose leaving school, abandoning her best friend, her education, and her lover.

Then again, I wouldn't be me if I didn't use her pain for my own self-gain.

Yeah. I know. I'm a selfish asshole, you don't have to tell me, I am well aware. But in my defense, I have valid reasons for wanting to disappear from the limelight of being the Queen's great-nephew -the only child of _Nathan_ and _Daniella Ivashkov_.

You see, there are things about me you don't know. For instance, did you know I started seeing _auras_ when I was ten?

Yeah. Ten.

Talk about thinking you are going fucking crazy. Waking up one morning to realize that people have these bands of color around them, ever-changing, but staying the same.

Doesn't make sense, does it? Welcome to my world.

I tried to talk to my mom, but she wrote off my unusual vision as watching too much TV. And forget talking to Nathan about anything, he could care less if I was bleeding from my eyes, let alone seeing colors that shouldn't be there.

As time went on, I learned a little more about _auras_ , what the colors mean, and how to turn it off when it became too much for any one person to handle. But turning off my 'vision' didn't stop the darkness from growing inside of me.

Each day that passed, with or without, using my element, I felt closer and closer to the brink of insanity. As a teen, I thought maybe it was puberty, or rebellion, driving the madness in my mind. That is until I learned a little about the negative side effect of the unique gift I had been given.

I spent many days and nights in the Court Library, reading and searching the internet, pulling any and every inkling of information I could about what was happening in my head. That's when I discovered the rare element -Spirit. I spent years trying to figure it out, only to draw the conclusion, it is unpredictable. Not all users possess the same attributes, and not all users manipulate it the same way. But there is one thing we all have in common.

The Darkness.

The use of Spirit means we give a piece of ourselves every time we use it, no matter the magic trick we are performing. It's an element driven from our very souls. Why I had to be one in a million to carry this burden, I don't know. I grew up thinking I was being punished for having too much.

Too much money.

Too many clothes.

Too many girls.

To the point I wanted it to stop.

I wanted everything to stop.

I had reached a point where life wasn't worth living anymore. Piece by _fucking_ piece, my soul fell apart, my heart turning to stone, and my mind taking a trip down Diagon Alley. I was lost, unable to find my way home.

Hence, the alcohol, the cigarettes, and the one night stands - _well, that last one would have happened anyway, I am a man after all_. They became my lifelines. The only thing keeping me from diving off the deep end wearing cement shoes.

I am not proud that I became reliant on these vices to make it through a night, a week, hell, years, but I couldn't see any other way. Well, at the time I couldn't. Now though, now, I have Rose.

I know what you are thinking- _she doesn't love you, Adrian, wake up and smell the Folgers._

If I told you I know this, would you believe me?

No?

Well trust me, I know. And I am okay with it.

When I first met her, on the porch at the Ski Lodge, I remember thinking, _Holy Shit._

First of all, she's fucking gorgeous. I couldn't _not_ acknowledge that. Even with a black eye and so many layers of clothes, looking like the _Michelin Man,_ she was breathtakingly beautiful _._

Secondly, as soon as I opened up to see her aura, the black ring intrigued me. But she pushed me off before I could ask her about it. Naturally, I had to go back for more, pulling her into a dream where she couldn't just walk away from me. And when she said those two words, explaining the shadows that encompassed her aura, everything clicked. I was drawn to her, her beauty and resilience, but most of all, to her darkness.

She was surrounded by shadows, yet, she shinned. Her aura - _under the blackness-_ rivaled the sun, she exuded this charisma, appeal that you just couldn't help but be drawn into. Her wit caught me by surprise too, how quickly she put me in my place -I loved it. But that isn't even the best part.

Meeting Rose did far more than cause blood to rush down below my waist, it gave me something I _never_ had.

Hope.

For the first time in my life, I felt like I wasn't alone, that there was someone else out there who is dealing with the same pain I am. Who knows the struggles I have faced. Who understands what it is like to slowly lose your mind.

So, I clung to that hope, that sense of purpose, and followed them back to St. Vlad's to attempt to uncover more about my special abilities. And I didn't want to risk losing that.

I believe Rose is the key to unlocking the many mysteries that is the element _Spirit._ Since meeting her, I have learned more than I had in all my years before. Hell, I found another bonded pair because of - _okay, more so, for-_ her. So if I had to lie, cheat, and steal to keep her in my life, I would. No questions asked. No restrictions. Nothing. I would do everything in my power to have Rose Hathaway by my side.

Right now, that means being her partner in crime. Helping her break out of school and chase down the Strigoi version of her friend. Providing her with a place to lay her head after a night out hunting, and taking care of her beaten and bruised body.

I know I don't stand a chance at winning her heart. The first time I saw her and Belikov next to each other...well, to put it simply, it was blinding. The way they shine together, the love that swirled around them, it is undeniable.

Does that mean I am going to refrain from making inappropriate jokes, or throwing sexual innuendos into everyday conversation… Hell no. I am who I am, love me or leave me, the choice is yours.

But let me ask you. Knowing what you know now, do you see why I jumped at the chance to run?

It isn't a ploy to get Rose away from Dimitri, to swoop in like a knight and shining armor and make her see me for who I really am - _to make her want me._

It was about starting anew. For the both of us.

To chase our own dreams, our desires, even if we - _she-_ have to give up a few to do it. We understand each other in that aspect. And I am one lucky son of a bitch that she is allowing me to wonder this journey with her.

So, again, I ask, why do I feel like I am committing an act against God?

The answer -because I am lying to my best friend.

Ever since we arrived at the hotel, I have been in touch with Dimitri, dream walking with him once a day just to let him know how she is doing. Is it the _right_ thing to do, eh, debatable. But I felt like he deserved that much. To at least know she is alive and well.

But a few nights ago, I messed up. I gave him something I didn't mean too.

Our location.

I played it off, making him believe I was trying to help him, but I know I fucked up. I didn't have the energy to think of somewhere to take us. I typically let him choose the location, playing off his subconscious and just roll with what comes to his mind. But he was in a really dark place, a place I didn't want to be.

One I know all too well.

And when he looked me dead in the eye and asked, I couldn't lie. Don't ask why, because it should have been easy to come up with an excuse for the location of our dream. Yet, I couldn't. I couldn't look at him, face full of hope, and tell him no.

Was it wrong of me? Showing him where we are, allowing him a little reprieve in his constant worry of her? I don't think so, but I doubt Rose will see it the same way. She will see it as a betrayal. I would honestly be surprised if she didn't chop my head off, _both of them._

Flipping my phone in my hand, I wore a hole in the carpet, debating what to do next. Tell Rose, or call him and beg him not to show up unannounced.

Can you guess which route I take?

Yeah, I'm digging my grave a bit deeper, but you can't blame a guy for trying to right his wrongs, can you?

"Belikov," his deep accent carries through the speaker.

"It's Adrian," I sigh, readying myself, "can we talk?"

"What the hell, Adrian!" he growled, I could hear a door open and shut, the sound of shuffling, and then yelling, "Where have you been? Why haven't you dream walked me…"

I held the phone away from my ear, letting him rant for a moment. I knew the radio silence would kill him, but the guilt - _and Jim Beam-_ running through my veins kept me away. Keeping secrets from Rose is eating me alive, yet I can't seem to stop them from piling up.

"Adrian!"

"I'm here, are you done yelling?"

"Are you going to answer my questions? Is she okay?"

"She's fine, I am just not able to dream walk right now," I could almost hear his eyes roll, he knows if I am lacking my abilities it's due to something in my system, " but I needed to ask you something."

The amount of whiskey in my blood has frozen my abilities, not that I really mind. Jim has been a very loyal friend to me for the last few nights, keeping the darkness at bay while I try to figure out what the hell to do now.

"I know this is a lot to ask of you, but please, don't come after her."

"That isn't an option now. You hadn't reached out in days, _days Adrian_ , Abe already has half a dozen people headed to Seattle."

"Shit," I mutter, gripping the back of my neck tightly. "Wait, who's Abe?"

"Her father, she didn't tell you about him?" he sounded surprised, and a tad guilty, "did she open the packet from her mother yet?"

"No, not that I know of."

I stood from the couch and went into the bedroom. Rose had mentioned her mother leaving her a folder with what she assumes is information about her Moroi father, but as far as I know, she hadn't opened it yet.

Opening drawers, looking under the mattress, and shuffling clothes in the dresser and closet, I couldn't find it.

 _Think Ivashkov, think._ Where would she keep something she didn't want anyone, _including you_ , to find….

My eyes drift around the room, locking onto the small bookcase in the corner of the living area. Pulling the outdated novels from the shelves, I located the file envelope pressed behind them on the bottom shelf.

Smart move, Rose. I would have never touched these books, not quite my style.

 _Historical Romance._

 _World War II history._

 _Twilight -_ now that one made me laugh out loud. Sparkling vampires, _come on now,_ give us some damn credit.

Holding the phone with my shoulder, I moved back to the couch and opened the end of the file. Everything had been clipped together into categories. Rose's birth information, Abe's will, bank statements, and a sealed letter.

"Oh, Shit," I mumbled.

"Yeah…." Dimitri drug out the word, "Do you understand why I won't stand in his way?"

I couldn't help but laugh, loud and deep, "You are so screwed, Belikov. Did you tell him?"

"He is aware of our situation, yes," he answered formally.

"And you're still breathing? Is there anyone on this planet that _can_ be pissed off at you?"

"You're not funny, Adrian. And if you must know, Pavel, her Uncle, made his opinion on the matter known."

"Damn, I wish I had been there, did you shit yourself?"

"No," he growled.

"Not even a little," I chuckled.

"Can we get back to the reason you called?"

He's right, all joking aside, I had called for a reason. But for the life of me, I can't remember it. Thinking about Dimitri facing off with Mazur, _ha, I just can't_. I would have bought front row tickets to that show. Imagine Michael Jackson in the 'Thriller' video- eating popcorn with a stupid ass grin on my face, while everyone else is screaming.

"Adrian," Dimitri's agitated tone brought me back.

I sighed, running my hand through the short hair on top my head, "Look, I don't know what he is expecting from her if he finds her, but you know that she doesn't want to go back."

"She needs too, though, she doesn't have the options you do, Adrian."

"Looking at this bank account she does," I mumbled, "there is more money in there than I have in our current account. A lot more. She could completely start over," I paused, drawing a deep breath, "do you _really_ want to stop her from finding her purpose?"

"I don't know," he sighed, I can imagine the emotions running through his mind, his heart. "I told Abe that I want her to be happy, even if it means I have to let her go. He doesn't seem to think that is a valid answer. _He_ wants to find his daughter, what happens after that," he drifted off with a long sigh.

"Well," my next words lodged in my throat as the door to our room opened. It was just after midnight, she shouldn't be back yet.

 _Fuck, fuck, fuck,_ "Hold on," I whispered, rising from the couch and heading outside to the small patio that overlooked the bay. "She came back early, fuck," I mumbled.

"Is she okay?" Dimitri rushed out.

"I'm sure, I just wasn't expecting her back so soon." Gripping the back of my neck, I turned my face toward the night sky, drawing in a deep breath to settle myself back down. "Look, I have to go, but please, try and talk to him. If nothing else, make him see that no matter what he does, she isn't coming back to the Moroi world."

"As long as you promise me one thing."

I nodded, though he couldn't see me, "What is it?"

"Promise me," his voice cracked, "Promise me you will always be there for her. If I can't protect her, I need you to."

"I will," I nodded, "I will."

"Thank you, Adrian."

We disconnected our call, and I remained on the patio for a few more moments trying to figure out this feeling in my chest, the brick sitting in my stomach. I don't quite understand why his faith in me hits me like a MAC truck. If I was him, I would not be able to roll over so easily and let another man run off and live with my woman. Yet, he is. Because he loves her enough to let her go, even though I can tell it is killing him inside.

I had asked him if anyone can truly be pissed at him, hate him for any reason.

No.

No, they can't.

Myself included.

I opened the door of the patio, pocketing my phone and thinking of a quick lie to tell Rose if she asked who I was talking too. _You'll lie to her, but not to him, how is that right, Adrian?_ I shook my head, clearing my throat to drown out the sound of my conscience.

"Sorry, that was Auntie, I guess…" My words died on my tongue.

I tried to open my vision to see Rose's aura, but the whiskey hadn't worn off yet. However, I didn't need to see it anyway, her body language spoke louder than the colors ever could.

 _I'm in trouble._

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **OMFG! I have been DYING for this Chapter.**

 **I hope you enjoyed a look into my Adrian's mind.**

 **Question: If money was no issue, where would you travel to?**

 **(Question courtesy of Monkey(my nephew))**

 **I dream of taking a European Cruise, starting in New York, and traveling to Barcelona- with half a dozen stops along the way. After that, I want to travel all over Eastern Europe, before taking a cruise back to the US. (I don't fly, so a ship is the only way I will EVER make it around the world.)**

 **Have a wonderful week, Loves. Wednesday is the next update, and you are NOT going to want to miss that!**

 **All My Love,**

 **Dream**


	18. Chapter Seventeen

_**A little on the shorter side. I hope you enjoy none the less.**_

 _ **Thank you to everyone who has been reading and reviewing. Your support and criticism mean a lot to me. Keep them coming.**_

* * *

 _ **Chapter Seventeen**_

 _ **Rose**_

I returned to the hotel with two to-go boxes, one with apple pie- Adrian's- and one with a double serving of peach cobbler- all mine. I told Mikey to come over tomorrow, or later today, depending on how you look at it, so we could talk more. I really didn't like the idea of adding more people to my web of fuckery, but I could do much worse than Mikey.

Sliding my key into the lock, I waited for the electronic click and green light before pushing the door open. Adrian sat on the couch, his phone glued to his ear, a look of shock and pain on his face. He rose from the couch, heading in the direction of the patio mumbling to whoever was on the other end.

Setting the takeout containers on the table, I looked over the papers he had spread out, and the familiar envelope opened on the end. I peered at the documents, my breath drawing up short. A birth certificate, _my_ birth certificate- with a name listed for the father. Ibrahim Mazur. Not a Royal name -not sure if I felt better or worse with that knowledge- and not one that I recognize.

Adrian cleared his throat, "Sorry, that was Auntie, I guess…" he paused, his eyes following mine to the table, "Rose…" I cut him off.

"What is this?" fixing him with my famous Hathaway stare, "You went through my things?"

"I.. I.." he stammered, no doubt threading together a lie of some sort, "I'm sorry." I crossed my arms over my chest, "I remember you saying something about it, and I was wondering what it was, and you still hadn't opened it, so I thought…" he continued to ramble.

Tuning him out, I returned to look over the rest of the contents from the packet. Next to my birth certificate laid a stack of bank statements, a copy of Ibrahim's will and testament, a sealed letter envelope.

Sliding my thumb under the seal, I pulled out several sheets of paper,

 _Dear Rosemarie, or do you prefer Rose…_

 _I am sorry I have been absent….._

 _Many enemies have kept me away, in order to keep you safe…_

 _Your mother and I decided it was best that you be sent as far away from me as possible…_

 _Alberta promised to take good care of you…_

 _She sends me updates every six months…._

 _I love to see who you are growing up to be…_

 _I can't wait to see you again…_

 _Uncle Pavel and I will be attending your graduation…._

 _I love you, Rosemarie. I know that may be hard to believe, but I always have, and I always will._

 _Love, Baba (that means Dad in Turkish, but you can call me whatever you like.)_

 _P.S-Don't be upset with your mother or Alberta, I am the reason things are the way they are…_

I scanned through the letter twice, not believing the words he had written. Most, if not all, Dhampirs grow up never knowing their Moroi parent simply because that's the way it goes. We are the bastard children of the world. But he wanted to be a part of my life, and for whatever reason, he wasn't.

 _And now he won't be, because you left._

My instant reaction is regret. I have wanted to know about him my entire life and I have lost the only chance I had at meeting him because of the choices I made.

He was coming to meet me at Graduation.

He has been keeping track of me this whole time.

He cares.

He loves me.

Sitting myself down in the armchair, I stared at the third to last line - _I love you, Rosemarie. I know that may be hard to believe, but I always have, and I always will._

"Rose," Adrian kneeled in front of me, his hands resting on my knees.

"What have I done, Adrian?"

I have asked him that more than once since we left, but this time, it feels different. Before it was a question easily answered. I left Lissa and Dimitri to find Eddie, to take a new path in life that didn't involve torturing myself every day by being so close to him, yet unable to be with him the way I want too; to become something more than a servant, a robot, who has no voice. I wanted to make a difference, to act out against the demons of our world, not sit back and wait from them to attack first.

Now though, I have thrown away the one thing I have craved since childhood.

He squeezed my knee, bringing one hand up to lift my chin, his emerald eyes, full of love and understanding meeting mine, "You did what was best for _you_ ," he paused only a moment, "May I?" He gestured toward the letter.

Handing it to him, he sat on the coffee table and began reading, while I sat back in my chair, drawing my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around my shins. It is a desperate attempt at holding myself together, for the time being, knowing this feeling ricocheting around in my chest would soon destroy me.

There was something different about the pain I am currently feeling about my father than I felt about mom or Dimitri. Leaving Mom behind didn't bother me, not in the slightest. Even if we had began bonding after Spokane, and the small moment we shared when she came to give me my birthday gift, leaving her was easy. She hadn't been a prominent part of my life for some time, so it was barely a blip in my heart when I took off.

Leaving Dimitri cut like a knife. For one, the way I did it, telling him ' _love fades'_ and turning my back to him, that stabbed me in the heart. And every day that has passed -no matter how hard I try to not think about him, miss him, want him -the knife twisted a little more.

And leaving my father, well that wasn't a thought at all. I had no idea who he is, where he lives or what he does, so I didn't think once, let alone twice, about him. I knew once I opened that packet I would find out who he is, however, I didn't expect it to tell me how much he loves me. How he wishes he was able to be around for me. How he _wants_ to see me, know me, and be a part of my life.

Knowing that now, the knife from Dimitri has a friend, and it's sharper, longer, and hurts a hell of a lot worse.

"Well damn, Zmey has a soft side," Adrian chuckled to himself.

I tilted my head, "What did you call him?"

He set the letter on the table, and cleared his throat, "Uh, nothing, so, what does this mean for you, Rose?"

"I don't know," I shrugged, sighing deeply, "I have been searching and searching for Eddie and still haven't found him. I miss Dimitri and Lissa like crazy, and now I have a father who wants to be a part of my life, but I left before figuring that out. What am I supposed to do?" I groaned that last question, pressing my forehead to my knees.

It's a valid question, and one I don't have an answer too. Neither does he. I can't go back and change the choices I made. Even if I returned to the Academy there is no way Kirova would let me back in.

I can't graduate.

I can't guard Lissa.

I can't be with Dimitri.

The only thing I can do is to meet my father, but then what? What does he expect from me? Does he really want to be an active part of my life now? Or is he just going to drop in, _hey sorry I haven't been around for eighteen years,_ and leave again?

Looking back up to ask Adrian's opinion, I stopped myself. His eyes were glued to the carpet, hands wringing together like he was battling something inside his mind.

"Adrian, what's wrong?"

He lifted his eyes back to mine, sorrow evident in the depths of his iris, "Promise me you won't be mad?"

Just so you know, asking someone to promise they won't be upset about something you have been hiding from them is almost guaranteed to piss them off as soon as you confess. Take note of that, it will come in handy in the future.

"What did you do," my question came out in a growl.

He drew a deep breath through his nose, letting it out quickly through his mouth, "I've been talking to Dimitri he is with your Dad and they know where we are and he wants to find you," he rushed it out so fast I almost didn't understand. _Almost._

"Are you serious, Adrian?" he nodded softly, regret evident on his face, "and you told him where we are?"

"Not exactly," he reached forward to me, but I jumped out of my chair, moving further away from him. He sighed deeply, running a hand through his hair, "I reached out to let him know you were safe, he deserves to know that you are still alive."

"I thought you were on my side," my voice began to rise.

He took a step back, eyes widening, his voice soft, pained even, "I am on your side, I am always on your side, Rose. But.."

"No. No, _but._ You're not, if you were, you wouldn't have gone behind my back. You have been talking to him this whole time, lying to me, that's not what friends do."

"Really, Rose? Because I am pretty sure _friends_ don't walk away from everyone who cares about them without so much as a goodbye either. You left him, Lissa, and everyone else behind for this fucking suicide mission, and _I_ am the one who has stood by you through it!" His voice had risen to dangerous heights, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

"You _chose_ to come with me, I didn't want you too! I didn't want you to be in the middle, but you wouldn't take no for an answer!"

"Because you're not the only one with a shitty life, Rose! I saw a chance to get out and I took it. Sorry if that put a damper in your little plans, but fuck me, I am trying to do what is right here!"

"How does lying to me constitute as right?"

"Because I am not the only one day in and day out scared shitless that you won't come back," he screeched. "Do you have any idea how fucked up he is?"

"Why do you care about how he feels?"

Several different reasons came to mind to explain why Adrian would care about Dimitri and how he is handling life right now. Maybe he feels guilty about being here with me, knowing how much Dimitri and I care for each other. Or maybe he feels he owes Dimitri for stepping back. Or maybe over the last few weeks, they have bonded through their communications and have a sense of camaraderie now.

However, the look in his eyes, the furrow of his brow leads me to believe its something stronger than guilt, or debt, or even friendship.

"Adri.." I was cut off by a knock at the door.

I looked at the door, then back to Adrian, "Did you order room service?"

"No," he shook his head, stepping toward the door, "someone probably complained."

Our voices had risen quite a bit during our argument, but the walls here are anything but paper thin. Plus, I didn't think we were _that_ loud.

Grabbing his arm, I pulled him to a stop, "No," I mouthed, "bedroom." Tilting my head I gave him a silent command. Even if it is only the staff coming to check on things, I wouldn't have him opening the door.

Pulling my stake from my boot, I concealed it against the length of my arm. Once Adrian was out of eyesight, I unlocked the deadbolt and cracked open the door.

This is the part in the movies where you yell at the screen for them to _not_ open the door more, to simply step back, shut and lock it, and wait it out, or call for help. But that never happens. The stupid girl always opens the door all the way, stepping out into the hallway to check.

And we all know what happens after that, right?

* * *

Author's Note:

Just because I am not completely evil, Chapter 18 will be up tomorrow.

Leave your thoughts on the way out!

 **Question: What do you think happens next?**

All My Love,

Dream


	19. Chapter Eighteen

_**Chapter Eighteen**_

 _ **Dimitri**_

Do you think it is possible to feel someone else pain?

I'm not talking about empathy, more along the lines of _actually_ feeling the pain that someone you care about is going through. Almost as if it was occurring to you in real time.

I believe that when your soul is connected to someone else's it is possible to have that sixth sense of when something is wrong. For example, if they are in trouble, you get a nauseating feeling in the pit of your stomach. Your mind runs down a rabbit hole and you begin to wonder what could be happening that would cause this type of sensation.

Which is why; standing in the back of Lissa's class, I felt the world close in around me, just before she started screaming. My stomach lodged in my throat as I watched the Princess fall to the floor, clutching her head, screaming so loud I am surprised our ears didn't start to bleed.

And I couldn't move.

I couldn't react and attempt to help her.

I was frozen solid as I felt the hair on my arms and the back of my neck stand on end.

Lissa's current state, her screams shrilling through the air, confirmed what my heart feared.

Something is wrong with Rose.

Very wrong.

I had just talked to Adrian mere hours ago. Rose had come back early from hunting, she was safe, at the hotel with him. What could have happened in three hours?

Did they get into a fight? He had seemed worried when she caught him on the phone, but Adrian is good at thinking on his feet. He has kept Rose in the dark since they left about contacting me. But if she did find out -she will be pissed. And I know Rose -when she gets mad, she runs away.

Did she go back out?

Did she fight?

Is she hurt?

Or worse?

"Belikov, do something," Christian yelled from beside Lissa curled form.

Pushing down my nausea, I scooped Lissa into my arms, and took her to the infirmary, Christian following closely on my heels, another two Guardians trailing just behind him.

Reaching the doors, Christian opened them for me and I met Dr. Olendzki just inside.

"What happened," she almost yelled, trying to talk over Lissa's constant wails.

"I am not sure, she was fine one minute, and then she started screaming. I think it may have something to do with the bond," Christian answered, as I laid Lissa on the gurney.

"Can you give her a sedative?"

Dr. Olendzki retreated to the back of the clinic, while I tried to pry Lissa's hands from her head. Her jade eyes were wide, glazed over, almost like Roza's whenever she would look into Lissa's mind. Her fingers twisted into her hair, pulling clumps of the platinum blonde strands from their roots. Christian stood on the other side, one hand rubbing soft circles on her stomach, while the other smoothed over her forehead. Words of adoration and reassurance rolled off his tongue in soft waves, unfortunately, it didn't seem to have any effect on her.

She was no longer here, with us, she was with Rose.

Once Olendzki returned and administered the sedative, Lissa began to calm. Her eyes slid shut, and her body stilled, her breathing even. I took a step back, allowing the nurses to roll the gurney down the hall.

Sending one of the other Guardians to fetch Alberta, Christian and I headed down the sterile hallway to Lissa's room. Sitting by her bedside, I was taken back to the last time I had been here -this exact room. After the attack, when Rose has blacked out from the ghost. I sat in this very spot, holding her hand, praying she would wake up soon and I would get to hold her in my arms again. Taking Lissa's petite hand in mind, I prayed to whoever would listen that both of them would be okay, that whatever is happening between them, to them, they would come out of it unscathed. Though, the erratic beat of my heart and the brick sitting in my stomach are leading me to think it won't be that simple.

Pulling my phone from my duster pocket, I looked up the number Adrian had called me from and dialed out.

It rang.

And rang.

With each ring that passed and he didn't answer, my heart thudded harder, my fear spiking to dangerous levels.

 _Come on, Adrian, answer the phone,_ I whispered to myself.

Reaching his voicemail, I hung up and promptly redialed. I would call a thousand times if I had too, and the way it's going, I may be doing just that.

Dial after dial.

Ring after ring.

No answer.

"Belikov, Petrov and another man are in the waiting room for you," the Guardian spoke through the small opening of the door.

"Are you going to be okay for a few moments?" I asked Christian.

His response only a simple nod, while he watched Lissa's chest rise and fall steadily. Reaching over, I gave his shoulder a squeeze and headed out to talk to the others. Pushing open the double doors, I was greeted by a frantic Abe and Alberta.

"What's going on?" Abe asked.

"She is asleep right now, but I am positive something happened to Rose to cause that type of reaction." I looked back to the doors, my heart breaking for Lissa. It's one thing to simply feel like something is wrong, it's a complete other to _see_ it happening, to actually experience their pain.

"I have tried to call Adrian over a dozen times, he isn't answering."

"Did she say anything?" Alberta asked, "I remember Rose being able to talk through being in Lissa's mind."

"No, she was just screaming."

"What do you think happened?" Alberta's eyes softened, her voice laced with worry.

"Honestly, I have no idea, but if I had to make a guess, I think the bond has either been opened," I paused, swallowing the rock in my throat, "or severed."

Abe's eyes widened, "When you say...severed..." I held his gaze, unable to say the words, but he could pick up my train of thought. Shaking his head vigorously, he whispered, "No."

"Mr. M…"

"NO!" he bellowed, his voice echoing through the otherwise silent space. "I just talked to my contact in Seattle, she just saw her, talked to her even… she...she can't….no," he trailed off at the end.

"Abe," Alberta laid a hand on his shoulder, his brown eyes opened to meet hers, tears pooling on the verge of spilling over, "let's go back to my office and we can make some calls."

Abe straightened, his shoulders rolling back, slipping into business mode, "No, tell Pavel to back out bags, we're going to Seattle," he turned and started toward the door, pausing to look over his shoulder at me, "are you coming or no?"

I rose my brow to Alberta, requesting permission, to which she nodded.

"I'll fill out the paperwork," she waved her hand toward the door, "go pack."

"I'm just going to check on Lissa before I go, thank you, Alberta."

Walking back through the double doors, I allowed myself a brief moment to process the last hour of events. I fear the worst has happened to Rose, given Lissa's reaction, I can only assume something awful has occurred. I pray she is still alive, that I can find her and bring her home. But I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared.

Opening Lissa's door, I heard the steady beep of a heart rate monitor, her head had been wrapped, covering the area she clawed and ripped her hair out. Her arms had been restrained to the bed, as well as her ankles, keeping her immobilized should she wake and have another episode.

Christian dutifully sat next to her bed, his head resting on his folded hands that held Lissa's. His shoulders shook lightly, the muscles in his back tensing with each movement. When he lifted his head, his icy blue eyes met mine, tears rolled down his cheeks.

"She will be okay, Christian," I moved to stand beside him, resting my hand on his shoulder.

"Will she though? And what about Rose? What happened to them?"

I wanted to say _everything will be fine,_ but I couldn't. I don't know how a broken bond affects the people involved. I don't even know if the bond is broken, or if something else entirely has happened between them.

"I don't know," I answered honestly, "but Mr. Mazur and I are heading to Seattle to look for Rose."

"Seattle?"

"Adrian showed me where they were, hopefully, we will find more information once we arrive. I will let you know if we find anything useful, and please let me know how Lissa is doing, especially if she wakes up and can tell you anything."

"I will. Be safe, and good luck."

I patted his back, silently telling him, _thank you_ , and headed off to pack my duffel.

Once back in my room, I packed quickly, knowing time is of the essence, and we didn't have much to spare. I decided to forgo packing my full uniforms and simply packed my plain black shirts, and tactical pants. I have grown used to fighting in my uniform, though the fabric doesn't give as much as it should when you are moving your body in various ways, and since I am not traveling as an Academy Guardian, I would take advantage of the opportunity to be comfortable.

Shrugging on my duster, I pocketed the ring I had purchased for Rose's birthday and the picture of us in the gym. Lastly, the letter she had left me, tucked safely between two shirts, I was ready to go. Flicking off the light, and locking the door, I headed back down to the Admin building to meet with Abe and Pavel.

Alberta already had the SUV loaded for them by the time I arrived. Storing my bag in the boot, I took the seat in the back behind Pavel. Abe's plane had been brought to the Academy, cutting a little over an hour out of our travel time, for which I was thankful. Traveling with Moroi outside of the wards at night is not something I like to do unless absolutely necessary.

"You will call me when you find her," Alberta looked me square in the eye, "no matter the outcome."

"Yes, ma'am."

Pulling on my arm, she walked us around the back of the SUV, her voice only a whisper, "Take care of him, please, both of them. I know how much you love her, and I know that if things don't go the right way, you will be hurt, but they," she waved a finger toward Abe and Pavel, "they will break, and they don't break easily, Dimitri."

I nodded, "I know."

"Be safe, and bring her home." Wrapping her arms around my waist, she held on tight. Sliding my arms around her shoulders, I hugged her back just as fiercely.

"Belikov," Pavel hollered, "time to go, Son."

I released Alberta, letting her go to say her farewells to her brother and Pavel, while I grabbed my bag from the truck and stored it into the cargo hold. Stepping through the door of the plane, I paused a moment to appreciate the aircraft. The cream-white and beige color scheme inside the cabin were warm and comfortable. There was a long suede couch on one side, several conversation chairs on the other.

I plopped down in the middle of the couch. Abe and Pavel took to the chairs across from me, while the other half dozen Guardians found seats more toward the front. A Dhampir stewardess made her rounds, checking on everyone before departure. I was warmed to see her check on the Guardians with the same respect as she did for Abe.

"Try to rest, it's only an hour and a half flight, but you will need it," Pavel spoke softly.

"No use," I mumbled, leaning my head back I stared at the ceiling.

I hadn't been able to sleep a full night since I stopped staying in Roza's dorm, and only managed a few hours a night -which I timed for when Adrian would dream walk me- after she had left. But I knew she was safe, wherever she was, she was safe and happy. Now, well that is a different story. I don't know where she is. If she is okay. Or where Adrian is because he isn't answering his phone.

Sleep is not an option.

* * *

"Miss Sage, it's wonderful to see you again," Abe smiled to the young alchemist.

"Pleasure as always, Mr. Mazur," she nodded. "Here is the information you requested, I have a vehicle secured for you, and the GPS has already been set for the hotel."

"Thank you, Miss Sage."

Many questions floated around in my mind, none of which I would ask right now, but rather store them away for later. Alchemist are not known to associate with our kind outside of formal business, which this most certainly is not.

We loaded into the passenger van, Abe sitting in the first row beside me, while the other guardians spaced out in the other two rows, and Pavel drove. I leaned over in my seat, reading alongside Abe through the packet of information Miss Sage has provided him.

Adrian had done well to cover their tracks- new identities, phones, and…

"Why?" I whisper groaned.

"What?" Abe asked, his voice laced with worry.

"She cut and dyed her hair," I plucked the photo from the folder, taking a closer look. It wasn't quite a full frontal photo but showed enough that there was no mistaking my Roza. Her slender neck, the curve of her chest, her slim waist, the beautiful round shape of her ass in those jeans. But the defining feature, her smile. I would know that smile anywhere.

Her hair was cut much like Alberta's -Pixie style and colored a vibrant red. Even under the dim lights in the bar, I could see the depth of the shade. It's a minor detail, yes, but damn it stung. I loved her long hair. The way it fell around her shoulders, the dark color contrasting against her almond skin. Tangling my fingers through the silk ends when I kissed her; gathering it in my hands while she did _other_ things that I probably shouldn't think about with her father sitting next to me.

 _It's just hair, Dimitri, it will grow back_ , I inwardly chastised myself. _We have more important matters to worry about right now than a hair cut._

"Sorry," I whispered to Abe, placing the photo back in the folder.

Leaning my head back on the seat, I closed my eyes, letting my mind wander into dangerous territory. She really did go through lengths to hide -changing her name and appearance, playing house with Adrian, and no doubt he managed to acquire documents supporting everything. She prepared to leave and never come back. I knew that was a possibility - _a certainty-_ yet, knowing how far she was willing to go cut me - _deep_.

Once we find her, I will have to face the music and accept that this is the life she wants.

I have to let her go.

And I am in no way, shape or form, ready to do so.

We arrived at the hotel moments later, Pavel and I took the lead checking into the rooms Abe had arranged for us. Six rooms, on the fourth floor. Nothing extravagant, seeing how we didn't plan on being here long, but at the _Four Season's_ it would still cost Abe quite a bit of money. _Not that he is concerned about that._ Checking the perimeter, ensuring the wards are intact, and the rooms for anything suspicious, we deemed everything to be in order and called for the others.

Once we settled in, we found out what room Rose and Adrian had been staying in. Guardian Kaplan - _the hacker-_ tapped into the hotel's mainframe and pulled the information with ease.

 _Room 1503. Tenants- Jett and Rosalyn Steele. Scheduled checkout- the first of May._

Kaplan reprogrammed my room key to work on their door, and Abe, Pavel and I headed up the nine flights to take a look. My heart beat wildly against my ribs, and my palms began to sweat, I was nervous. A million possible scenarios ran through my mind; maybe we would find her in the room, perfectly fine; or maybe we walk into a crime scene; or maybe she wasn't here at all, and had been captured while fighting out in the city; or maybe... on and on they went -the higher the elevator climbed, so did my fears.

And when I opened the door, I realized that fear alone isn't always worse than reality.

The smell of blood hits me first. A lot of blood.

The plush white carpet just inside the suite door is stained red.

A bloody handprint pressed on the arm of the white sued couch.

A broken vase.

And red droplets covered the pages on the table.

"Don't touch anything," Abe barks, pulling his phone from his suit jacket, pounding the keys until it begins to ring. "Miss Sage," he begins, walking back out into the hallway to continue his conversation.

I stand in the middle of the living room, taking in the scene around me, playing out what could have happened to cause this amount of damage. Part of our job is deductive reasoning, putting pieces of a puzzle together to establish a timeline of events.

Much like at the Badica house, we take into account the placement of bodies, the spray of blood, and the amount of damage to the room. Only this room is nothing like the Badica home.

First, there are no bodies. Second, there are several different blood stains -even though I know Adrian and Rose were the only two staying in this room. Third, the door showed no signs of forced entry, so they opened it willingly. And were blitz attacked immediately. The size of the handprint is just smaller than mine, meaning it must be Adrian's. Rose and I used to joke about how small her hands were compared to mine. _Yet fit perfectly together._

 _Focus, Dimitri, focus._

The glass from the vase is spread out on the left, several pieces still laying on the table. A right-handed assailant. The pattern furthers my theory, Adrian had to have been the victim. He gripped his head after impact and caught himself on the couch. Meaning the blood by the door could only belong to one person.

I turned to meet Pavel's gaze, his next words were no louder than a whisper but hit me as if he screamed through a megaphone, causing me to take a step back.

"It's hers."

* * *

Author's Note:

There is another hint in this chapter, though subtle, as to who was there.

Be sure to leave your thoughts on the way out, and

 **Question: Who's POV do you think is next?**

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

All My Love,

Dream

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	20. Chapter Nineteen

_**Thank you for all the faves/follows/reviews!**_

 _ **You all are the best!**_

 _ **TRIGGER WARNING: Violence/language.**_

* * *

 _ **Chapter Nineteen**_

 _ **Adrian**_

I am not a fighter.

Not in the slightest.

But seeing Rose pinned beneath someone who was _not_ Dimitri, or in an alternative world, me, my inner - _non-existent_ \- Mike Tyson woke up.

I had read that some Spirit users possess the power of telekinesis, though I have never attempted it before, I quickly found that it is extremely difficult. Willing myself to move something with only my mind was a feat in its own _-though I did it-_ making it hit the intended target is an entirely different story.

Staring at the flower vase on the side table, I willed the glass to fly across the room and hit the man in the head. And although it did move, it didn't quite go as far as I would have liked. In fact, it only moved about three inches. _Remarkable, I know._

Disregarding the idea of mind power, I picked the vase up and charged toward them, putting as much strength into my swing as possible. The vase shattered against his face, cutting my hands, and spreading glass all over the floor. But the result panned out perfectly, even if I sustained a larger injury than he did. He was no longer on top of her, and that's what mattered most.

Catching myself on the arm of the couch, I dropped to my knees and crawled over to where Rose laid unmoving. I hadn't been able to see any damage from my earlier point of view, but looking at her now, I could barely breathe.

Her shirt was torn over her abdomen, blood soaking the fabric and subsequently the carpet beneath her. Her stake laid just to her side, coated in what I am assuming to be her own blood. _He used her own stake on her, fucking sadistic asshole._ I could also see the bruises already forming from where he held her throat in his hands. Placing two bloody fingers to her neck, I searched for a pulse I wouldn't find.

 _Not today, Rose._

 _Not right now._

 _Not like this._

I pushed one hand against the hole in her stomach, the other over her sternum, sending every last ounce of healing power I could muster up into her, begging all the while for her to open her eyes.

 _Don't leave me._

 _Please, Rose, don't go._

I could feel the magic burning through my veins, although it didn't seem to have an effect. I have been practicing my healing ability for some time now, but I have nothing on Lissa. She brought Rose back from the dead, I can't even make the bleeding stop.

 _Come on, Rose. Breathe. Just breathe for me._

Pressing my forehead to hers, I stared at her closed eyes willing them to open. _Nothing._ She was dying, _or maybe she's already gone,_ and I can do nothing to save her. Closing my eyes, I brushed my lips to hers, _I love you, Rose._

A set of very large arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me away from her. I went willingly. _What good what fighting back do at this point?_ My eyes never left her body, praying that she would show some sign of life.

Once in the hallway, the man rested me against the wall, and he stepped back a few feet, allowing me some breathing room. I watched the door to our room, waiting for them to come out, for something to happen to explain why.

Why did he kill her?

Why are they here?

Who are they?

What do they want?

People began moving in and out of the room, one in particular, raising far more questions. An older gentleman with salt and pepper hair, wrinkles covered his face making him appear much older than he truly is. However, that is not what piqued my interest in him, no, that would be the gold smoldering in his aura, the telltale sign of a Spirit user.

"Time to go," the man beside me whispered, lifting me once again, and pulling me toward the elevators on the far end.

This time, I fought back. Not that it did much good, but I wanted, _no needed_ , to know what was happening inside my room. To Rose. And who the hell this other man is.

Covering my mouth, he silenced my protest, hauling me further away from her.

My Best Friend.

My Partner In Crime.

My Little Dhampir.

We rode the elevator down to the garage. As soon as the doors opened, I was shuttled into a dark van, blindfolded, and restrained. Why they felt the need to blindfold me now, after having seen _all_ of their faces, was beyond me. Though, it didn't bode well, either way.

I am not sure how much time passed before the sound of the sliding door slamming jolted me awake. Several voices carried through the small space, none of which I could place to any specific person, and all of them were male.

 _Did they just leave her there?_

Surely, even though I am certain they do not possess hearts, they wouldn't just leave her dead body on the hotel room floor. Would they?

Silent tears spilled from my eyes, soaking into the black cotton fabric of the blindfold. Laying my head back against the seat, I let my sorrow pour out and slipped myself back into the black abyss. Whatever they have planned for me, whatever torture they put me through will be nothing compared to this feeling in my chest right now.

* * *

 _ **Rose**_

Deja Vu; a feeling of having already experienced the present situation.

This room.

This chair.

The concrete floors and plain walls.

The bite of plastic against my wrist.

Something about it was all too familiar.

 _You have got to be kidding me_.

I looked around the room again, noticing how nothing had changed from the last time I was here. I could even still see the blood stain on the floor from the human I stabbed. And I am sure if I went upstairs, I would see the mantle bare of swords, the space where the saltwater fish tank once sat, and the memory of Mason's still body on the floor.

 _What in the ever living fuck?_

I tried, really tried, to remember what happened, but for the life of me, I couldn't. The last thing I can remember was fighting with Adrian, and someone knocking on our door. But what happened after that? And where is Adrian? Is he safe?

And how in the hell did I end up back in Isaiah's basement in _God damn_ Spokane?

"Good Morning, Love."

That voice.

That cynical, sinister, colder than Alaska in the winter voice.

I wanted to turn my head, search for the man responsible for this, but I resisted. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of raising my blood pressure.

"I know you're awake."

 _Nope. Not going to answer._

He was pacing behind me, just out of my field of vision, his heavy steps echoing through the room. I looked around without moving, searching for a way out, for Adrian, for an explanation.

Much like the first time here, I found nothing.

It's just him and I.

Fucking Brayden.

I knew there had to be a reason he set off my creep-dar.

From the first time I walked into his bar, something seemed off. He was always watching me, no matter where I sat, or moved around too, his eyes followed my every move. And every time he touched me, be it in a 'tender' way -laying a hand on my shoulder or arm, or an aggressive way -like last night where he left marks from how hard he gripped me- my skin would crawl.

The only bright side at this very moment is I haven't _felt_ any Strigoi. Though I know somehow they are involved. Why else would I be _here_?

And I can't help but wonder…. Is Eddie involved with this? He is the only person who knows about this house, about what happened in this very room, and who died ten feet above my head.

I ground my teeth, trying to drown out the echo of his steps, it is driving me insane. Much like a dripping faucet,

 _Drip. Drip. Drip._

 _Thump. Thump. Thump._

 _Fucking annoying as shit._

Just before I could growl my annoyance, a loud crash sounded outside the door, drawing my breath up short.

"They're here," Brayden sang.

 _Yep. Creep._

The door swung open, a behemoth of a man walking through it backward, hauling a very unwilling Adrian. Even though he is making things worse for himself by flailing around, I couldn't help the rush of relief at seeing him.

The man sat Adrian in a chair identical to mine -straight back with slits to bind his hands around.

"Look here, if you're going to keep me blindfolded and bound, you could at least buy me dinner, asshole. Didn't your mother…" _SLAP._

"Shut the fuck up," the man growled, low and menacing.

Adrian gasped for air, before coughing something awful. I wanted to smack him myself for his choice of words at this moment, but my heart broke at his pain.

"Hey, try not to damage him," Brayden finally stepped into my sight, standing next to the other guy, "Boss doesn't want him injured."

I burned holes in his back - _well I did in my mind-_ cataloging the man responsible _._ He wore the same outfit from last night -a blue button down, with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, dark wash denim jeans, and boots. In any other circumstance, he would be considered good looking, right now though, he looks like a case of gonasypholitus - _totally not real, but could you imagine how nasty it would be?_

"Little late for that," Adrian sneered, spitting a mouth full of blood onto the floor.

"Stop it," I growled at him, "you are not helping right now."

"Rose," he whispered, his head turning in my direction, "Rose, you… you're not dead?"

"Not yet," Brayden laughed, turning around to talk to the other man, I caught sight of his face. His right cheek had a thick gauze covering the area from his jaw to his hairline. I wonder what happened there. Several strands of his dirty blond hair were coated in blood sticking to his forehead, and his right eye - _even half covered_ \- appeared to be swollen.

"Keep an eye on them, and don't let his blindfold come off. He's a Spirit user, his compulsion is almost as strong as theirs," with that, Brayden took his leave, shutting the door, and by the sound, locking a deadbolt on the other side.

I hung my head for a moment, desperate for an escape from my reality, I searched out for Lissa. Clearing my mind, I thought of only her, envisioned if you will, being with her, walking beside her through campus.

But she wasn't there.

Nothing was there. Not even the hum of her unconscious mind.

It's gone.

I am trying _not_ to freak the hell out right now. Hopefully, on the outside, my distress isn't showing, because inside, my mind is spinning faster than a tilt-a-whirl. The only way for the bond to break is for one of us to die.

I'm alive.

My heart is still beating - _faster than it should be no less._

But Lissa….she couldn't…

She is safe, behind the wards of the Academy, with Dimitri protecting her.

She has to be.

 _You're not dead,_ Adrian's words rang through the back of my mind.

Was I? Did my heart stop beating at some point? Is that why I can't remember a fucking thing about how I ended up here?

 _What in the hell happened?_

I looked over to the man Brayden left in charge of Adrian and I. He sat in the corner, cleaning underneath his fingernails with a switchblade. His broad shoulders stretched the fabric of the green Henley so tight I am surprised it didn't rip under the strain. His sleeves pushed up to his elbows, showing off several tribal tattoos that wrapped around both of his defined forearms. Combat style boots covered his large feet, and faded jeans clung to his thick thighs. This man is the definition of huge. His mugshot is right there in the dictionary, plainly labeled _fucking massive._

No doubt he won't be willing to provide me with a little insight - _he doesn't seem like the talkative type._ So I am left wondering, struggling to remember, and irritated.

Very irritated.

"Rose," Adrian whispered.

"Don't talk," I whispered back.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I sighed, he really needs to learn to listen.

"You were bleeding, a lot. I tried, Rose, I tried so hard, but it wouldn't stop," he trailed off at the end.

What is he talking about?

I looked down at my shirt, noticing for the first time that it isn't the one I was wearing when I got home last night. In fact, it's not even mine, or Adrian's for that matter, it's far too big to be his. Still, other than that, I seemed fine. I couldn't see any blood on my body, and I didn't feel like I had any wounds that would cause major blood loss.

"Adr...," I wanted to ask what he remembers, but Mr. Macho in the corner cleared his throat, pinning his fire blue eyes to me. And for a moment - _a very, very brief moment-_ I thought I saw something else flash across his face. Not anger - _which most certainly was there earlier_ \- hate or disgust.

But rather, compassion, regret, and if I am picking this up right, sympathy. And when I looked passed the alpha persona rolling off of him, I recognized him.

The Guardian who approached me in the bar the very first night I went hunting.

"What the fuck?" this time I asked the question out loud, looking him straight in the eyes, "You're working for _them._ "

His eyes shot to the door for a second, at the same time, he rose from his spot and came to tower over me. I pushed myself back against the chair, straining my head back to look up at him. Opening my mouth to tell him off, he clamped his hand down, _hard,_ gripping my jaw with his giant paw.

"Keep your voice down," he growled, looking back to the door again, "You have no idea what I have had to deal with, so do not make assumptions about why I am here."

I mumbled against his hand, repeating myself once he pulled back, "then explain it to me?" I whispered, lacing my words with compassion and understanding.

"The less you know, the better," he shook his head, stepping back, "Look, Youngin', I don't know what it is that you did to piss _them_ off, but you best keep quiet and listen, or both Y'all gonna end up dead."

Moving back over to his corner, he picked at his nails with the knife again, leaving me stewing in my chair. How did he, a trained _massive_ Guardian, wind up working for Strigoi? Something had to have happened to his charge for him to be here, there is simply no other explanation for it. We would rather die than become captives or servants to Strigoi. It just doesn't make sense.

"Can you tell me one thing?"

He lifted his head, letting out a deep sigh, "What?"

"Are we in Spokane?"

He rose his brow, the corner of his mouth lifting into a side smile, "Damn, you are smart."

I chuckled, "Not exactly. I've been here before." His eyes grew wider, "don't ask, it's a long story."

"Rose is this…."

"Yeah," I whispered, "the same…. Oh shit!"

"What?" the Guardian asked.

"Adrian, can you…. You know….." I hinted.

I didn't want to flat out say 'dream walk', even if the Guardian probably has no idea about that. I didn't want anyone who may be outside listening to me hear my intentions.

"I don't know, Rose, I don't have much."

"Try, please, try," I begged.

If he could connect with Dimitri, he would know where we are. After all, it wouldn't be the first time he would carry me out of this house on the brink of death.

Adrian leaned his head back, his chest rising and falling steadily. I watched on bated breath, praying he connected with Dimitri, or Lissa, hell anyone at this point that could simply pass on a message.

"What is he doing?" The Guardian whispered.

"It's hard to explain," I answered vaguely. "Just be quiet for a minute."

Tick. Tock.

Tick. Tock.

Minutes passed and Adrian hadn't moved, spoken, anything. I have never seen him dream walk, other than the ones he pulled me into, but I didn't know what went into the actual creation of the dream. Did he have to be asleep, or simply in a trance? I was starting to think he actually had fallen asleep until he heaved a deep sigh.

"Sorry, Rose, I couldn't get anyone."

I drew in a deep breath, letting it out slowly, "It's okay, thanks for trying."

Leaning my own head back, I stared at the ceiling, _or would that technically be the floor…. What the fuck does it matter either way?_ Ugh! Much like the last time I was here, there is no way out other than the door, which they seem to have improved with an exterior deadbolt. There are no windows since were underground, meaning I can't even see light to tell what time it is.

It almost feels like I have gone back in time, only there are a few people missing, and a new person who should have never been put in this situation. At least, other than the busted lip from his smart mouth comments, Adrian doesn't appear to be injured. Then again, it's too dark for me to see him clearly.

Guilt overwhelms me. Smothers me. Suffocates me.

This is all my fault. Just like before, with Mason.

Adrian shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be here. We should have stayed at the Academy and lived the life we were told too. If we hadn't left, none of this would have happened. And I know the worst has yet to come.

"Rose?"

"Yes, Adrian?"

"I just want you to know that I love you," his voice rough with tears, "and I'm sorry. I'm sorry we fought. I'm sorry I told him. I'm sorry I lied."

"Oh- Adrian," I croaked, tears welling on the brink of free falling, "it's going to be okay, everything is going to be okay. I promise."

"If.. if we don't get out of here, I want you to know something," he paused, I stayed silent, waiting for him to continue, "you asked why I care about him…" Adrian's words were cut off by the deadbolt unlocking, the door flying open.

Brayden walked in, another human man behind him, and headed straight for Adrian. Snapping the ties from his wrist and ankles, they lifted him up, each one taking one arm, and drug him toward the door.

"Where are you taking him!?"

"Don't worry, Love, he will be back in a little while," Brayden smiled.

"Leave him alone! You can take me."

They continued on their way, slamming the door behind them.

"I LOVE YOU, TOO, ADRIAN," I yelled through the thick metal, though I doubt he could hear me.

I pulled at my restraints, the plastic cutting into my wrist to the point I could feel it start to bleed. Pain and I are old friends though, so I pushed past it, continuing to struggle. I pulled, pushed, and twisted my arms, not accomplishing anything in the process. Growing frustrated beyond belief, I hopped in my seat, making the chair jolt. I hoped that maybe one of the rungs on the back would give way. No suck luck, considering one wrong jump and I tilted backward, crashing to the ground.

My fingers hit the floor first, trapped between the ground and the chair. I could feel the bones in my left-hand snap, sending excruciating pain through my left arm. They say the bigger the bone, the more it hurts, yeah right. Don't let them fool you, those little bones hurt just as much, if not worse. Kind of like a paper cut, it's so small, yet stings like a bitch. Snapping my ankle on the bench was nothing compared to this.

My head was the next thing to connect with the concrete, causing stars to dance around my vision.

"Damn it, Rose," the Guardian growled, lifting my chair back to it's sitting position.

The sudden movement flipped my stomach resulting in me vomiting all over Mr. Macho.

"Fucking-A," he bellowed, jumping several feet back.

Moving behind me, he pulled the chair away from the remains of my dinner and grabbed a few towels to clean up with, dry heaving the whole time. For an experience Guardian, this really shouldn't bother him, but I guess some people just can't handle certain things. For me, it's broken bones that pop out of the skin. Just thinking about it makes me gag.

Once the floor was clean, well mostly, he wet a towel in the small bathroom to my right and cleaned my face and jeans. His touch tender, his eyes sorrowful, he didn't want to be here, doing this any more than I did. What happened to get him into this mess?

"I'm sorry," I whispered, "I didn't mean to throw up on you."

"It's alright," he smiled softly, "but it's really me who should be sorry."

"What do you mean?"

"You broke at least three fingers," he pinched the tip of my fingers on my left hand, causing another jolt of pain through my arm. "I'm going to have to reset them before your healing kicks in," he paused, leaning over my shoulder he whispered, "this is going to hurt, Rose."

He pulled on the first finger as he finished speaking, resulting in a banshee-like scream from me. Without pause, he pulled on the next, and then the last.

"Shit, fuck, mother of mercy," I yelled in order as he popped the bones back into place.

My chest heaved with each strained breath, my lungs unable to fill with the amount of pain radiating through my body. It's as if my nerves were lit on fire, spreading from my fingers to my toes, everything fucking hurt.

As I said, pain and I are old friends, but this, this is a million, billion, gazillion times worse than breaking my ankle, being attacked by Natalie, fighting Isaiah, the attack, and every single injury I ever had in training.

Finally, it became too much, my body began shutting down to counteract the pain. Blackness swarmed my vision, my breathing slowing until I slipped away into the world of nothing. Dreaming of a life I doubt I will ever have because I have a feeling, I won't be getting out of here alive this time around.

* * *

Author's Note:

Are you all happy now?

How many of you figured it out beforehand, as far as I know from reviews and Facebook, only one person had, so I am curious?

Speaking of Facebook, are you following me? If not, you should swing on over and join the madness. Snips/Sneaks/Quotes and general shenanigans occur there daily.

 **PLUS,** I have a tendency to throw the flow of the story into your hands, when possible. You can have a say in how this plays out in the end. And for those who have recently liked/followed, welcome to the dark side. Sadly, we don't have cookies. Though we should really do something about that, haha.

 **Question: Now that you know WHO, do you know WHY?**

All My Love to ALL of you beautiful souls,

Dream


	21. Chapter Twenty

_**Happy Hump Day!**_

 _ **This is a massive chapter, full of information and answers.**_

 _ **Enjoy My Loves!**_

* * *

 _ **Chapter Twenty**_

 _ **Rose**_

There is something so peaceful about watching the sunrise across the bay, the way the light eases over the horizon, painting the saltwater gold, the sky a mix of pink and orange. There is not quite another sight as beautiful as this.

Shifting in the wicker porch chair, I tuck my legs underneath me and wrap my hands around a steaming cup of hot cocoa. Drawing a deep breath, I close my eyes and turn my face toward the sky, allowing the morning rays to wash over my skin.

Peace.

It's hard to remember when I last felt this level of contentment.

Before the last time, Dimitri held me through the night -before he was caught and our lives started to rip apart at the seams. Or right after the attack, seeing him alive, Lissa safe, and holding the highest body count of all the Guardians, as a novice. And not even in the Cabin, after giving in to our desires, because the weight of the world was still on our shoulders, the truth of what was waiting once we vacated our little nest.

It's been years since the last time I carried no worries, no fear of the future, no hatred toward our world and it's expectations. Before Lissa and I's lives flipped upside down, twisted a million different ways, and crash-landed on the pavement. _Literally._

Before the accident.

That night changed everything, and I doubted that we would ever be _normal_ again. But at this moment, with the light of the morning sun wrapping around me, the cool morning breeze floating by, I almost feel normal.

My mind isn't overrun with someone else thoughts. I don't feel that I am drowning in a sea of darkness. I feel...happy.

That is until _his_ voice broke through my perfect little happiness bubble, "Rosie, it's time to go."

My eyes flew open, flinging myself forward to move away from the sound, the mug I clutched a moment ago, now shattered on the patio floor.

"Shit, Rose, I didn't mean to scare you," Eddie held his hand out, "don't move, let me get a broom and clean this up."

He walked back inside before I could fully process what just happened. I hadn't gotten a good look at him, but it was certainly Eddie standing in the doorway. Looking back to the East, the sun has cleared the horizon, bathing everything in light, including the porch. So how could he be here?

 _And where is here?_

This isn't the same porch that we have at the hotel, this one is much larger. Two wicker chairs sat on the right, _where I had been sitting a moment ago_ , a small table between them. And a two-person couch on the left, another single chair against the railing, and a decent sized coffee table in front of them. _None of this would have fit on our little balcony at the hotel._

The door opened again, Eddie stepping out with a broom and dustpan, moving around my statue-like form to clean up my mess. Studying him, I observed the color in his face, the ease of his movements, and when his eyes met mine, the absence of red around his pupils.

"You don't have to stare, Rose," he chuckled, sweeping the last of the ceramic into the pan, he tossed the pieces into the small trashcan in the corner, and turned back to me, "Come on, they will be landing soon, we need to go."

"What are you talking about," I barely managed to whisper.

"Are you sick?" Stepping forward he placed the back of his hand to my forehead. "Dimitri and the others are coming home today, how could you forget?"

 _Maybe because I am standing on some random porch with my brother, who last I checked was a bloodsucking monster?_

"Come on, get dressed so we can go," he slid the door open again, disappearing inside.

I rushed in behind him, walking into what appeared to be the living area. Pausing a moment, I took in the space, two large mocha sued couches sat in an L shape, leaving half of the room open, a huge fireplace lined the far wall, pictures decorating the mantle. I moved a little closer to inspect them.

The first, Lissa and Christian's wedding if I had to guess. Lissa wore a simple laced sleeved white gown, her hair pinned on top of her head with a diamond headband. Her smile rivaled the sunrise I had just watched. I don't think I have ever seen her so happy in my life. And Christian. Well, I have to admit, the fire-fuck looked good. Wearing a traditional tux, his shaggy hair trimmed and out of his eyes, and a smile to match Lissa. They were the picture perfect couple. I stood next to Liss, wearing a pink dress. _Cue eye roll, of course, she would have me in pink_. Beside Chris was Dimitri, looking sexier than sin in a charcoal colored suit with a pink vest and tie, matching my dress.

The next photo was of Dimitri and I, wearing the same outfits, on a dance floor. I picked up the picture, studying the way we looked at each other. The love that shines between us is radiant, even a blind man would be able to see it.

Next, to that one, the bride's party, Lissa, Mia, Jill, and I. Huh, not quite what I pictured for her bridal party, but then again, I have no idea what happened to lead up to now.

The next, Christian, Adrian, Dimitri, and… Eddie.

"That was a good day," Eddie spoke from behind me. "Even if it wasn't the wedding of her dreams," he laughed.

"What do you mean?"

"What's up with you today? Did you take a memory loss pill or something?"

"No," I whispered, setting the photo back on the mantle, I turned around to look at him, but he wasn't there.

Nothing was, the room was completely empty.

And cold.

Far colder than it should be in the summer, even in Seattle. Small white clouds formed with each quivered breath, my arms instinctively wrapping around my torso in a miserable attempt to hold in what little body heat I had.

I walked back to the sliding door, needing the warmth of the morning sun. Pulling it open, I was greeted with a snow-covered mountain. Towering pine trees surround me, covered in a thick layer of fresh white power, with only a small opening for a road, where I could see the mountain peak in the distance.

"Roza, what are you doing, it's freezing out here," Dimitri's rich voice filtered through the cold air, warming my body instantly.

Draping his duster over my shoulders, he turned me around to go back into the house, or cabin I should say, much like the one at the Academy. Inside a fire was raging, heating the room and giving it a soft romantic glow. He sat me in front of the fire, before grabbing a few blankets from a closet in the hallway.

"What were you doing out there, Roza, you could have gotten frostbite," his concerned tone stabbed me in the heart, lodging any response I could have given in my throat.

He pulled my socks off my feet, rubbing them back to life, while I watched his movements with a curious eye. How did I go from an apartment _or whatever that had been_ , in Seattle, to a cabin in the mountains?

"Are you getting cold feet?" his voice only a whisper, "I mean, other than literally from walking outside in the snow with only socks on," he chuckled, bringing his eyes to mine, the firelight making the brown of his eyes flicker with gold.

"Why would I be?" I questioned back because honestly, I have no idea what my answer should be.

"It's a big step," he shrugged his shoulders, "and I know you wanted to wait until there was a 2 in front of your age to get married. I just want to make sure you don't regret saying yes."

"Never," I whispered, a boyish smile spreading across his handsome face.

I have no idea as to why my mind decided tonight was the night to play tricks, but there is one thing I know for certain, I would never regret saying yes to him. That is, if we lived in a world where we could make it work, I would jump at the chance to be his wife, with zero fear of crash landing.

He leaned forward, crushing his lips to mine, his tongue flicking across my bottom lip requesting entrance, to which I granted immediately, wrapping my hands around his neck. I moaned into his mouth, shifting myself to lay down, bringing him with me.

His length pressed against my thigh, dangerously close to where I wanted him, _needed him_. Dragging my nails down his chest, he growled his pleasure, or pain, I'm not entirely sure, since he gripped my wrist and pulled back.

"Not tonight, Roza," his voice thick with desire, "the next time I claim your body, it will be as my wife."

"Please, Dimitri," I begged, adding a little whimper at the end in hopes of cracking his willpower.

A growl built in his chest, rumbling under my palm that rested over his heart. I rubbed my thumb over his right peck, feeling a rough spot on his skin. My eyes dropped from his heated gaze, that I was almost positive was about to give in to my pleas, and located the scar I had felt. It was no bigger than a quarter and just shy of being directly over his heart.

 _When and how did that get there?_

Before I could ask him, his body lifted off of mine, flickering like a light about to go out. I was losing him, this dream, _and damn it if I wasn't enjoying this one_.

A crash sounded at the back of the cabin, drawing both of our attention to it. "Dimi…" I looked back, but he was gone.

"Little Dhampir," Adrian's voice rang from the back of the house.

"Adrian!"

"Fuck," he ran down the hall, finally coming into view. "I have been searching for you," kneeling in front of me, he took my face in his hands, "You have to wake up, Rose, he's fucking with you and I need you to pull out of it."

"What are you talking about? And who is fucking with me?"

"Robert," he answered like I should know that name, but it wasn't ringing any bells, "Fuck, Rose," he began to flicker like Dimitri had moments ago, "WAKE UP," he screeched just before vanishing into thin air.

I called out for him, but he didn't answer, no one answered.

I don't know who this Robert person is, but I need to find out. The only thing I can assume at this moment is whoever he is, he is a Spirit user, and this is a dream he doesn't want me to leave.

Every time Adrian had pulled me into one in the past, I hadn't been able to leave on my own unless someone on the outside woke me up. However, I doubt there is anyone around in the real world to pull me out of it.

 _Think, Rose, think._

Grounding myself to thoughts of Adrian, somewhere in the house in Spokane, with God knows what happening to him right now. Dimitri, at the Academy, _or would he be in Seattle by now,_ worrying endlessly about me. Lissa, and the possible broken bond between us. Is she okay, or was it my moment of death that severed the bond? Or is it still there but burned out for the moment?

Lastly, I thought of Mason, Christian, Mia, and Eddie. We had all been trapped here once, and even if we didn't all make it out alive, we did survive the torture, the plans they had for us.

I could do it again.

I could get out of here.

 _Just focus, Rose. Focus on the real world. On waking up. Focus._

I laid on the couch, closing my eyes, willing for the next time I open them to be back in the basement. I continued to think about Dimitri, Adrian, Lissa, and everyone else I have ever loved in my life. And even those I didn't know about, like my father. I want to meet him, to at least be able to say I have.

 _Wake up,_ I whispered to myself and opened my eyes.

Nope. Didn't work.

Again and again, I repeated the process, until I grew frustrated with achieving nothing.

"UGH," I groaned, sitting up and opening my eyes.

"Good morning to you too, love," Brayden smiled wide, "did you have a good sleep?"

"I feel like you already know the answer to that," I groaned, taking in my surroundings.

I was no longer in the basement, in fact, I could argue I was no longer in the same house. I laid on a bed, a _real_ bed, in a modestly sized room. Butterfly wallpaper decorated the walls, _tacky_ , and two light wood nightstands sat on either side of me, one holding a glass of water, and a bottle of ibuprofen.

"Ryder said you broke a couple fingers," he nodded toward the pills, "in case your in any pain."

"Thanks," I deadpanned, unable to process his sudden kindness. "Who's Ryder?"

"The Guardian."

I nodded, "So, is this the part where you tell me your grand plan? How you plan to convince me to do whatever it is that you have drawn up in your twisted mind?"

"Not my plans, Rose," he chuckled, "Boss wasn't too happy with what happened at the hotel, or when you got here, so he told me I have to take care of you now. Punishment," he shrugged. "So, I am simply here to make sure you don't need anything." He leaned back in the blue armchair, drawing one leg up to rest on the opposite knee at his ankle.

"Where's Adrian?"

"Asleep in his own room down the hall."

"Where…" I started to ask where we were, but the door to my room opened, Mr. Macho's, Ryder's, large frame filling the space.

"He's ready for her," his eyes met mine, a soft sad smile tugged at his lips, disappearing as quickly as it came.

Brayden rose, pulling a set of handcuffs from his back pocket, "Can I trust you?" he pinned his chocolate eyes to mine.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" I retorted.

"You could, doesn't make a difference," he shrugged, pulling me from the bed, he spun me around to cuff my hands behind my back, "If you had said yes," he locked the first down, a little too tight, "I would have cuffed you in the front," he snapped down the other, tighter than the first.

 _Ass._

Guiding me from the room, we turned right, but not before I caught a glimpse of what was to my left. Down the hall where three other doors, one beside mine, and two on the other side. I assumed one to be a bathroom, the other two bedrooms, yet, I still don't know which one Adrian could be in. Reaching the bottom of the stairs, I took in the living room.

Unlike the basement, everything here had changed. The ugly clawfoot sofas had been replaced with modern leather recliners and a loveseat. The swords, as expected, were no longer hung above the fireplace, but instead a family portrait. As much as I tried to identify the people in the picture, I hadn't recognized any of them, only their eyes.

Dashkov's.

The door to the basement opened, drawing my attention away from the fireplace. An older gentleman stepped through. _This must be Robert._ If his salt and pepper hair hadn't given away his age, the wrinkles and his struggle to walk would have. He kept one hand on the wall, the other held by another Guardian.

How is this man behind everything that has happened? He doesn't appear to be physically capable of doing much harm to anyone. Then again, that's why Brayden and Ryder are here, they are the muscle, he is the brain.

His eyes met mine as they made it into the living room, a smile pulling at his lips, "Rose," he whispered. "My dear, take a seat, please."

The other Guardian helped him into one of the recliners, while Brayden led me to the couch. The leather squeaked under our weight, and every time I shifted, needless to say, I tried to sit as still as possible.

"Brayden, take those things off of her," Robert instructed, "I want her to be comfortable."

 _Uh. Okay._ _I am officially lost._

"Rose, dear, have they told you anything as to why you are here?"

"No."

"Do you know who I am?"

"No."

"My name is Robert Doru, my brother is Victor Dashkov." My guard shot up, my anger right behind it. "Now, I know what he did, and just so you are aware, I do not approve of his actions."

"So what do you want with me," I bit out through clenched teeth.

"I need you to help me," he started, pausing for whatever reason. Dramatic effect, or a response from me, "I have an offer for you. One that would benefit us both nicely."

"I'm listening."

He tilted his head to the side, his eyes roaming the area around my body- _reading my aura._ After several moments of staring at each other, he closed his eyes, drawing in a deep breath. I opened my mouth to tell him to get on with it, but snapped it shut when I felt something… I don't even know how to describe it. It was almost as if someone had reached into my skull and was running their fingers around my brain. Soft, yet forceful, but more than anything, invading.

"You enjoyed the dreams," he smiled, opening his eyes to take in my reaction.

I ground my teeth, refusing to answer. I did enjoy them, but I was more confused about the events, the places, and the pictures, than happy about being with Dimitri. About Eddie being alive.

"It's okay, Rose, you don't have to speak," he sighed, "but if you want those dreams to become a reality, you may want to listen."

"They can't."

"Oh- but my dear, they can." He snapped his fingers, telling the Guardian in the corner to come over.

Handing me an IPad, he clicked it on and I lost my ability to breathe for the umpteenth time today. The video was grainy and light minimal, but I could see just enough. Sitting in an execution-style chair _-you know, the ones with the two by four arms and legs, bolted to the ground-_ with several chains wrapped around his torso, his arms, and legs strapped to the chair with thick leather bounds, was the one and only, Eddie Castile.

My finger traced the screen where he sat, my eyes clouded over with tears I desperately tried to rein in. Not being able to see his eyes, or the paperwhite shade of his skin, he looked just as I remembered. _My Eddie_. My brother. But I know if I look at him up close, all the signs will be there. His hazel eyes ringed in red, his skin would be paler than any Moroi, and fangs where they shouldn't be.

What really threw me off though, what _really_ turned my gears on overdrive was how they captured him? And why does he appear so calm, as if he is sleeping?

"You see, Rose, I am willing to help you, if you are willing to do one small thing for me."

"How is…" I paused, clearing my throat of the sobs steadily climbing, "how is this helping me?"

"I can turn him back." His answer was simple as if we were discussing a chance of rain, but I couldn't help the watery laugh that popped out of my throat.

"You're serious? You really think I would believe that?"

"You should, considering the man behind you was Strigoi once upon a time too," he smiled.

Straightening my spine, I turned to see Ryder leaning against the wall, sorrow and shame, and guilt swimming in his eyes. Reaching behind him, he pulled his shirt over his head, leaving his chest bare for me to see a scar covering his heart.

"I was turned several years ago. I spent a year in that state before Robert restored me."

I could tell there was a lot more to his story than he was willing to share, so I didn't pry, focusing back on Robert, "How?"

"Spirit." _Of fucking course_. "It's very powerful, as you well know."

"I am not agreeing to this, but I will consider it if you explain to me what happened at the hotel that night? Adrian said I was bleeding, badly, but I bare no evidence, and I can no longer feel my bondmate. Not to mention, when I woke up here, I was bound in the basement like a fucking prisoner, so forgive me for not understanding how you are so willing to help me."

"I understand, Rose. I do apologize for how things happened to get you here."

"And why here? Why this house?"

I was standing now, pacing the room between the couch and where Ryder was posted against the wall. No one made a move to stop me, I guess they realized I wanted answers, and Adrian and Eddie, more than I wanted to run.

"Have a seat, I will tell you everything you wish to know."

"I'd rather stand if you don't mind."

"Suit yourself," he chuckled and I shot him a _get-on-with-it_ glare. "I had sent Brayden to the hotel to explain some things to you, to persuade you to negotiate an agreement with me. However, you attacked him, and he fought back. He was not supposed to harm you, but you proved to be a resilient fighter and he was left with no choice but to subdue you or be killed in the process." _I wouldn't kill a human, no matter how creepy._

"In the struggle, you were stabbed with the stake _you_ held. I am not sure, as not even he can exactly remember, how it happened. Your _friend_ knocked him out and attempted to save you, but in his condition, there was no way he would be able too. You were already gone, and you can not be saved by Spirit twice."

"So how am I alive?" a _valid question. Right?_

"I healed your wounds, but an AED and CPR brought you back to life. Explaining how you are no longer connected to your bondmate. When your heart stopped, the bond broke. You are no longer subject to the darkness."

 _Huh._ I am a little cross about that. I should be ecstatic that I no longer have to worry about Lissa's madness bleeding into me, but instead of losing fear for myself, I gain fear for Liss. She will have to handle everything on her own, will she be able too? Will she lose her mind in the end? Or will she go back to her meds and cut herself off from the magic?

"The reason you were restrained here was to keep you from harming anyone else."

"Then why did you make it seem like he wanted me dead?" I angled my question toward Brayden, "and why did you take Adrian away?"

"Mr. Brayden is.."

"An asshole?"

"That's one way of putting it," Robert laughed, while Brayden shrugged. "He has been advised of his punishment, and how to deal with our guest."

"Guest," I snorted. "Like this is some type of fucking resort."

"If you help me, you will be out of here in no time."

"Why this house?"

"One of my men followed your friend downstairs here, seemed he had been staying here, so we came to him. It wasn't until a few days ago I found out what happened here after talking to him. I promise it was not intentional, Rose."

 _Wait. He talked to Eddie. Like actually talked to him?_ I'll come back to that, I still have other questions I need to be answered before I focus on getting to Eddie, "Why me?"

"I know of your reputation, from Victor as well as gossip in our world. You and the Princess leaving the Academy made every headline, it was hard not to notice. When I heard of what he did you, how you avoided him while on the run and saved Vasilisa in the end, well, I knew the rumors to be true. You would go into the history books, you would lead your generation, and you would change the way of our world. You may be rogue, brash, and impulsive, but you're smarter than most, and determined, that makes all the difference."

"How did you find me?"

"Oh, that was pure chance," he laughed, "I was in the area talking with a possible investor, and I saw you sitting in the back of that bar. I instantly knew who you were, and I needed you on my team. So I had Ryder make an inquiry, and well, now we're here."

"How did you bring him back?"

"A charmed stake. Simple as that, though it does take a bit out of me," he gestured toward his rapidly aging body, "each time, it's as if I age five years. It's not something to be shared, or abused by our world, but I am willing to do it once more to save your friend. That is…"

"If I help you," I finished for him, "so, what is it that you want from me?"

"Nothing too challenging," he paused again, his eyes locking onto mine as he deadpanned his request. "I just need you to kill the Queen."

I stared at him gobsmacked. _Kill the Queen. Queen Tatiana Ivashkov. Adrian's Great-Aunt._ He can't be fucking serious right now. The darkness has _seriously_ gone to his head. Not only is the question why bouncing around my head like a racketball, but the what and hows are there too.

Why does he want her dead? What benefit will that give him? It's not like her death will free Victor. Is this even about Victor? He said he didn't agree with what he did to Lissa. What is the purpose? And for a brief, _microsecond,_ I wondered, how could I even get close enough _to_ kill her?

"I can see your unease, Rose, so let me explain." _yes, please do,_ "Several years ago, my bondmate was killed. It destroyed me for some time, but eventually, I moved on. I began testing the element of Spirit, wondering what all we could do with it. About ten or so years ago, I restored my first Strigoi, to say I was amazed that it worked would be an understatement. I studied him for some time, trying to dissect exactly what happened. Eventually, he ran off, and I haven't seen him since. But I had his blood samples, and I found that his blood brimmed with Spirit. If I could find a way to inject the power into Guardians, even Moroi, there was a chance that we could end the cycle."

"An anti-virus, for being turned?"

"Exactly," he beamed, "but Tatiana shot down my plans. She refused to allow me to use the court's resources to experiment and being the bastard child I am, I didn't have funding to pursue it."

"So you want to off her, and repurpose the idea to the new monarch?"

"Not just _any_ new monarch, but one that would understand the importance, the power behind Spirit and want to explore it."

"Lissa," I barely whispered, but he heard me loud and clear.

"Precisely."

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **How has your week been, loves?**

 **I am currently taking a Stay-cation helping my Mama in her shop for V-Day. So lots of writing and reading going on for me these last few days.**

 **I have been asked how many more chapters we have, and to answer that, not many. Five at most after this one, but there will be more news to come when this one is over. Hold tight and I promise, I will not let your little Romitri hearts down.**

 **Now, as for this update, share your thoughts in the reviews.**

 **Question: What is one song that you hear and immediately think about our duo?**

 **(if you can't tell, I need some more ideas for the songfics. I plan to do a few more of those between this and the next story)**

 **All My Love,**

 **Dream**


	22. Chapter Twenty One

_**Happy Sunday Loves!**_

 _ **Thank you for all of the new faves/follows! I am glad you are all enjoying this!**_

 _ **Oh- and the reviews too! I love to hear your thoughts!**_

* * *

 _ **Chapter Twenty One**_

 _ **Abe**_

 _Worthless piece of shit._

 _In my line of work, as you can predict, I deal with many people who deserve nothing more than a life sentence in Tarasov for the atrocities they have committed. And I have no problem playing the role of Judge, jury, and in some cases, executioner._

 _Alright, that last one is a stretch -my hands are clean, my wallet, well that is another story._

 _Dusting my hands of the imaginary filth that is Randall Ivashkov, I take a moment on the porch of Olena Belikova's home to compose myself. The evening sky is painted in an array of colors, an image that any skilled artist would envy. The way the shades of orange and pink ebb and flow together, blending in a way that is simply impossible to replicate on canvas._

 _I have always been one to soak in the little things in life; though my many homes, Guardian detail, and a private plane would argue that I prefer to live lavishly. Be that as it may, I thoroughly enjoy the smaller things the world has to offer. A hot cup of tea on a cold morning, the feel of the weathered pages of my favorite novel, or the sight of the sun setting on a brisk autumn evening._

 _Most of all, above anything else, the sight of my daughter's smile._

 _Deep breath, Abe._

'Forgive me' _, I whisper to myself, sending my plea to the heavens that maybe one day, Rosemarie will forgive me for the choices I have made. Choices that left her to grow up at an Academy -thousands of miles away from her home; not knowing who I am until she is old enough to understand why I couldn't be there, even though I wish for nothing more than to be with her._

 _But, above all, I hope she can forgive me for the life I live. I didn't choose to walk the path of a notorious mobster by choice, not exactly. I wanted to have the life I was denied growing up. I wanted to provide my family with the things I didn't have. What started as simple dealings in trade, real estate, and stocks, quickly turned into so much more._

 _I have committed crimes, tortured people, and paid others to handle my dirty work. I am not proud of some,_ okay, most, _of the things I have done, but I can not take it back. I have made my bed, lumps and all, and now I must lay in it. If there is any mercy for the things I have done, it would be in the forgiveness of my daughter. If not, then I will carry my burdens to my grave._

" _Mr… Mazur." I turned around to see Olena's only son, Dimitri, standing in the doorway. "Is he.." he scanned the lawn, fury still evident in his eyes, "is he gone?"_

" _He is," I nodded, placing one hand on his shoulder, "and I assure you, Son, he is_ never _coming back."_

 _His shoulders sagged immediately with relief, only to be followed with a tsunami of guilt washing over his body. He fell forward, landing on his knees and buried his face into gauzed hands._

 _For a moment,_ just one _, I didn't know what to do. It is not often that I am rendered incapable of speaking or acting, but watching this child fall to pieces, a crack formed in my armor._

 _My reputation precedes me. I am the man who knows no sorrow, no empathy, no pain, as I stare down the demons of this earth, yet the sight before me sends a shooting pain through my heart. And if I am being truthful, it is something I have only experienced once._

The day Janine took Rosemarie away.

" _Dimitri," I kneeled, bringing myself down to his level, "everything is going to be alright now. You don't ever have to worry about him again."_

" _Not.. him.." he stumbled out between sobs._

" _What do you mean?" I kept my tone low, compassionate._

 _He lifted his head, brown eyes locking onto mine, "Me," his fist pounded his chest, "I wanted to hurt him, kill him, I am no better than he is."_

" _Dry your eyes, Son," I commanded. Leaning back on his heels, he wiped his face, drawing several deep breaths. "Let me explain something to you, Dimitri. There are three types of people in this world. The sheep- the innocents who simply go about their day. The Wolves- who pray on the innocent, who believe they are superior in life. And the Sheepdogs. Us."_

" _The protectors," he whispered._

" _Exactly," I nodded, shifting in my spot, I leaned back against the railing, crossing one ankle over the other, "You see, sometimes, as protectors, we have to use force to keep our flock safe. Your standing up to him, using force to stop him from harming your mother further, doesn't make you a wolf, it doesn't make you like him. He hurts people for his own enjoyment, you don't. As long as you understand the difference, that is what truly matters."_

 _He sat silently, staring at his hands resting in his lap. I can only imagine the turmoil this boy is experiencing. My own father was not the best role model, maybe that is why this particular situation is sinking into my heart faster than the Titanic. I wish I had his courage when I was his age, but I had been the opposite._

 _When I was thirteen, I was about half of Dimitri's size. I hadn't quite hit my growth spurt yet, in fact, I didn't hit it until I was nineteen, finally stopping at six foot three when I turned twenty-two. And muscle- yeah, forget about that. Like most Moroi, I had noodle arms, and my legs were nothing but two twigs hanging from my slender waist. I was picked on, bullied, and shoved in far more lockers than I like to admit. But, I wouldn't be who I am today if it wasn't for people like my father, or Randall, and all of the other bullies of the world._

 _Clearing his throat, his eyes met mine again, "I understand."_

" _Good." I nodded and moved to stand up, lending him a hand to rise back to his feet. "If you ever need anything, anything at all, you know how to find me."_

" _Thank you, Mr. Mazur," he stuck out his hand, which I took without a thought. "For everything."_

" _There is no thanks required, just take care of your mother and sisters."_

" _I will."_

 _I stepped from the porch, stopping on the last step to look back at the young man who had to grow up far faster than he should have. The determined set in his shoulders, the stoic look covering his face, and the way he appeared larger than he actually is, and I knew I wouldn't have to worry about him. He would lead the pack one day. He will rise from the ashes of his father's destruction, and fly high above the rest._

 _Just like I did._

" _I expect great things from you, Dimitri, great things."_

A loud crash pulled me from my memories. My head snapped forward from where I had rested it against the back of the chair to see Dimitri standing on the other side of the room. His hair wrapped around his fingers as he pulled it roughly. His eyes glazed over with anger, fear, pain, and _love_.

Love for my daughter.

I will admit, I am still not sure how to handle the realization that he was having a relationship with her, but it is not something I have time nor energy to focus on at this moment.

"Belikov, settle down," Pavel growled as Dimitri lifted a chair and effortlessly threw it across the living area.

"No," he roared back, his voice too close to another I had heard once upon a time.

I stood to full height, moving to stand in front of him. He had a few inches on me, but pinning him with my gaze, he became a child again, falling to his knees just as he had thirteen years ago on his mother's porch.

"What happened?" I asked both of them.

Dimitri's shoulders shook, his face buried in his hands, as he hunched forward.

"It's finally sinking in," Pavel whispered from beside me, "seeing the room," he shook his head, "I don't think he was really prepared for it."

I nodded, understanding all too well the pain he is feeling at this moment.

The moment Dimitri opened the door their suite, my breath caught in my throat. Seeing, _smelling_ , the blood that coated the carpet, the couch, I couldn't breathe. It's why I stepped back immediately, letting them go in to process the scene while I called Miss Sage.

I have seen and done many things in my life that I am not proud of. I have paid people to do things such as this, kidnap and dispose of those who didn't deserve to live another day. But seeing my daughters room that way, I have never been more disgusted or terrified in my entire life. Not that I was going to let that show in front of anyone, much like Dimitri, I would wait until I was in private, or only in the presence of Pavel, before I completely lost my marbles.

There is a part of me that wants to kneel in front of him, to show him that no matter how strong you are, somethings can and will break you. Though my reputation presents me as a man incapable of empathy, of feeling a single ounce of pain for anyone, I can, and I am hurt by these events too. But, I have to show him that it is in times like this where we have to stand strong, rise above our own pain, and face the demons that try to break us.

"Dimitri, dry your eyes," I spoke evenly, his eyes rose to meet mine, tears crashing like waves over his cheeks. "Stand up, Son."

Pulling the hem of his shirt up, he dried his face and rose back to his feet. His eyes held mine, but neither of us spoke just yet. I couldn't help but take into account the pure despair running rampant on his face. I had only seen this look on him once, and it was because of his Mother.

There is something to be said about a man who looks at his woman the way he does his mother. He sees her as his responsibility to protect, to love and take care of. And though he has verbally told me how much he cares for Rosemarie, how she makes him feel, it is in his eyes at this moment, that I can truly understand the depth of his love for her.

Placing my hands on his neck, I pushed his chin up, pinning my eyes to his, "Stop," _it's an order, not a request,_ "I need you to focus, to push everything you are feeling right now down so that we can find her. Once we do, you can break, I will break down with you, but right now, I need you to get your head on straight. Understood?"

"I'm sorry," he mumbled.

I am not sure if he is saying he is sorry for his outburst or his role in everything that has happened up to this point, but it didn't matter. I know he regrets his choices. I know he wishes he had done things differently.

Because I do too.

I am not perfect, Lord knows I have made my fair share of mistakes, but there has not been a day that I didn't wish to be better.

A better man.

A better son.

A better brother.

A better husband.

A better father.

I may not be able to go back in time and fix the wrongs I have committed, but I can start over right here, and make sure I don't make the same mistakes twice. When I get her back, I won't let her go again.

"I know," I nodded, dropping my hands to his shoulders, I squeezed tightly, before dropping them both and turning toward Pavel, "now, let's go over what you have found."

Pavel took the lead, laying out the series of events that took place based off of the information they gathered.

Based on the scene, and the wards around the hotel still intact, it is obvious that humans were involved. If this Novice she had been chasing teamed up with humans in the area, who knows the type of person we could be looking for. They could be a homeless junkie, or a college student, or an outstanding member of society. Whoever they are, they should ensure they pray to whomever it is they pray to, that when I find them - _and I_ will _find them-_ I show mercy and kill them quickly. _And make no mistake,_ I _will be the one to handle this._

"Adrian hadn't mentioned anyone to you at all?" I asked Dimitri.

"No, he only told me about her fights," he shook his head, running his fingers through his hair, "and even that wasn't much. He would only say how many fights she had, and if she had been hurt."

"Do we know how many she has killed," Pavel asked.

"When I last talked to him, she was at four," Dimitri's lip twitched, suppressing a smile, "but it is probably more by now."

"She has you to thank for her skill," I praised.

"No sir, that is all her. She was born with the instinct, I just helped her figure out how to use it."

Smart answer, Belikov.

I opened my mouth to tell him as much, only to be interrupted by a knock on my door.

Pavel pulled his pistol from his waist and moved toward the door. Dimitri took up a protective stance in front of me, earning himself a few more brownie points. Not that he is trying, it's simply natural for him, but it reinforces the idea that he has become the person I hoped he would.

"Miss Sage, come in," Pavel opened the door wider, allowing the young Alchemist to enter the room.

"Thank you for meeting us here," I nodded my appreciation.

"Yes, Sir," she returned my nod, clearing her throat, she handed each of us a file, "This is all of the information I could pull on the owner of the diner she frequented. He is the only person I saw her with more than once, she seemed comfortable around him."

Flipping open the file, I noted a familiar face. Granted I had not seen him in many years, but I recognized him as Zachariah's Guardian, Michael. He wouldn't hurt her, would he? He was a Guardian, if anything, he would offer her sanctuary.

"Are you sure there was no one else, any humans perhaps?"

"N..not that I noticed." I could actually see her shiver, along with the goosebumps that began to show on her arms.

"Pavel, will you have Hensen take Miss Sage to their room, collect samples from anything that could be of use. Belikov, please ready the car, I think we should pay Michael a visit."

Pavel and Dimitri headed out to complete their task, while I looked over the packets Miss Sage had been able to compile. The Alchemist track all Strigoi killings, so it is no surprise that she pulled the information about random Strigoi bodies lying around the city.

Rose wouldn't have been told of them yet, so she is none the wiser as to who they are, or what purpose they serve in our world. Which is why I had Sydney come looking for her and not a team of Guardians. She would be able to pick Dhampirs out of a crowd with ease, but a human girl -she would have looked right past.

I must admit, for being so young, Miss Sage is excellent at her job. Every move Rose made in the last three days since Sydney arrived here was cataloged in great detail. Dates, times, her clothing, the people she spoke to, and the routes she drove to and from the hotel. She even made a spreadsheet of Rose's actions inside and outside of the bars. Her drink orders and each time she moved seats. I may need to hire her as my personal Alchemist for my Guardian's records, her attention to detail is phenomenal.

"Ready when you are," Pavel called out to me from the open doorway. Grabbing my coat and briefcase, I proceeded out the door with him. "What are you thinking?"

"More than I can really process right now," I sighed.

"We will find her, Abe, that is a promise."

"But how will we find her?" Jamming my finger on the elevator button, we waited on it to rise. Leaning against the wall, I rested my head back, looking up to the ceiling, "What am I going to do if.."

"Stop," he ordered, putting one hand over my heart, "Stop thinking negatively."

"Forgive me, but I can't seem to see anything positive right now. My daughter ran away from school, leaving more than just an education behind, and is now missing and most likely dead," I growled, "how else do you explain the bond breaking?"

"We don't know that it's broken," he shook his head, "Belikov didn't say…" the elevator dinged, cutting him off. Stepping inside, he continued, "he said it may have opened, let's look at the glass half full here."

"My glass hasn't been half full in a very long time," I mumbled.

Pavel nodded softly, he understood. Ever since Janine took Rosemarie to Allie, my entire life has been empty. The only thing that kept me moving forward was knowing each day that passed was a day closer to Rose turning eighteen and my getting to see her again. Until then, until I looked into the dark eyes that mirrored my own, nothing in this world could refill that glass.

And based on this feeling rolling through my stomach, I have a strong hunch that it will never be filled again.

"I can feel it," I whispered, "something awful has happened to her."

"That may be, but remember, she's _your_ daughter, she won't go down without a fight."

I chuckled, just as the elevator stopped on the ground floor, "True."

Pavel stepped out first, turning toward the left toward the door where we would meet Dimitri out front. Something must have tickled his Guardian senses because his hand moved to his waist where his stake and pistol are holstered. The closer we got to the doors, the louder the commotion outside became.

Three of my Guardians were holding Dimitri back from something, someone. Henderson stood in front of him, pushing at his chest, telling him this isn't the way to go about things. Pavel rushed forward, I followed on his heels until we could see exactly what was happening.

"Well, I'll be," I chuckled, "just the man we were looking for."

Pavel and Vincent lifted Michael back to his feet, each holding one arm as I moved to stand in front of him.

If seeing me came as a surprise, he didn't show it. Even with a bloody lip, blood rushing from his nose, one eye showing signs of swelling -and by the way he is holding his left side- a broken rib or two, his face was impassive, completely unphased by my presence.

"Zmey," he nodded, "to what do I owe this pleasure?"

"I am hoping you could tell me," I smirked, tilting my head, I locked my eyes to his. Compulsion is below me, I don't tend to use it unless necessary to withdrawal the information I need from unwilling participants. I would give him a chance to answer honestly, before deciding if _other_ tactics would be required. "What are you doing here?"

"Just meeting a friend."

 _Vague. Not going to cut it._ "Care to provide a little more detail? A name perhaps?"

"Jett Steele. I had a rather unusual dream about him and wanted to check in on him and his wife."

"What happened in the dream?" Dimitri yelled from behind me.

Michael looked between us, hesitant to answer the man responsible for his injuries. "What happened," I asked again, adding a harder edge to my voice.

"We were in a basement, he said something happened to Rose," _Did my heart just stop? I am positive it did._ "He was trying to explain where they were, but then the dream cut out. So I came here to check on them."

"What were his _exact_ words?"

"He said, 'she's been here before'."

I turned around to look at Dimitri, raising a brow, silently asking if he had any inkling as to where Michael could be talking about. His brows pinched together, eyes focused on the ground in front of him, bouncing back and forth. I watched the cogs turn in his mind, growing impatient by the second, but knew I had to wait it out while he worked through the puzzle.

"Belikov," I whisper-yelled after almost a minute passed, "what are you thinking?"

"It may be a long shot, but the only place I can think of that is relatively close to here that Rose has been to before is in Spokane. It's about four hours east, and last I knew, the house was condemned after what happened."

"It's better than nothing," I whispered to myself, "Pavel, Dimitri, pack the room. Henderson, gather the men and prepare to leave. Kaplan, meet with Miss Sage and have her secure us a hotel in Spokane, run security as soon as you have a location."

My men moved as the orders were given, leaving only Michael and me outside the hotel. Turning back to him, I pinned him with a stare that is known to bring grown men to their knees.

"As for you, I have a few more questions."

* * *

Author's Note:

Just a bit of a filler, though, I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless.

We are approaching the end here soon, and these last few chapters are the hardest. Trying to fit all the little details into a nice neat package, while not jumping too much.

Leave your thoughts on the way out, I love to know what you guys are thinking.

 **Question:** What is the last book/movie that made you ugly cry?

I just finished 'ON THE EDGE' by Dr. Rebecca Sharp last night, and I was in full-blown ugly cry mode at three AM. It has been a good minute (considering I read three to four books a week) that I have felt that much emotion in the pages. If you enjoy angst-riddled stories, you HAVE to check that one out. SO MANY FEELS!

Have A Great Week!

All My Love,

Dream


	23. Chapter Twenty Two

_**Chapter Twenty Two**_

 _ **Rose**_

"I want to see him."

I have listened to Robert's incessant babbling for the last hour, and I have drawn the conclusion that this man is _completely_ off his rocker. Reluctant at first, I eventually believed his tale of restoring a Strigoi with hearing Ryder's testimony. _That was heartbreaking, to say the least._ But I am still leery about the idea of being able to create an anti-virus. The principle sounds plausible, but the implication, now that is where I see doubt.

Robert had many ideas as to how you could administer something of this magnitude, but that's all it was -ideas. He has no concrete evidence of it working, or even an experimental product to examine. He has nothing but a notion in his head. Which can be a great start, if you know where to go from there. He, however, doesn't seem to have gotten that far.

My rope has grown thin with him, and if he even _thinks_ I am going to consider going along with his plans - _which, just so we are clear, I am not-_ , I need something in return. I need to see my brother.

"Very well," Robert nodded, "Brayden, please…"

"No," I jumped in, "I mean, can Ryder take me?"

Robert nodded again, and Ryder pushed off of the wall to escort me to the basement. He had explained how Robert healed him, in great detail too, which I was more than thankful for. You see, with the information he has provided me in the last hour, I know how to save Eddie without him. As well, I also know the bases of what he is trying to accomplish with this 'anti-turning solution'.

But more than that, Ryder has given me an insight into what he went through after his transition. He can recall with perfect clarity every single detail of his time as a Strigoi. Every. Single. One. Every person he killed, every woman he abused - _physically and sexually-_ , every day and every night. It eats him alive daily, making him contemplate taking his own life as to not have to deal with the memories. And he has almost succeeded, twice.

After listening to him, I have to ask myself, is that the life Eddie would want? Would he rather be saved, and live with the guilt, or be killed and find peace in the afterlife. With Mason.

Grabbing the thin wood railing, I slowly descended the stairs. With every step, my breath drew quicker, my heart beating faster. In the video, Eddie appeared to be calm, almost like he was resting. But what would he be like with me in the room? Is he restrained well enough that he won't be able to hurt me? _I really wish I had my stake right now._

Ryder stopped in front of the second to the last door, pulling a set of keys from his pocket. I laid my hand on his forearm, pulling his hand away from the lock.

"Do you wish he had killed you instead?" my voice was no louder than a whisper, but the pain etched on Ryder's face told me he heard me loud and clear.

"I used too, every day for the first few years, I wondered why they didn't just kill me. It's gotten… I wouldn't say easier, but it's better than it used to be."

"Is it wrong," I paused, trying to phrase this question the right way, "is it wrong of me to want him dead? To kill him, rather than save him and have him live with the things he has done? Even if it wasn't really him doing it?"

"He has only been this way a short time, he won't have the amount of guilt that I do."

"Yeah, but I know Eddie. After Mase… his best friend, died, all he could think about was protecting others, making sure that we didn't lose anyone else. If he has to live with knowing he killed innocent people, or whatever else he may have done," I stopped talking, a chill running down my spine, "I don't want to imagine what it would be like."

"Ask him."

"Is he really in the right state of mind to make a choice like that?" I tried to raise my brow, but I could feel them both move up.

He stuck the key in the lock, "Right now, he is wearing several charmed rings. The Spirit in them allows him to think and feel like a normal Dhampir, but the features are still there." He paused for a beat, allowing that tidbit of information to sink in, "Are you ready?"

Staring at the door, I mentally prepared myself. _It's just Eddie, everything is going to be fine. I've got this. It's no big deal. Just don't look him in the eyes._

"Open it."

Let me ask you something, have you ever had those moments when you feel like you are so ready to take on the world. Like SpongeBob heading in to take his drivers test for the eighteenth time. _I'm Ready. I'm Ready._ And then you take one step forward and want to turn around, run back into the comfort of your blankets and hide from the world?

Yep. I'm there.

It wasn't because of his sickly looking skin, or the fangs, and if the lighting was better, I would see the red in his eyes, yet that didn't disturb me the way I thought it would. No. Not in the slightest. What hit me square in the chest - _straight sucker punch to the heart-_ was when he spoke.

The way my name rolled off his tongue, ' _Hathaway',_ laced in shock and _agony_. His eyes held mine, a frown pulling his lips down, and his shoulders burdened. He appeared defeated, deflated, and embarrassed.

"Rose," Ryder whispered, pressing a hand on my lower back, pushing me further into the room. "He can't hurt you."

"I'm not worried about that," _I was earlier, but not now. Now,_ "Are you okay?" I asked Eddie, kneeling in front of him, I laid my hands on his knees. Both of his ankles were strapped to the chair, his wrist too, and the thick linked chain around his torso. He wasn't going anywhere, but I doubt he would want to. "Are they treating you well?"

"Better than they should," he whispered, not meeting my eyes, "I'm sorry, Rosie, so sorry."

"For what?"

"I failed, again. And _he_ told me about why I am here like this, about you," he paused, pulling a long breath through his nose, "you left the Academy for me, why?"

"Would you believe me if I said because Mason asked me to?"

"Right now, I would believe anything. Considering I am...what I am and I don't have the urge to kill everyone in this house right now." I nodded in understanding, "but you left _everything_ for me. There is more too it than Mason asking you."

I barely paused a moment to take in the way he said, _everything._ In the back of my mind, I wondered if he knew exactly what I walked away from. More or less, who.

"It doesn't matter," shaking my head, I blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. Hearing his voice, even if it is full of hurt, is a relief. It's as if for the first time in almost two months, I can breathe a bit easier. I can take _one_ thing off my plate, and feed someone else.

"It doesn't matter, but what _does_ matter is what you want to do next. You have a choice that no other Strigoi does." His head rose higher, eyes holding onto mine, "You have a chance to be restored, to become a Dhampir again."

A rich laugh flowed past his lips, the sound so close to the memories, "Did you hit your head? That's impossible."

Ryder stepped in, explaining to Eddie exactly what I was talking about. I watched Eddie's face transform from skeptical to amazed, his eyes brimming with hope. My own on the verge of overflowing from the amount of saltwater building up. I wanted Eddie to want to be saved, to want to come back and live a happy life with our little fucked up family. But I didn't want him to hurt. I didn't want him to feel the way Ryder does.

"Eddie," I pulled his attention back to me, "I know this is a lot to take in, and you don't have to say anything now, but I need you to know that this is your choice. Ryder can tell you that the transformation isn't a cakewalk, mentally especially."

"You don't want me to." _a statement, not a question._

"I want you to do what you feel is best for _you._ Believe me, there is nothing I want more than to have _my brother_ back, but I don't want you hating yourself, or me, for it."

His soft nod was the only response I received.

We sat in silence for several moments, simply relaxing into the feel of being around the other. Eddie and I had never been as close as he and Mason, but these last few months - _before his turning-_ we had become family. As Mason's best friend, he felt a responsibility to me, and I to him. We looked out for one another, as I believe Mase would have liked us too.

They say, blood is thicker than water, I call bullshit. My _family_ consists of people who share nothing with me genetically, yet, they are the most faithful, loyal, and loving people in my life. I walked away from them all, to give everyone a chance at a better future. Myself included. But I know, if I should ever call -in the middle of the night, or on a random Tuesday- they would answer and drop everything to be there for me. And I am the same.

After all, it's why I ended up here in the first place.

My desire for a different life may have been the final shove to get me to move, but even if I wanted my life to remain the same, I still would have left to chase Eddie. I owed it to him, to Mason, and to myself, to protect my family.

"Rose," Ryder placed a hand on my shoulder, pulling me from my thoughts, "we need to go."

"You're leaving?"

"Just upstairs," I reassured him, "think about what Ryder told you, what _you_ want to do. I'll be back soon, and we will figure things out, okay?" he nodded softly, "I love you, Eddie. I'm sorry it took me so long to find you."

"I love you too, Rosie. I'm sorry I failed you."

"You did not, and can not, fail me, Eddie. _Ever."_ Leaning in, I placed a gentle kiss to his forehead, surprised by how cold his skin felt.

I stepped from the room first, Ryder behind me securing the door, and I rested my back against the wall, sliding until my ass hit the concrete. Drawing my knees to my chest, I wrapped my arms around my shins. I didn't want Eddie to see me ugly cry, and I am not too pleased that Ryder is bearing witness to this snot fest, but I couldn't hold it in any longer.

Ryder slid down to sit beside me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. I turned into his side, the hard muscle grounding me. He whispered into my hair, repeating _'it's going to be okay',_ and _'I am here',_ over and over again. His reassurance was comforting, but I struggled to believe it.

The way I see it, either choice Eddie makes is going to hurt. If he chooses to be killed, I might as well stick a stake through my own heart after his. And if he chooses to live, what kind of emotional distress will he go through? Will I be strong enough to help him through? Will he be strong enough to overcome his guilt?

 _Will my dream come true?_

"How do you do it?" I whispered once the tears had run dry.

"Do what, Youngin?"

"Live with it? What makes you get up every day and keep going, knowing the things you have done?"

"That's a loaded question," he sighed, rubbing the back of his fingers up and down my arm, calming himself. "It took me a long, _long_ , time to come to terms with what I had been, the things I had done. But one day, something happened that made me see that I had been given a second chance, and I shouldn't waste it. I realized that there is too much beauty in the world to keep myself in a dungeon. Don't get me wrong, I still don't believe that I deserve to live after what I did. I still remember everything that happened during that year, but I have decided that I can't let it hold me back. I have to move on and appreciate the life I have been given back."

"When did it change?"

"Not long ago," he answered vaguely, clearing his throat, he shifted away from me, pushing himself back to his feet, "we should get back upstairs."

"Yeah." I wiped under my eyes, though the tears had dried on my cheeks long ago.

Climbing the stairs took far more effort that it should have. My head and heart heavy with the impending decisions I - _and Eddie-_ would have to make. This is no question that I don't want to let him go, after all, I have already lost everyone else. If there is a way to save him, keep him with me and be a family - _even a fake one-_ I would do everything in my power to hold him close.

Robert was nowhere to be seen when we walked back into the living room, only Brayden occupied a single chair. Ryder steered me toward the narrow staircase and escorted me to my room.

"Can I use the bathroom?"

Nodding toward the first door on the right side of the hall, he stood against the wall by my door. I smiled my 'thanks' and stepped into solitude. A plain white shower curtain covered the combination bathtub/shower. Beige paint coated the walls, and a three-door cabinet hid the toilet in the corner. And no windows.

Not that I would attempt a straight second-story drop, but at least I could have seen outside, possibly signaled someone for help. Looking through the cabinets, I found nothing useful. _Plunger. Toilet brush. Lysol. Shampoo. Conditioner. Body wash. Towels. A box of tampons._

I paused only a moment to wonder…. Did they go and buy all of this for us? The towels looked new, some still had tags, and last I checked, I am the only female in the house. Resigned to the fact that nothing in here was going to help get us out, I used the toilet, washed my hands and stepped back out into the hall.

Ryder still stood against the wall, his head tilted back, looking at the popcorn ceiling. Hearing the door, he brought his eyes down to mine, the sky blues almost see through with the way his heart shown in them. I don't doubt he is feeling a bit emotional today. He had to tell his story not once, but twice, and I can imagine how much it's hurting him.

"Can I see Adrian, just for a second?"

Stepping forward, he leaned forward to look down the stairs. Brayden still sat in the same recliner, looking as if he was going to pass out any moment. Ryder's eyes flicked between the two of us, his resolve to follow the rules slipping.

"Be quick, and be quiet," he pointed to the last door on the right and looked back downstairs again.

"Thank you," I whispered, walking down the short hall and into Adrian's room on the end.

Much like mine, it is skimpy on furniture, only the bed, and nightstands. The same tacky butterfly wallpaper, and the same style armchair in the corner. Adrian laid in the middle of the bed, eyes closed, chest steadily rising and falling. He looked to be uninjured, except for the small cut on his lip. He still wore the same clothes from the hotel, unlike me, and his hair stood straight as if he has been running his fingers through it repeatedly.

I sat on the edge of the bed, placing a tender hand on his arm, "Adrian."

His eyes snapped open wide, "Ro..." I clamped my hand over his mouth, silencing him. The last thing we need is Brayden to hear him. Holding a finger to my lips, he nodded, understanding my order. "God," he whispered, he pulled me down to lay beside him, wrapping his arms around me, "I have been worried sick about you."

"I am okay," I reassured him, "how are you, have you had any blood since we got here?"

He scrunched his nose, "The giant one gave me a bag not long after they moved us up here." _Ah- that explains the face_ \- Adrian hated drinking if it wasn't fresh from the fountain. "Their mistake though," he smirked, and I tilted my head asking what he meant, "I got through to Mikey. I tried reaching Dimitri, and the others, but _no one_ seemed to be asleep."

I looked back at the door, worried he might hear, "Were you able to tell him where we are."

"Not the first time, but when I got him the second time, he said Zmey was already on his way here with a fleet of Guardians."

"Zmey?"

"Your Dad," he smiled, "that's what most people call him, Zmey, _the snake._ "

"Do I even want to know why?"

"Not right now," he chuckled lightly, shaking his head, "I am sure he will tell you later, maybe."

"Is...is Dimitri with him?" I didn't want to ask, but I _had_ too.

"I didn't get that far. I'm sorry, Rose."

"It's okay," I lifted myself slightly, resting on my elbow to look at him, "you did good, Adrian, I'm proud of you." His smile lit up the room, _a little praise goes a long way for him_ , "I have to go, but we will be out of here soon."

I gave him a quick kiss on his cheek and headed back to my room. Ryder had been gracious enough to let me see him and I didn't want to push my luck. Knowing that my Dad - _that's weird to say-_ was on his way here, my hope skyrocketed through the roof, flying high above the clouds. I hoped Dimitri would be with him, but at the same time, I prayed he wasn't.

Seeing him again, especially in this house, will do nothing but make me want to run back into his arms and never leave them again. But maybe I need to go back if for nothing else, to check on Lissa. With the bond breaking, I don't know how she is handling that, what effect it had on her. I need to make sure she is going to be okay without it, without me.

Opening the door to my room, I whispered another 'thank you' to Ryder, and shut myself inside. Soon. Soon they would be here, I would be out of this house, and I would need to have a talk with not only Lissa but Queen Tatiana too. Lissa could heal Eddie, should that be the route he decides, and Tatiana needs to know about Robert's ideas. Not just the fact that he wants her gone, but that he actually has a valid idea behind protecting us from the Strigoi. But only after they arrest him and lock him up right next to his half brother in prison for kidnapping a Royal heir to the throne.

Laying down on the pillowtop mattress, I allowed myself to think about the second dream. Dimitri and I, married, living in a little cabin in the mountains, _it would be heaven_. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to hold on to that dream -hold on to him, and the possibility of a future, a family and life, with him by my side.

I don't want to let go anymore.

If we make it out of here, all of us, Eddie included, I would figure out a way to make it work. I have no idea how just yet, but I have time to figure that out, _or at least I hope I do_ , so for now, I will close my eyes and remember the taste of his lips, the smile on his face when I told him I would never regret being with him, and the feel of his body pressed against mine.

Perfect.

Happy.

Content.

Loved.

Forever.

 _Bang!_


	24. Chapter Twenty Three

_**Chapter Twenty Three**_

 _ **Dimitri**_

A bright flash.

An ear-shattering bang.

The bite of a bullet.

The smell of burning flesh.

The taste of blood.

I am on sensory overload.

It happened so fast.

The door opened, and before I could blink I stared down the barrel of a Glock 45.

I could faintly hear Pavel and Abe's voices in the background. The sound of flesh against flesh as one, _or several_ , fights ensued in the living room, accompanied by groans and grunts as they fell one by one.

But they didn't matter.

Only she did.

Blackness filled my vision.

Death pulling me under.

And I was ready to let it.

Surely death would be easier than living in a world where she didn't exist. I could handle living knowing she was alive and happy. She was still here, safe and living the life _she_ wanted. But finding out that these people took her from me, pulled the rug beneath my feet and left me breathless on my back.

In all honesty, this moment is simply a formality. My life ended three hours ago, even if my heart continued to beat. The moment my phone rang, her tender voice filtering through the speaker confirming my greatest fear, my life was over.

* * *

After meeting, _pummeling,_ Michael, we headed straight for Spokane. Abe wanted to fly, but the wait time was far too long to sit around. We needed to move. Now. So, renting another car, _one with much more horsepower than a passenger van,_ we headed east. The drive would take roughly four hours, leaving us with time to devise a plan but not waste any sitting around waiting for take-off clearance.

I remember the house as if I walked the floorplan just yesterday, it's hard to forget. After I had pulled Rose from where she held Mason's lifeless body and took her to the waiting vehicle, I went back in to see exactly what she had done.

The scene was a bloody mess, _literally,_ but it didn't turn my stomach the way the Badica house had, or the way Rose's hotel room did. I felt pride. Pride in the woman I love who had made her first kill. Pride in the way she handled her situation. Pride in the way she came back from it.

She watched her friend die, and still managed to fight and win. She locked away her pain until she was safe to let her sorrow spill out. She did exactly what she was trained to do, and I couldn't have been prouder of her than at that moment. Well, that is until the attack.

We have been on the road just over an hour now, and my anxiety is on the verge of boiling over. I have never been one to be anxious, not until Ivan had been killed. Before that, I was always in control of my thoughts and emotions. I didn't fear walking into a potentially dangerous situation or to lose the people I care about in battle -there simply wasn't many of them.

Outside of my family, _who I never really had to fret about,_ the only person I ever worried about was my charge, my best friend, _my brother._ Ivan _._

He was my life-line, and he was taken away from me, and there was nothing I could do to save him. He forced me to take some time off, to go home and visit Mama and the girls. I went, begrudgingly, and when I returned a week later, I found him. The memory of that day will stick with me forever, no matter how hard I try to forget -the blood, flesh wounds, and that look in his eyes as he stared at the ceiling- I can't seem to get those images to fade.

After Ivan passed, I cut myself off from everyone, my family bearing the worst of it. I didn't see the point in growing close to anyone else, only to have them leave me as he did. I often think back on our time together and wonder if he would be happy with who I became because of him.

Would he be proud of the achievements I have made in the wake of his death? - Taking my Blood Master's test, and rising to the top of the ranks at such a young age.

Would he be happy that I found Rose? -My entire reason to keep breathing when I felt the world was completely against me.

Would he smile knowing that his death sparked my life? -Opening myself up and letting more people into my world, my heart.

Or would he feel betrayed? Replaced?

I bet on the former, simply because Ivan was never the one to hold a grudge, at least not with me. He wouldn't want me to wallow in his memory, but to use it to push myself harder, and become the person he knew I could be.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, breaking me free of my inner monologue. Pulling it from my duster, I checked the caller ID,

"Petrov," I answered quickly, "has she woken?"

I have been waiting on this call since we boarded the plane to Seattle. Lissa had been sedated after her episode in class, but I knew the moment she woke she would be able to tell us what happened. More importantly, if the bond between her and Rose had been opened.

 _Or broken._

I didn't want to admit, to myself let alone anyone else, that I am almost positive that it has, in fact, broken. The reaction from Lissa seemed far to extream to be anything less than having a part of you cut from your soul. But until I _knew_ otherwise, there is still hope.

"Guardian Belikov," Lissa's frail voice carried over the airwaves. I could hear the tears scratching at her throat.

 _God. No. Please, don't say it, please._

"Princess," I whispered back, "are you okay?" _Do you remember anything?_ _Do you know where Rose is? Do you know what happened to her?_ I wanted to ask her everything but knew I shouldn't bombard her with questions so quickly.

"It's gone."

There is a saying about _hope,_ it can be paralyzing. It can destroy you, piece by piece, little by little until there is nothing left of you but a simple shell. Yet, knowing that I am setting myself up for further damnation, I have to confirm. I have to make sure that there is not a shred of a doubt.

"Are you certain? Can you remember anything that happened?" my voice came out harder than I intended.

"It...it's...too much," she choked out, "too many memories." _What does she mean too many memories?_

I shook my head, though she couldn't see me, "I don't understand, please, can you try to explain?"

I heard her crying, uncontrollably so, before it faded, a door opened and closed, "Belikov."

"Christian? What's going on?"

He heaved a heavy sigh, "She woke about an hour ago, rambling about how she saw into Rose's mind." _So the bond did open._ "She described it as if she watched a movie of Rose's life since they came back to the Academy. It was too much for her to handle." He paused, I could hear him hiccup as if he was fighting off his own sobs, "When she woke up… the bond was no longer intact. She never realized how she really could feel Rose's connection to her until it wasn't there anymore."

 _Heart, meet blender. Blender, my heart and fucking soul._

I am surprised my phone didn't break under the force of my grip, though it didn't compare to the pressure crushing my chest.

That life-sustaining muscle in the center beat, but I couldn't feel it.

Air moved in and out of my lungs, yet, I couldn't breathe.

Warm blood flowed through my veins, but I felt cold as ice.

My eyes were open, but I couldn't see beyond the cloud of tears on the verge of free falling.

Lissa's words, _'it's gone'_ , translates to ' _she's gone'._

And if she is gone… I might as well be too.

"Dimitri," Christian whispered, "I'm sorry."

My only response was a nod, that he couldn't see, as the phone slipped through my fingers, landing on the floorboard. I felt the weight of his information fall on my shoulders, crushing me into dust.

We were close, so close, and now… she's just gone. I couldn't believe it, I didn't want to believe it, but somewhere in the back of my mind, a small voice says I knew it all along. I _felt_ the moment her heart stopped beating standing in the back of that classroom, sickness rolling through my stomach and my own heart beating out of time. It was as if from hundreds of miles away, my soul was still connected to her, and her pain became mine.

Staring out the windshield, I replayed every moment with her in my mind.

Every sparring session.

Every lap around the track.

Every _Zen_ lesson.

Every innocent touch - _and the not so innocent ones too._

The way she always tried to mimic my one eyebrow trick. Or the way her lips curved up into her signature smile that brought me to my knees on more than one occasion. And though I constantly gave her the side eye for it, the way she called me 'Comrade'.

I remembered it all.

Every.

Single.

Detail.

Starting in Portland and ending with watching her walk away.

My fist connected with the dashboard, the physical pain contrasting the emotional - _though not nearly enough._ A deep growl, or scream, I'm not even sure at this point, erupted from my throat, sounding like nails on a chalkboard.

A hand on my shoulder drew my eyes to the backseat where Abe had shifted into the middle. His eyes, _her eyes_ , bore into mine, telling me to calm down, even though he held the same expression as me. Shock. Anger. Disbelief. _Pain._

The sight of the strongest man I know, the one who saved me and my family all those years ago, completely destroyed, should have broken me further. It should have brought more tears to my eyes, another shot to my heart, but it didn't. Instead, it fueled something inside of me. Something I have feared since I was a child.

 _My inner wolf -_ the side of my father in me who aims to kill.

Abe's eyes held mine, a silent agreement hanging in the air. Just this once, we were going to let our inner demons out to play. And not even God can help the people on the receiving end.

The next two hours passed slower than molasses in the winter, in Siberia, at night. _In case it's still not clear, it took forever._ My mind no longer wondered what could be happening to her, worried she was hurt, or worse. I knew the answer to that now - _worse, way worse._ So I thought over exactly what I would do to the people responsible. How I could inflict them with as much pain as I am feeling right now. Granted, nothing I could do to them would be enough to compensate for my own torture, but it would be close. And close would have to do.

Taking a left off the main road, we headed into the moderately priced suburb and turned onto the cul-de-sac street. _Third house on the right._ From the outside, you would never guess that such horrendous things have occurred behind those closed doors - _with the worst having yet to come._

Parking a few houses down, Pavel pulled out a pair of binoculars to take a closer look. It is just shy of high noon, so I hoped no one saw us and reported it to the authorities, seeing how we are anything but incognito in a dark-windowed rental. Thankfully, Henderson had called Abe just over a half hour ago, they were finally cleared for takeoff and should be arriving in about an hour. Sydney will be with them and she can handle any run in's with local law enforcement should we need it.

We had originally planned for Pavel and I, with Abe in the wings to use his element if needed, to breach the house as soon as we arrived. But that was before my phone rang, and plans changed. I was no longer in a rush to get to her, she wouldn't be waiting. So we decided to wait, and go about this the proper way.

"All of the windows are covered, I can't see anything," Pavel groaned, setting the binoculars on the dash.

We sat in silence, waiting on the call from the others to let us know they had landed before we made any moves to breach the house. Even if Rose wasn't there, _which I secretly hoped she wouldn't be, not wanting to repeat finding Ivan_ , there is still a good chance Adrian is.

That thought brought a whole nother level of pain into my chest. He survived, but she didn't. How is that even fair? Or did they kill him too after he contacted Michael? Either way, we would have all of our answers soon enough.

"Belikov," Pavel tapped my arm, drawing my attention back to the house.

The garage door lifted, a small four-door car pulling out of the drive, heading our way. We made no move to conceal ourselves, that would only look more suspicious. An older man sat in the passenger seat, a Moroi, and a younger Guardian behind the wheel.

 _Odd._ Why would there be Guardians and Moroi in a Strigoi nest?

Maybe our assumptions of this being a team of Strigoi and humans was wrong. Maybe it is far more complex than we anticipated.

Or we are wrong altogether.

They aren't here, they were never here, and I led us to the wrong place.

Abe's phone rang at the same time Pavel sat forward in his seat, "Did you see that?"

"See what?" I asked.

Grabbing his binoculars again, he looked toward the back right side of the house, "There," he whispered, "someone is in that room on the second floor." He strained to see, though he couldn't have gotten any closer than he already was.

Taking the binoculars from him, I took a look for myself. At first, I didn't see any signs of movement, but just before I pulled them away, I saw him. Adrian. Standing in the window, looking out right toward us. Whether he could see our car, or inside to us, I do not know, but I could see him. That is all that mattered.

We are in the right place. He is alive. And I need to get him out.

"That was Kaplan, they will be here in less than five," Abe spoke, breaking my eyes away from the window. "Are you ready?"

"Are you?" I didn't mean for it to sound the way it did, but the look on Abe's face said he understood what I was aiming for.

Neither of us or Pavel was necessarily ready to face our greatest fear, however, we are ready to face the people who caused it.

Henderson pulled onto the street in a sleek black Suburban three minutes later and we went over our plans. He, along with Pavel, Abe and I, would enter through the front. While Kaplan, Hensen, and Vincent took the back door. The other two - _who I still don't know the names of, Abe has too many Guardians-_ would remain in the vehicle with Sydney.

I would be the first through the door. They believe that its because I am the biggest and should enter first, but I saw it as one last ditch effort to protect Rose. Making sure that I took the front line of fire to give her father and Uncle a chance to react.

The seven of us headed up on foot, moving much like a SWAT team serving a search warrant. Our steps were silent, even though the high sun blew our cover, we didn't want to give them too much warning by making excessive noise.

The front windows were covered with thick curtains, meaning that they couldn't see out, and we couldn't see in.

I climbed the two steps.

 _Deep breath._

And slammed my size thirteen combat boot into the door, breaking it from its hold.

My heart slammed against my ribcage as my foot hit the ground, propelling me forward into the entryway. Rage burned through my body, complete hatred for the person standing in front of me, though I have no idea who he is, he became my target.

And I his.

I hadn't even had a chance to look at him, to see who was responsible for everything I have been through in the last 24 hours, because the only thing I could see was the pistol raised and aimed for my chest. _He was waiting for us._

Time stopped.

The air grew thick.

And his finger compressed the trigger.

Now, I have never been shot before, it was not common in our line of work, but it felt much like I would imagine. At first, it was a simple sting. You know, that little bite you feel before you realize that you have been hurt, more than a pinch but less than a stab. And then you look down and see how wounded you actually are and the pain intensifies by a million. _Mind over matter kind of thing._

I could feel my eyes pushing forward in their sockets, truly shocked that out of all the ways I could have been taken out, it was by a gun. Raising one hand, I brought two fingers to my stomach, pulling them away to see the layer of blood coating the tips. Lifting my head, I looked back to the shooter, just in time for him to fire another round.

That one hit the mark, right in the center of my chest, sending me to my back. I caught a glimpse of Vincent coming through the back door before my eyes trained on the ceiling just inside the house.

I could feel the fire spread, blood filling my lungs making breathing impossible. And all I wanted to do is let go.

I didn't want to fight it. I didn't want to contemplate my life, the things I have done, any regrets that I may have. I didn't want to feel anything other than her. Her love calling out to me in a siren song. Her arms ready and waiting for me on the other side. Her lips pulled upward into that heartbreaking smile, just before I crushed my lips to hers, claiming them as mine.

Choking on my own blood, I closed my eyes, and let go of everything.

Abe.

Pavel.

My mother.

My sisters.

Myself.

My life.

And held onto Rose and our love.

 _Huh, I guess you can hold on and let go._

"Comrade!"

The voice of my angel called out to me, and I couldn't help but smile as her face formed in my mind at the thought of her waiting for me.

' _I'm coming, Roza.'_


	25. Chapter Twenty Four

_**I'm not a total witch...but you know.. with a B. haha.**_

* * *

 _ **Chapter Twenty Four**_

 _ **Rose**_

 _Was that a gunshot?_

I sat straight up in the bed.

 _Bang!_

Definitely a gunshot.

And it's coming from inside the house.

 _Adrian!_

The race between my heart and my legs was sadly no competition, my heart was winning my a thousand miles. I couldn't move fast enough, not what I deemed to be at least.

When I pulled the door open, I was surprised to see the man in question standing just outside in the hall. Ryder, however, was nowhere to be found.

"Rose, what was that?"

I looked down the hall, unable to see the living room from where we stood, but I could hear the sound of fighting. Several voices, all male, floated up the stairs. Grunts and groans sounded off in rhyme with the sound of flesh against flesh.

"I don't know, but get back in your room, you will be safe there."

"Don't think so, Little Dhampir," he rose his brow, "you really think I am going to let you go down there alone?"

"And what are you going to do, Adrian?" I growled, regretting it as soon as the words slid past my lips, "I need you safe, down there, your a distraction. Please."

"Okay," he whispered, stepping back.

I mentally slapped myself as I watched him retreat back into his room. I shouldn't let the look on his face get to me, especially not right now, but I hate hurting him. I know he feels like shit that he couldn't save me back at the hotel. I know he doesn't want to be seen as a liability, or a distraction, but this is not the time to test the waters.

The moment his door closed, I rushed forward and down the stairs.

 _What in the hell?_

Five men I didn't know were ganging up on Ryder and Brayden. The latter I wasn't too worried about, they could kill him for all I care, but Ryder, I didn't want to see him hurt. He may have been involved with following me, the kidnapping and holding us here, but I could see that he didn't agree with it. He had a pure heart, one gained from a year of torture, and I knew he was a better person than the others.

I prepared to join the fray with Ryder, but when I took my next step forward, I caught sight of another man by the front door. More importantly, the person laying deathly still in the entryway.

 _Wearing a damn duster._

"Comrade," my own voice sounded foreign to my ears, somewhere between a sob and a scream, it halted the movements of everyone in the room.

I propelled myself forward, forgetting about the other five unknown people, Brayden and Ryder, and focused in on my heart laying on the ground. The guardian in me told me it was the wrong choice. I could almost hear Dimitri in the back of my mind yelling at me for letting my emotions get the best of me, for turning my back to the enemy.

But my heart told me, if he is here, then these people are with my father, so I am safe.

Falling to my knees opposite of the other person, I took Dimitri's face in my hands, looking over his chest to see blood soaking through the fabric of his shirt. Quickly.

"Comrade," I gurgled as tears fell freely down my face, "Comrade, wake up."

"Rosemarie."

"Rose."

My name was said by two different people.

The first, from the man in front of me. My father. It wasn't hard to come to that conclusion. Looking at him was like looking in a mirror. The same dark eyes, almond skin tone, brown almost black hair, everything down to the shape of our noses were identical.

The second, from my best friend behind me.

Tearing my eyes from the mirror image across from me, I looked back to see Adrian's wide eyes looking at Dimitri.

"Let me, Rose," he stepped forward, his hands already outstretched toward Dimitri.

"You can't…" sobbing, my head fell forward to rest against Dimitri's forehead. My fingers ran through his hair on their own accord, my lips were drawn to his -no matter that his blood spilled from them.

If Adrian had been hurt by my doubt in him, he didn't show it. I could feel him lower to the ground beside me, see his hands reaching out and laying over Dimitri's chest.

"Com..rade… I love you…I'm sorry," I cried over and over, tuning out the world around me.

The fighting in the background had faded. Adrian's voice beside me sounded a million miles away. Nothing and no one else mattered at this moment. Only him.

It was Mason all over again.

What is it with this house and killing the men I love? Adrian better run before he's next.

A set of familiar arms wrapped around me, pulling me away from my heart and soul laying on the hardwood floor. I wanted to fight, but my body held no strength to do so. I was numb on every level. I couldn't think, speak, or move, I could only watch.

Watch Adrian hover over Dimitri.

Watch my father bark orders, _that I couldn't hear over the cracking of my heart._

Watch the other unknown people haul Brayden out of the house through the back door.

Watch Dimitri's chest rise and fall.

 _Wait, what?_

I blinked rapidly, my eyes playing tricks on my heart. _Did I see what I think I did?_

I didn't have to question it long, because, after another second, Dimitri coughed up his right lung, the left not far behind. Adrian fell to his side, his head hitting the floor with a loud _thunk_.

"Dimitri!" I yelled loud enough to shatter the windows, breaking free of Ryder's hold.

I crossed the living room in point five seconds, kneeling on the ground next to Dimitri's head. His eyes met mine, disbelief rolling like ocean waves against the shore. He opened his mouth to speak, but I shook my head, telling him to not even try right now. Brushing his hair from his handsome face, I smiled at him, unable to speak myself.

"Ugh," Adrian groaned from beside me, rolling over to his back. "Is he alive?"

"Yes," my answer came out in a watery laugh, "thank you, Adrian."

"So much for _I can't_ ," he chuckled, "but damn that took a lot out of me."

Reaching over, I ran my fingers through his short hair, before meeting my father's eyes, "Do you have any blood bags?"

"I'm good, Little.."

"No, you're not," I cut him off, "I _know_ exactly what it took to do that," pausing, I looked back to Ibrahim, "do you?"

"No," he shook his head softly, "not here at least, I have some on my plane."

 _He owns his own plane? Who the hell is this guy?_

Pulling the sleeve of my shirt to my elbow, I held my wrist in front of Adrian's face, "Drink."

"Not happening," he growled.

"I'm not arguing, drink."

"Roza," Dimitri's hoarse voice rolled through my ears, the sweetest sound I have ever heard.

"Relax, Comrade, you need to save what little energy you have. You're in for one hell of a ride."

It took a moment for both of my men to comprehend what I was insinuating, but the moment it took, they both let out a deep groan. I couldn't help but chuckle to myself.

 _Oh- this is going to be fun._

"Adrian, drink, you need it. I will be okay."

When he didn't make a move, I pulled on the roots of his hair, pushing my wrist against his lips. Finally, he opened his mouth and I felt his teeth break through my skin. My head fell back, a soft moan sneaking past my lips as the endorphins spread.

Since he wasn't pulling from a major artery, they didn't flow as fast, or as much as when Lissa would feed on my neck, but the buzz was still there. There was nothing sexual about it, but when Adrian pulled away, _far too soon for my liking,_ and I came back to myself, I saw the look of fury cross Dimitri's face.

I wanted to yell at him, or at least tell him to chill, but I didn't want to kill the high I was currently riding on. I hated to admit that when we returned to the Academy I found myself missing it, but sadly it is the truth. I doubt there is a drug in this world that could compare to the bite of a Moroi or worse a Strigoi.

"Fuck," I groaned, "Eddie!"

"He's here?" Dimitri whispered, exhaustion of today's events weighing on him.

"Yes, and there is a lot to discuss, but you need rest," leaning forward, I placed a kiss to his forehead, before meeting my father's eyes, "Can you get them to a hotel, they both need to sleep off the effects."

"Kaplan, call the others to help you get them to the car."

The young Guardian nodded, moving around us to fetch the others. _How many Guardians did he bring? And are they all his?_

I watched him intently, studying the look in his eyes, the set to his brow as he cataloged me the same way. As if he couldn't believe I was sitting in front of him -like I was a ghost who would vanish if he blinked.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, finally breaking his eyes from mine. "I just… I can't believe your here."

"What do you mean? Did you think I would be somewhere else?"

"Vasilisa told us the bond had broken, we…"

"Thought I was dead." I stated for him, "how is she, is she okay?"

"She will be," Dimitri mumbled. He drew two deep breaths before opening his eyes to look at me, "I've missed you."

 _Be still my beating heart,_ "I missed you too, Comrade, so much." Running my fingers through his hair, I relished in the way the silk strands smoothed under my touch. "I love you, Dimitri."

The corner of his mouth lifted upward, his lips moving as if he was trying to say something back, but I couldn't hear the words. I didn't need too. I knew what he was trying to say, reading the look in his eyes as I always have.

The sound of people approaching drew my attention to the front lawn, where four Guardians and the Alchemist from Mikey's were walking up the pathway. If at all possible, she seemed even shier than the last time I had talked to her, clinging to the thin neckless that hung around her neck.

I stood to move out of the way, walking over to Ryder, who had sat in one of the single recliners. Two guardians each helped Adrian and Dimitri to their feet, escorting them to a waiting car out front. While Ibrahim and another older guardian flanked Ryder's back, looking at him like they were ready to hang him from the tallest tree by his toes.

"Where is Robert?" I asked, ignoring the other two.

"I don't know, he left while we were downstairs."

He wouldn't meet my eyes, instead, his gaze remained locked on the floor in front of him, hands folded between his spread knees, where his elbows rested. His shoulders rested under his ears with the way he hunched down, his back stiff, tension rolling off of him in palpable waves.

"Ry," I whispered, putting my hand under his chin, I forced his head back, "thank you."

"Why are you thanking him?" Dad growled.

I continued to ignore him, keeping my focus on Ryder's sky blue eyes, "Go," I jutted my forehead toward the door.

"I have nowhere to go, Youngin," his voice below a whisper, his heart in his eyes, "my debt is to him, I can't leave even if I wanted to."

"The only debt you carry now is to yourself. Let go of your past, let go of the memories, let go of everything he has said to you, and go and live the life you were given. Start fresh. Go back home, or somewhere new, but get as far away from here, from him, as you can."

He nodded, standing to full height he towered over me, "Thank you, Rose."

Stepping forward, I wrapped my arms around his waist, squeezing tightly as his arms fell around my shoulders, hugging me back with just as much force.

"Thank you, Ryder. Take care of yourself, and I hope to see you again sometime."

"You too, Youngin."

With one final squeeze, I stepped back and let him walk right out the front door, watching his form disappear out of sight. I hope he will find peace somewhere, with someone or simply by himself. He has a heart of gold, and I really wish the best for him. He may have done many horrible things, even after his time as a Strigoi, but I can tell that isn't who he truly is.

Drawing a deep breath, I turned back around and headed toward the basement.

"Rosemarie," my father's voice sent a shiver down my spine.

Spinning on my heel, "It's Rose, not Rosemarie, you would know that had you been around the last fourteen years," I snapped. "Now, if you will excuse me, I have a friend tied up in the basement that I need to figure out how I am going to get him out of here without him dying."

I didn't stay to watch them pick their jaws up from the floor, neither had expected that response I take it.

Now that the dust was beginning to settle on the bomb of him being here, of Dimitri almost dying, and Adrian's saving him, I was angry. Angry at the man who abandoned me, put the love of my life in danger, and now wanted to act like a father and act out on the one person who wasn't an evil participant in this whole ordeal. I would get over it, in time, we would talk and settle the issues between us. But that would have to wait. Eddie needs me right now.

Descending the stairs, much faster this time than the last, I turned the knob on Eddie's door, finding it locked. Damn it, I forgot to ask Ryder for the key. Quickly, I ran back upstairs to see if there was a spare laying around, which lucky for me, Brayden's were sitting on the table next to the chair he had been resting in earlier.

Making quick work of the lock, I swung the door open and flipped the light switch. Eddie's chin was tucked into his chest, his pale skin looked too pale, even for an undead monster. _Had he been like this earlier? Did I just not notice how sick he looked?_

"Eddie." I stepped closer, hesitantly, "Eddie, are you okay?"

"Hey, Rosie," his voice was low and raspy. "What was going on up there?"

"More than I can explain right now," I sighed, "how are you feeling?"

"Hungry. Tired."

"I'll see if I can find a blood bag upstairs, Robert has to have some somewhere," I looked behind me, making sure the others hadn't come down with me, "I know I said you had time to think about it but plans kinda changed. So, we have to decide what to do now."

"You mean I have to decide because I know what you want," he chuckled.

"Well, yeah," I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth, anxious to hear his choice.

"I want to go home."

"Where's home?" I requested clarification.

"Where ever you are, and Adrian, Lissa, Christian, and even the Russian Jailer, where ever my family is."

My face hurt from the smile that split it in half. His eyes rose to mine, red rings drowning out the beautiful hazel, but I saw warmth in them that I never would have expected in a Strigoi. I saw hope.

"Alright," I nodded, blinking back the tears that welled quickly, "I will see if I can get Lissa out here. It's daytime right now, so you are going to have to stay here, for now, okay?"

"It's fine, Rosie, the room is kind of growing on me."

"I'll be back, love you, Eddie." I chuckled and headed back upstairs.

Reaching the living room, I crossed my arms over my chest and fixed my father and his Guardian with, _what I am assuming is a stare I got from him,_ and made an offer I hoped he wouldn't refuse. "You want to start making it up to me? Get Lissa here, as soon as possible, and I will listen to everything you have to say."

"Is that all?" he lifted his brow, a smirk pulling at his lips.

"No, but it's a start."

* * *

Abe, who insisted I call him that or Dad, and I wasn't ready to call him that out loud just yet, took me back to the hotel to clean up and check on the guys. We left two of his Guardians at the house with Eddie, who even if he wasn't restrained and calmed by the Spirit rings, wouldn't be going anywhere. We held off on giving him any blood, just in case the rings began to fail, he wouldn't have the strength to do anything. I'm not going to lie, depriving him of 'food', I felt like an ass. But it's for his own good, _or at least that's what I keep telling myself._

Once I showered, changed clothes into the ones Sydney had managed to snag from our hotel room in Seattle, and a super-sized burger, french fries and chocolate shake, I was ready to pass out. But I knew it was going to be a while before I could give in to the desire to sleep. Abe had questions. I had questions. And Dimitri and Adrian are freaking the hell out. And if I am being honest, so am I.

It bothered me being in Lissa's mind, and she is like my sister. How on earth are these two going to get along with a bond, when they hate each other? I tried to remain optimistic, seeing how they had been getting along well enough to keep in contact over the last few weeks. But it's a whole nother world being trapped in someone else's head.

Stomach full, Lissa enroute -with Christian and Alberta-, and Dimitri and Adrian awake from their power naps, we all settled into the couches of Abe's suite. Dimitri and I made a home on the love seat, I didn't want to be more than a foot away from him right now. Adrian sat in the armchair to our right, and Abe in the one on the left. Pavel, who turns out is like my Uncle, stood beside Abe.

And the elephant sat right in the middle.

"Okay, I guess I'll start," I shifted in my seat, tucking my legs underneath me, "how did you get involved?"

"Alberta called me, I came as soon as she told me you had run away."

"Why now?" I snapped, he never seemed interested before, so to me, it's a valid question.

"I was already planning on coming in for your trials and graduation. When we have more time, alone, I will explain why I couldn't be around. But make no mistake, Rose, I wanted to be."

I watched his expression, not detecting a single hint that what he said was a lie. You would think that would make me happy, knowing he wanted to be around, and that he is here now, but there is this worry in the back of my mind.

"Are you going to leave again?" I whispered, acknowledging my fear.

"For work, yes, but I am not walking out of your life again. I want to be here for you from now on." Again, no hint of a lie, good. "Now let me ask you, where do you plan on going from here? You found your friend, what's next?"

"I'm glad you asked," I smiled wide, and Dimitri groaned beside me, "What?"

"I know that smile, it means trouble," he smirked.

"No, it means change."

* * *

Author's Note:

OMFG, Y'ALL!

I convinced MYSELF that Dimitri was dead, I legit cried and felt sick! And I feel really bad if any of y'all felt that way too. Really, I do.

Now, are we all happy and go-lucky with the way things turned out? I sure hope so, because... **there is only one chapter left.**

This was actually supposed to be the last, but I went back and made some tweaks and lengthened it just a little more.

More news will come out Sunday Evening when that update goes up!

 ** _On another note: Tomorrow, Feb 22, marks ONE year since I first published 'Run Home, Comrade'. Can you believe it's been a whole year? I sure can't._**

 ** _So, in honor of that, I will have an AMA post on Facebook Friday and will start replying to questions around 7 PM CST. So if you are not following and want to join in on that, swing on over and show my page some love. The link is in my Bio._**

I hope to hear from you all on Friday!

All My Love,

Dream


	26. Chapter Twenty Five

_**Chapter Twenty Five**_

 _ **Rose**_

"Roza," Dimitri's voice halted my pacing. "You're wearing a hole in the floor," his tender eyes held mine, compassion rich in his voice, "come here, Milaya."

Stepping into his open arms, I wrapped mine around his waist and rested my head on his chest, letting the steady sound of his heartbeat float through my ears.

"Why are you nervous," he mumbled into my hair.

"I don't know," I sighed into him, relaxing further into his hold, "I don't know what to think about the bond being broken, or what she saw just before, or how to get along now that it's gone."

"The bond wasn't the cause of your friendship, Rose. You both have been each others family for years, nothing has or will change that."

"I know, it's just, I got used to it, you know. Well, maybe you don't yet, but you will," I chuckled, "I no longer have that link to her, it's weird."

I hated to admit that I wasn't sure how Lissa was going to react, _seeing how I can't feel her anymore_ , about the bond being broken. On the one hand, I am happy that I no longer have to carry her burdens, on the other, I fear how she will handle it on her own. I don't want her to turn to alcohol like Adrian does, using any means necessary to wear off the side effects of the element. And that's another thing, I am free of the darkness, but now Dimitri is subject to it. He already carries his own shadows, from Ivan's death, and his past, I wonder how he will deal with the darkness.

My mind is a cluster fuck of worry right now. Between Lissa, Eddie, Dimitri, and Adrian, I didn't know which way was which. Not even the Northstar can guide me home from here.

"You will adjust," he leaned back slightly, bringing his hands to cup my cheeks, "everything is going to be okay, I promise."

I nodded softly, only because there is simply no other response to give. I wanted to agree with him, but the seed of doubt in the back of my mind has been planted, and it's springtime.

Dimitri brought his lips to my forehead, then my nose, and finally my lips. It was as if each kiss sealed an unspoken promise from him. _We will get through this. I am here for you. I love you._ That last one sending shockwaves through my heart, and my core. I have missed him, everything about him, and I am on the verge of combusting if we don't get some time, preferably hours, alone soon. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pulled myself closer to him, his hands falling to my hips, keeping me there.

"Roza," my name rolling off his tongue in a deep growl when I nipped at his bottom lip.

"Dimitri," I whispered back in a low seductive tone, smiling as I pressed my lips back to his. I could feel his length pressed against my stomach, his thumbs smoothing over my hips, caressing a small area of skin just above my jeans.

For a moment, I forgot we were standing in the middle of the airport because that's what he does to me. It's one of the reasons I walked away in the first place. Being with Dimitri is an all or nothing thing. When I am with him, it's as if time doesn't exist, the outside world is a dream, and nothing can ever touch me inside our little bubble. It's amazing. And dangerous.

My biggest fear when it comes to our relationship is having to choose. Him or her. My head or my heart. Love or loyalty. Logic told me, that it would be a rare event that I would ever be placed in a situation where it truly came down to one or the other, but reality told me, it only takes a single shot to make your heart stop beating. We could go one, two, ten, or twenty years without ever being put in that position, and then one day, it happens. And I don't know that I will ever be able to decide who matters more.

"Eh-hmm." The clearing of a throat pulled me from my safe bubble, reminding me just where we were, and why. "I don't think I will ever be used to _that._ "

Reluctantly, I loosened my hold on Dimitri, holding his eyes silently telling him to settle himself before I turned around.

"You better learn, Fire-Crotch," I mumbled, turning around to face Christian, Alberta, and Lissa -the latter looking at me with wide eyes.

Even though she knew about Dimitri and me, she had never seen us together like this. I really wish I could tell what she was feeling right now, because other than shock, I am at a loss for why she is looking at me like this.

"You didn't feel me at all, did you? It really is gone."

I stepped forward, grabbing her hands in mine, "I'm sorry, Liss," I whispered, "I know you must have been so scared, but everything is going to be alright," I repeated Dimitri's encouragement, hoping I would start believing it myself.

"How did it happen? And how are you alive?"

"I will tell you everything, later. I need your help with something else, and we don't have much time to really waste."

Putting an arm around her waist, I guided her forward toward our waiting SUV. Dimitri hung back with Alberta, and Christian walked a few paces behind Lissa and me. I could faintly hear Alberta asking Dimitri something, but they conversed in Russian, and if I am being honest, it ground my gears. I always feel like I am being left out or lied to whenever he would respond to someone in his native tongue. But I tried to remind myself that he doesn't get to speak it often, and maybe he just needs a sense of normality, even if it's only in using his native language.

Dimitri took the wheel, while I climbed in the back with Lissa and Chris, Alberta riding shotgun. We didn't bother to go by the hotel first, but instead, called Abe and had him meet us at the house. He and Pavel had stayed behind with Adrian to discuss the Spirit aspect of everything that had happened. The reason why we were taken in the first place, and how we came to learn about restoring Eddie.

None of the men were quick to accept such an outrageous idea, but after I told them Ryder's story and everything I had learned from Robert, they agreed it was worth a try. The worst that could happen is we kill Eddie, and figure out that everything we were told was a lie. _Secretly: I feared that more than anything._

I really hope that we are able to save him, bring him home, and make up for the time we have all lost with him. But if we can't, at least he will no longer have to suffer the fate that was forced on him.

We arrived at the house just behind the others, Dimitri had barely shifted into park when Christian realized exactly where we were.

"What the fuck, Rose! Why are we here?"

"I will explain," opening my door, I jumped out, holding my hand out for Lissa, "come on, we can talk inside."

Adrian sat in one of the recliners, a half-empty glass of something dark in one hand, "Little Dhampir," he grinned, "where's my other half?"

" _My_ other half is outside, he will be in in a minute," I rolled my eyes, and took the loveseat with Liss. "How many?" I nodded toward his glass.

"This makes…" he ticked off his fingers mumbling numbers, "six."

"Adrian!"

"You said it would shut it off," he shrugged. "Besides, I don't even feel it yet."

I told him earlier that alcohol will numb the bond, Lissa has proven that more than once in the past, but I am not happy with Adrian running back to his vices so quickly. Not only that, Dimitri will feel the hangover effects of his indulgence.

"I know, but did you not hear me when I told you what you drink he will feel?"

"So no sex for you tonight," he shrugged again.

"Adrian!"

"Wait, what?" Lissa's shocked voice sounded off at the same time I yelled at him. Her eyes flipped between the open door to the front yard and Adrian, "You're bonded to him?"

"Stop saying my name like that," he growled, completely ignoring Liss, "you sound like my mother."

"What is up with you?"

Before he could answer, Dimitri came through the front door, his eyes spitting fire in Adrian's direction. Dimitri gripped his shirt, hauling him out the front door. I stood to follow, but Lissa grabbed my arm, confusion was written all over her face. Reluctantly, I sat back down to explain part one of the saga of events. Sadly, that was the easy part.

Lissa and Chris were in disbelief, both for a different reason, that Dimitri is now linked to Adrian. Lissa simply didn't believe Adrian had it in him, and neither did I when it happened. But Christian laughed that of all the people for him to be bonded to, it's my boyfriend. The shitty thing is while Dimitri will have to deal with Adrian's feeling about our relationship, Adrian only has to see it. You can close your eyes, but not your mind. At least not until Dimitri learns to block him out, which we will be working on, soon.

Alberta, Abe, and Pavel finally came inside, Dimitri and Adrian not far behind them, and we settled in for part two. The hard part. Not only do I have to tell Ryder's story, _again,_ but I have to convince them that this is worth the experiment. And then, they have to see Eddie.

I had weeks, to prepare myself for seeing him, and it still stung. Alberta is well aware that he was turned and not simply killed, but Lissa and Christian were never given a definite answer. Not only that but for Moroi it's different. They aren't trained to see and deal with Strigoi the way we are.

But, before we got to that, I needed Lissa to see if she could even charm a stake. Adrian had gotten pretty good at making charms since we had been gone, but his current blood alcohol content has rendered him useless to help her. Not that I minded, he is still feeling the strain from saving Dimitri. And the less he uses his element right now, the better.

"So, I just… will the magic into it?" Lissa gripped the stake with both hands, uncertainty clouding her features.

"Just close your eyes, and concentrate, you can do this, Liss." I encouraged.

Everyone in the room watched her on bated breaths as if it should explode or glow, or something. After a minute, Lissa drew a deep breath, opening her eyes to look at Adrian.

"Can you feel it?" she asked in awe.

"A little, but I am not the best judge at the moment," he mumbled.

"I think it worked," she whispered, turning the stake over in her hand, "I just don't know how well."

"It will have to be enough," I sighed, reaching in my pocket, I pulled the set of keys out, "are you ready?"

"He can't hurt her, can he?" Chris stood quickly, holding his hand out as if to tell Lissa not to move yet.

"He is restrained really well, and we have been depriving him of blood, so he is pretty weak right now."

I lead our group, everyone to include Adrian, down to the basement. We all wanted to know if it was possible and witness it should it be true. Reaching the door, I slid the key in the lock, and turned to the others, "give me just a minute."

Dimitri kissed my head, knowing exactly why I asked for them to wait, and closed the door behind me. Much like the last time, Eddie's chin was tucked to his chest, and he looked like he could already be dead. The translucency of his skin was not encouraging in the slightest. Standing in front of him, I lifted his chin with two fingers, bringing his sunken eyes to mine.

"I thought you weren't coming back," he whispered.

"I wouldn't leave without you," I smiled, "Lissa is here, and we are going to try and restore you…"

"But.." he laughed lightly.

"It might not work, Eddie." A lone tear slipped from my eye, "I want to believe it's possible, but who knows if Robert and Ryder were telling the truth." I paused to draw a deep breath, "so, just in case it doesn't, I want to tell you that I love you. That I am sorry for not being there with you and Lissa when the attack happened. For not being able to get you out of the caves. And for losing Mason, just for everything."

"Rose," his tone was low but stern, "none of this is your fault, and if it doesn't work, that isn't your fault either. I am just glad you found me, either way, I will be happy." I nodded, wiping away the cold tracks on my cheeks, "and I love you too, Rosie, and so did he."

"I know," I managed a soft smile. "Alright, here goes nothing," I mumbled to myself before opening the door to let them in.

Dimitri entered first, Pavel behind him -they would take the chain off of Eddie to expose his chest, but would be standing on either side, just in case. Christian and Lissa came in next, both stopping dead in the doorway as they got their first look at him. Eddie gave them a small smile, trying to keep the fangs hidden, and I pulled them further into the room. Alberta, Abe, and Adrian came in last, moving to stand on the side since they were only here to witness.

"Eddie, this is going to hurt. She doesn't have strength like us, so it's going to take some maneuvering, just …. try to sit still."

Guiding Liss, I showed her how to hold the stake in a way that would allow her to use her body weight to her advantage. Dimitri and Pavel each grabbed one of Eddie's shoulders, holding him back against the chair. Lining the stake up to his heart, the tip touched his skin and he hissed at the contact.

"I can't," Liss pulled back, stumbling into Christian. "I can't just stab him."

"Lissa," Eddie whispered, "It's okay, I promise."

"I'm sorry, Eddie, I…"

"Lissa, please, you are the only one that can do this," he pleaded.

Christian whispered in her ear, before placing a kiss to her temple, she nodded to him, and stepped forward, ready to try again. Repeating the process, she placed the stake over his heart and closed her eyes. Inhaling deeply, she let it out in one quick swoosh and forced the stake forward. Eddie screamed, and I knew she wanted to pull it out, end the stinging pain of the silver and magic, but she pressed forward again. As we noted, it didn't pierce right through, so she had to press three more times as hard as she could before it broke through his sternum and into his heart.

The next three seconds were blinding as the stake penetrated his heart and a brilliant white flash burst from him. Dimitri and Pavel fell back from where they had been standing. Lissa had fallen forward onto Eddie, and Christian stumbled backward toward the door. Alberta, Abe, and Adrian all turned away but remained firm in their spots. As for me, I was paralyzed by the sight in front of me.

Stars danced in my vision, but I couldn't look away. It's like in science class when they told you, _don't look at the magnesium while it's burning,_ and you do it anyway because it's fucking cool to watch. This was just like that. I couldn't look away no matter how badly my eyes protested the exposure to light. And just as quickly as it came, it was gone. It took a good moment for my eyes to adjust enough for me to see.

Eddie's eyes lifted to meet mine, not a trace of red in them, and quickly overflowing with tears. His skin was still paler than normal, but that was to be expected. I don't know how long he has been down here, but he is also malnourished.

"It worked."

The two words were spoken by several people all at once. We were all in a bit of disbelief and extream relief at the same time. Quickly, I with the help of Christian picked Lissa up, and helped her upstairs, before running back down to Eddie.

His binds had been undone, and Dimitri was lifting him from the chair. I stepped in front of them, taking Eddie's face in my hands. I needed a closer look, not because I didn't believe that it worked, or I worried there was still a hint of red in his eyes, but I simply wanted to hold my brother in my arms.

"Welcome back, Eddie, let's go home."

* * *

I starred out the window as we began circled the Academy prior to landing. I had never thought I would come back here, no matter how things ended with Eddie. This part of my life was over, and I had no urge to return to it. But Dimitri convinced me that I should come back with Lissa if for nothing else, to talk things over with her. We hadn't had time alone to talk about what happened at the hotel, and how the bond broke, so it was best to come back here for a little while.

Eddie's restoration would be kept under tight wraps, meaning as soon as we landed, we would shuttle him to the guest housing dorms, where he would stay with Adrian. Until I talked to Queen Tatiana, there was no way in hell we were making this public knowledge.

Alberta gave Dimitri an extra few days off, allowing him and I some much needed reconnecting time. I would still be leaving this life behind, but I really want to soak up as much of him as I can and try to figure out a way for us to be together, even if we live in two separate worlds. Almost losing him showed me that no matter what, he is my forever, and you don't throw that kind of love away.

Abe and Pavel would be sticking around state-side for the foreseeable future, which I gave it a few months max before he headed back home for work. At least we will have some time to get to know each other. Which, the more I watch them, and Alberta, there are many questions I have that require in-depth answers.

"Do you want me to stay with you?" I asked Eddie as we pulled up in front of guest housing.

"No, I'll be fine with Adrian, go and spend some time with Dimitri."

"If you need anything, call me. Okay?"

"I will. Love you, Rosie."

"Love you, too." I hugged him tightly and left him to follow Adrian upstairs.

Dimitri drove over to the Guardian dorms, where I would be staying with him for the time being. Alberta will probably make me go back to my old room after today, but since everyone is asleep right now, I can sneak into Dimitri's room undetected.

He made quick work of unpacking his bag, always the perfectionist. I told him to leave it till morning, but he refused. Stripping down into my underwear, I grabbed one of his shirts from the closet and climbed in his bed. The mattress at the _Four Season's_ was a brick slate compared to this. Soft. Warm. Welcoming. And smells like him. Once finished in the bathroom, he stripped down to his boxers and joined me, pulling me into his chest immediately.

Burying his nose in my hair, he breathed in deeply, "God I missed you."

"I missed you too, Comrade." I kissed his chest, eliciting a groan from him. "We still have to talk though, you know that right?"

I wanted to address the elephant in the room before we did anything, for two reasons. One, I wanted to make sure he knows my intentions. I didn't want to sleep with him, just to leave again and he hurt like the last time. Two, I was convincing myself that sleeping with him won't change my mind. That once I said what I wanted, that was it, nothing we did would change it.

"I know," he sighed, "I just have one question." I nodded against his chest, telling him to continue, "Were you happy? Being away from here, this world?"

"I can't really answer that," I sighed, "I was so focused on finding Eddie and making sure Adrian didn't get himself into any trouble that I didn't get to see what was out there for me. But I missed you, and all I know is I don't want to lose you again."

"You don't have a choice," he chuckled, "I am bonded to Adrian now, I have a feeling he and I are going to be seeing a lot of each other. Which means you and I will be too."

"Just because you are bonded, doesn't mean you have to have him as a charge."

"That is true, but I want to. He saved my life, I owe him that much. He is the only reason I can still hold you in my arms. I think that warrants a request of reallocation."

I rose from his side, one hand planted firmly over the small scar that serves as the only reminder of what happened in that house, and stared down at him, "What about Liss? Who is going to protect her?"

"She is the Princess, she will be assigned two, maybe three guardians. Don't worry, Roza, she will be well protected inside and out of Court."

Rolling out of the bed, I paced the small area at the foot. This isn't supposed to happen like this. He isn't supposed to want to leave Lissa and guard Adrian, no matter that he is bonded to him. He is supposed to stay with her. It's a safe, easy, assignment, and it pays rather well. I am supposed to take care of Adrian. Not only that, but if he guards Adrian, and he and I are off wherever we wind up, then we are still in the same predicament. _Love or Loyalty._

"Roza?"

"You can't, we can't," I mumbled.

"Or…" he drug out the word, causing me to stop pacing, "you could graduate and stay with Lissa, while I take Adrian?"

"Or you can stay with Lissa, while Adrian and I go back to our lives?" _That came out wrong, very wrong. Fuck._ "Comrade, I didn't…" I cut myself off, the look on his face about snapped my whole body in half. "Dimitri?"

"Do you want to be with him?" he growled.

"What? No. Of course not. I told you, I don't want to lose you. I don't want anyone but you. Fuck, Dimitri, I want to marry you." I hadn't meant to blurt that out so soon, and by the look on his face, he wasn't expecting it.

I have been thinking back to that dream, _our dream,_ I realized I want nothing more than to take his name. To have a little cabin in the woods, away from judgment and gossip. I wanted to go to bed every night knowing that no matter how long or far apart we were, we would always come back to each other.

I wanted him, the good, the bad, and the ugly; his mind, body, heart, and soul.

"But I don't want to be here anymore. I want to find a way to make it work without giving up my life, our life, for them. I love you, Comrade, only you, always and forever."

He blinked several times, his mouth hung open for a second before a face-splitting smile, _the rare one reserved for me_ , spread, "You want to marry me?"

"I want it all with you," I smiled back, "but preferably with a 2 in front of my age before my name changes."

"You already changed your name," he growled, "and you better grow that beautiful hair of yours back out."

"The name is fake," I chuckled, "and I knew you would be pissed about that."

Rising to his feet, he stood in front of me, running his fingers through my hair. It's not as short as is was in the beginning, but we have a long way to go before it's back to normal. His eyes dropped back to mine, the intensity of the lust swirling in them made me squeeze my legs together.

"I told you not to cut it," he gripped the short strands at the back, pulling my head backward, to give him better access to my neck that he was now placing open mouth kisses too. "When will you learn to listen to me?"

"When you... teach me... something worth remembering," I stumbled out breathlessly.

"Oh, Roza, I have plenty to teach you."

* * *

I couldn't stop fidgeting.

Sitting in the clawfoot chair by the window in the Chapels attic, I rehearsed my lines in my head. I had texted Lissa after Abe had given me a new phone, and told her to meet me here to talk about everything. I wasn't sure what she would want answers to first; why I left; Dimitri and I's relationship; how the bond broke; or where we would go from here. I had an answer for everything, yet, I continued to think none of them would be good enough for her. Because in the end, not only are we no longer bonded, but I am still leaving this world, most importantly, leaving her.

Having talked with Abe earlier today, he told me what I need to do to access my trust fund, where his homes were located that I was welcome to, and as much about himself as I could think to ask. I still have some, though not as much, resentment toward him for not being around. But I understand it.

When I was little, one of his 'partners' crossed him, and the end result became a blood bath. Some people weren't happy about the way things happened, and threated Abe, and subsequently, me. They had known he had a child and wanted to take what he loved from him as he had done to them. Pavel was hospitalized for months after they beat him within an inch of his life to get to me. If it hadn't been for him, I would have died a hell of a lot sooner. Abe decided then to send me to America, where Alberta- my Aunt- worked, to keep me safe.

That little piece of information is one thing I am still upset over. Having been lied to your entire life will result in that type of emotion. I can understand why he sent me away, to protect me, but at the very least, I could have known about him. Known that Alberta was in fact related to me and that when the time was right, I would get to meet him. I would get over it, in time, but for now, I have bigger fish to fry, and she just walked through the door.

"Hey, Liss," I smiled, trying to hide the nausea rolling through my stomach.

Taking a seat across from me, she crossed her legs, folded her hands in her lap, and fixed me with a _spill-it-now_ stare.

"What do you want to know first?"

"How did it break?" I knew that would be the first, no matter how curious, and pissed, she was about Dimitri and me.

Giving her the SparkNotes version of my fight with Brayden, and Robert's partial healing and medical treatment, I laid out the timeline of events, answering any additional questions she came up within the process. She asked about Robert, his powers and the others involved. I answered as best I could about Robert since other than restoring a Strigoi, I wasn't sure what abilities he held in the element. As for the others, I only spoke a few words about Brayden, my disdain for him not diminishing after gaining my freedom. Thankfully, Sydney -the alchemist- contacted her higher-ups and he is now being held in one of their facilities.

Then, Ryder, that one was hard. The first night I met him, he warned me, helped me even. I had a hard time coming to terms with his role in the end, but once I talked to him more, heard his story, I couldn't hate him like Brayden. He was just a lost soul, trying to find his way home. I hope he does now that Robert is out of the picture. We don't know where he went, but as long as he isn't bothering us anymore, we will deal with it. But if he ever shows up again, I can't promise to not beat the ever living shit out of him.

"Dimitri?" she rose a brow, "Do I really want to know about that?"

"Maybe, maybe not, but you need too," I deadpanned.

By the time I finished telling her about how I fell for him, she was in tears. Lissa has never paid attention to my love life, other than wanting me to have a little fun to loosen the coils every once in a while. She never saw me with a happily ever after because, let's be honest, that's not how it works. I know it, and so does she.

"So, what does this all mean for us? What happens now?"

"We are still working out the details, he wants to go one way, and I want another."

"What do you want?"

"To be something more than my sister's shadow, or my brother's keeper, I want to make a difference."

"And what about me? What am I supposed to do?"

"Lissa, you have the world at your fingertips. You are the Princess, the sole heir to the Dragomir line, you can do anything you want. You will always be protected by the best guardians, even if I am not one of them. I may not be your shadow anymore, but I will always be your sister."

"But I'm going to miss you, Rose."

"I'm going to miss you, too, but on the bright side, you can come to visit whenever you want," I chuckled, "well, as soon as I know where I am going."

* * *

Adrian

They say, 'love makes you do stupid things' -fucking understatement- but there is something even stronger than that that can make you do far worse, say like, bonding yourself to the man the woman you love is in love with.

Loyalty- and I am not talking about loyalty to us, _they come first_ , bullshit, but loyalty to your family.

It's the reason Rose fled the Academy in search of Eddie -to save her brother.

And it's the reason I laid my hands on Dimitri and gave him everything I had -to save my cousin.

After a brief moment of second-guessing saving his life _for her_ , I realized I had to do it for me. For my family.

Before meeting Rose, I never felt like I really belonged anywhere. I had dozens of friends, but none of them would stand through the rain with me. They would wait out the storm, for the sky to clear, and come in search of the pot of gold at the end of my fucked up rainbow. My parents didn't care about what, or who, I did, as long as I didn't drag our name through the mud. Auntie is the only person I ever really connected with, and it was her that informed me of my connection to Dimitri.

When I called her to ask about the Spirit user she knew of in Russia, she directed me to Yeva. Yeva Belikova. That old woman scared the shit out of me, knowing more than she should about exactly why I was calling. _Side note_ : I never told Aunt Tatiana _why_ I was looking for other Spirit users.

After an hour of speaking on the phone with Yeva, learning about my Aunt, cousins, and Oksana -the Spirit user- the pieces of one seriously complex puzzle began to come together, displaying a picture of the family I never had, but desperately wanted.

That's why I ran forward.

That's why I saved him.

That's why -standing in my room, plane tickets in hand- I called him over to talk tonight.

We had arrived back at the Academy three days ago, allowing the dust to settle over the last week worth of events. Restoring Eddie took a lot out of Liss, but she bounced back rather well. Eddie, on the other hand, is having some trouble handling being a Dhampir again. Rose is hung up on what she wants to do next, trying to decide exactly where we should go from here. And Dimitri and I, well, let's just say this whole 'seeing into my mind' thing is getting old, really fast for us both.

We all need help.

We all need to get away.

And I have just the place to do it.

 _ **To Be Continued….**_

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 **Author's Note:**

 **That's a wrap Loves!**

 **Oh My Effing G- I don't even know what to do with myself right now!**

 **Wait, yes I do... bring you all the next part.**

 **Book 2 of 'Love/Loyalty Duet'**

 **Thank you to everyone who has reviewed/faved/followed me on this journey. I am blessed to have such wonderful readers!**

 **Now, tell me your favorite part and what you are looking forward to seeing in book 2. I will tell you this much, there will be a lot of heart, and heat in that one. Our fucked up family will be embarking on one hell of a ride.**

 **As always, leave your thoughts in the reviews, and hop on over to Facebook to follow along with blurbs/updates on the next book.**

 **All My Love,**

 **Dream**


	27. BOOK TWO ANNOUNCEMENT

MY FATHER'S DAUGHTER

LOVE/LOYALTY BOOK 2

LYING. CHEATING. STEALING. KILLING.

It runs through my veins, for I am, My Father's Daughter.

I am not above doing things most consider unthinkable if it means keeping those I love safe. I am not above putting my own life on the line, to save someone else. I am not above breaking and entering, theft, or perjury if it gets me the answers I need.

I would do anything for my family because here, we are not defined by blood, but by love, and loyalty.

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It's here Love's!

Slide on over to my page and check out the second installment of Love/Loyalty.

Fair warning, tissues will more than likely be required, and you may not want to read while at work, in the company of others, or even listen to the audio while driving. LOL. This is my most heartfelt, hot as hell, story thus far. And yes, worse than 'Line Of Fire', so you know what that means.

Be sure to Fav/Follow along to receive your update notifications, and please, leave your thoughts in the reviews. Even the simplest, 'I love it' or even 'I hate it', the smallest acknowledgment is encouraging.

All My Love, and Enjoy!

Dream

P.S. - If you're not following on Facebook, you are missing out. Swing on over to my page and hit that like button. Keep up to date on all things 'Dream' , to include snips, sneak peaks, random shenanigans and giveaway prizes for being involved with certain polls, post and story blurbs.

Www dot facebook dot com /dreamwalkersobsession

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 **UPDATES, FOR NOW, WILL BE SATURDAY EVENINGS**


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